JOE'S GARAGE, ACT I

As airtight an excuse for a commercial crossover as you'll find in Frank's discography. ZAPPA conceived Joe's Garage as a cautionary tale (tongue firmly in cheek) exposing the evils of rock & roll and the pernicious part it plays in the lives of two young people, Joe and Mary. The composer was merely amplifying the conservative rhetoric of the right wing, who had begun discussing outloud the possibility that music was corrupting American youth (suggesting censorship as a possible palliative). An ardent supporter of free speech in art, ZAPPA flourishes in the role of the Central Scrooooooootinizer, pushing his two unsuspecting pawns (Joe and Mary) into the paths of prostitution (after a sort) and venereal disease. The real story here, however, is one of wonderfully accessible music. Imagine the best parts of "Sheik Yerbouti" distilled ("Bobby Brown Goes Down", "Jewish Princess") with the guitar solos and complex arrangements contained to short bursts, and you'll have the blueprint for Joe's Garage. The album generated a strong single in "Catholic Girls" -- which of course got limited airplay (who needs censorship?) -- and lots of fine, funny songs like "Wet T-Shirt Nite", "Joe's Garage" and "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" You'd have to go pretty far back (say, Over-Nite Sensation) to find another ZAPPA album that combined the appealing with the appalling for such a palatable mixture. It's not that "Joe's Garage Act I" hits any higher highs than "Sheik Yerbouti" or Ship Arriving Too Late, it just hits them more consistently. Though it doesn't diminish the enjoyment of this album, Act I does end on a cliffhanger, so you'll need to pick up the double-elpee Acts II and III (released a few months later) to find out how Mary and Joe make out.

Zappa at his best, Joe's garage, catholic girls, & crew slut, are all classics, while wet t-shirt nite, why does it hurt when i pee?, and lucille, are among some of his finestsongs ever. Brilliant guitar & lyrics, an exceedingly clever album as is the follow up acts ii & iii, by far the best album of Frank Zzappa's over-extended career thats still going strong a long time after his demise.

With Joe's Garage Zappa finally brings it all together. This is Zappa on all cylinders, strap in and go along for the ride.

From the straight ahead rock of "Joe's Garage" to the soul balladry of "Lucille", Zappa's backing bands have never sounded better or more polished than this. Zappa's pen is spitting out some of his most accessible, pointed and, dare we say it, nostalgic lyrics. "Joe's Garage" paints a picture any amateur musician can put themselves in: the rehearsal in a buddies garage, a couple of quarts of beer and some local girls (if one was lucky). "Catholic Girls", "Crew Slut" and "Wet T-Shirt Night" revisit the familiar theme of groupies and their relationship with bands. "Toad-O Line" features some fantastic soloing by Zappa, and some "loose-but-tight" lounge atmospheres from the band. "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" shows Zappa and band tossing out some truly bombastic rock and roll behind Ike Willis, who shows yet again he is the best vocalist Zappa ever worked with. "Lucille", in another context and time, could have been a major hit and here shows a smoother, slower Zappa reggae like groove and is as close to a love song as Zappa ever wrote.

Zappa wrote the storyline of the "Joe's Garage" album to fit together some existing music, and it does show at times, but on the whole "Joe's Garage" is, for me, the strongest Zappa album.

This record sounds complex American rhythmic pop rock: it is among the most accessible records from the Zappa's discography. There are tons of excellent & catchy lead & backing vocals. Some bits are really complex and loaded; there are some harmonica parts, some saxes arrangements and the percussion passages (xylophone) by Ed Mann are excellent, as always. The keyboards does not take too much room in order to let the rhythmic rock character take all its meaning. The "Wet T-shirt" song is entertained by Zappa himself in front of a crowd: Dale Bozzio (The Missing Persons' singer) is the sexy contestant: she is absolutely delightful with her chick's voice & laugh; the last part of this song contains one of the best Zappa's guitar solos: the sound is CLEAN & rich, and each note is amazingly well played, forming a melodic and structured solo. "Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up" is the model track for the next record: "Joe's garage acts 2 & 3": this song is more mellow, a bit "floating reggae" and it contains subtle & delicate guitar sounds. Zappa uses a whispering voice without any music during some intros and outros (Central Scrutinizer): this idea will be repeated on the second "Joe's garage" album.

Rating: 4.5 stars

We like(love), we do not like(love). Even if I am not a fan of Zappa, I find that his preparatory initiative is interesting. In this album we find a lot of humor and musical mockery (that we also find in Sheik Yerbouti who is in the same lineage). I love more particularly "Catholic Girls" who has to be a "deceptive" song (but as I do not understand English). A very good album.

Frank Zappa's stab at a concept album is strikingly crude and unusual when compared to his other works. It is very guitar oriented and features some of his best solos, it has his most straightforward and rough lyrics, and some of the weirdest dialogue/storylines that I've ever come across. Taking in the form of a 3 act Opera of sorts, Joe's Garage really is a telling of a youth who gets caught up in Rock and Roll and eventually loses everything he has. The Central Scrutinizer (voiced by Zappa) tells the tale of young Joe, from his humble days in the garage, to the final days at the Utility Muffin Research Kitchen. Featuring a plethora of guest musicians and vocalists, one cannot help but feel a bit overwhelmed at the virtuosity of this album. From Vinnie Colaiuta to Tommy Mars, all the Zappa elite are here and give top notch performances.

From the opening distorted voice of the Central Scrutinizer, to the arena rock-esque Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?, Frank really pulls out all the stops on this album. Act 1 is a magnificent effort that goes through all the classic Zappa forms, complicated time signatures, complex chords and progressions, operatic yet subtle vocals, and wicked and searing guitar solos. It almost seems too guitar oriented for Zappa. The highlights of the first Act are the single Catholic Girls, which has Zappa at his tackiest lyrically and a catchy riff, Joe's Garage, with great vocals and guitar play, and Why Does it Hurt When I Pee? for sheer bluntness and comedy.

Overall, Act 1 is a great opening to the Joe's Garage saga. More was to come in Acts II and III, but are they up to par with Act I? Act I itself is brilliant, and it really acts as a great prelude to Acts II and III. 5/5.

Joe's Garage Act's 1,2 & 3 is one of the greatest concept albums ever recorded. The story of a guy who just wanted to play music but discovers just how sleazy the music industry is. Takes a good shot at Scientology along the way. Very humorous and very complex. I've been listening to this album for over 25 years and never get tired of it. "They're pretty good musicians, but it don't make no difference because anybody who would buy this record doesn't give a f+#% if there's good musicians on it".

A morally troublesome work by the musical guiding star of my life. Some great songs(and one truly tremendous guitar solo) are on here, but the sexism of this at times gets more than a little off-putting. While giddy good spirits manage to carry the day in "Catholic Girls" and "Wet T-Shirt Nite", I find the song "Crew Slut" to be thuggishly crude and ugly. While the song begins with a clever musical imitation of an industrial factory(suggesting Zappa was not paying attention to society as it turned in North America into the sort of post- industrial society beloved by the globalization poo-bahs), it rapidly degenerates into repeated chants of "slut, slut, slut!" Not one of Zappa's higher moments. There are groupies out there? No kidding. Why doesn't Zappa express contempt for the morons who exploit them? I'm not being P.C. This song really is ugly. That being said, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?" is hilarious and "Lucille" is actually quite a beautiful song. A troubled thumbs-up by this Zappaphile.

Act I was the more musical of them all, and this is agreeably the beginning of Zappa's more...commercial, I suppose you could say, era. Maybe accessible is a better word. The late 70s and start of the 80s seems to be the general time things like that went down for everyone. Yet Zappa was still extremely busy this year, in '79: releasing 5 studio albums in total. So, has the writing suffered from all that exhausting work? Only a little. Hardly at all, really. Regardless, the music is still complex, progressive, and (mostly) interesting. This album earns another adjective - something Zappa's never been tagged with before - this album is even a little catchy.

Yes, it is a concept album, but it's not an album that is supported by its concept at all. It's a story about a dude who wants to be a musician (yes, you guessed it, named Joe), and his adventures through the corruptive music industry - with the "Central Scrutinizer" offering a commentary throughout. Of course, there are laughs throughout as always, and all the diverse musical styles keep it engaging. Unfortunately, the jazz nuances, the big-band feel, the really devastatingly complex songwriting are gone forever. And, to make it worse, some more "pop-sensitive" songs appear, and may annoy old-time Zappa fans. Catholic Girls? Kind of an odd, radio-time-earning, comedy routine. But for the most part, this is still excellent songwriting, and very compelling playing.

Joe's Garage was perhaps the FZ album that got me convinced that I had to be a Zappa follower! It's possibly the funniest album I have ever heard. Zappa as The Central Scrutinizer is simply genius. A lot of guitar soloing is on this album with Zappa depicting the main character Joe who is a guitarist. The album features the always amazing Vinnie Colaiuta who made on of his finest recordings here. Also Ike Willis is really on fire on this album. The album production is good, but also very produced. At this point (1979) is was with no doubt one of Zappa's studio albums which sounded most like a actual studio album.

Part I is a perfect album for me. Not one stinker on this one. I actually think it's hard to choose a favorite track from part I since they all work so well together. So all of part I is a major thumbs up from here!

So all in all this is a very special album for me. It helped make me a zappaholic. It opened at whole new spectrum for me and the incorporation of humor in music. Great playing and great lyrics. This is really in my book a milestone in Zappa's career since no other album he had made so far sounded anything like this one.

I give the compilation disc of all three acts four stars but the two individual parts on three stars each? Preposterous.

In truth, however, there is a good reason for that. The problem with these releases being split is a matter of variety. Act I features some very interesting and exciting songs, but there is little variance and exploration on the disc compared to the other two acts. They even each other out, adding to each other, adding complicated pieces to simplistic pieces and experimental tracks to commercial ones. On its own, Act I is a fine album with some good music. The music is mostly in the vein of Skeik Yerbouti, being more straightforward and exciting.

I'm going to copy and paste from my review of the double disc compilation, so you don't have to go looking for what I have to say about the songs. Here we go:

The music on Act I is the most commercial and generally least progressive, though that's a silly way of looking at it, all told. Joe's Garage features a (surprise!) garage band sort of feel, with references to some golden oldies, such as the surfer classic Wipe-Out. The next few tracks are standard Zappa bits, with dirty jokes and unique little bits here and there. All have terribly catchy and terribly inappropriate melodies, I must add. And speaking of terribly catchy and terribly inappropriate melodies, the peak of all awkward Zappa tunes comes up here: Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? I swear, I have never come across a song so catchy or so unwise to sing out loud in front of people. It truly is a stellar track, devoid of unnecessary parts--just bare bones quality.

This album gets three stars from me, though it really is a good release. The reason lies in promotion. Which version should you get? The answer is the whole of Joe's Garage, not just Act I.

"It looks just like a Telefunken U-47."

It was almost as if Zappa was just warming up with Dinah Mo Hum and some of the stuff on Sheik Yerbouti, then with Joe's Garage he went and stuck it completely out.

Joe's Garage was released in 1979 as a three LP concept album set. Act I was offered up as a single disc with II and III being a double LP. I'm commenting on the whole piece here.

Sure, it starts out mildly enough with a little ditty about a garage band. The next thing you know we're into groupies, wet t-shirts, venereal disease, robot sex, prison sex, and it's all topped off with a little green rosetta. Let's just say you should probably keep this album away from children, with the possible exception of the instrumental, Watermelon In Easter Hay. Though I was in my teens when I first heard it, I don't think it has permanently warped me or anything, but then again...

Haha, wow was my first impression of this entire epic concept album (with acts ii and iii as well) but for now i will just do the first act... i did enjoy this one more than the second disk, the songs were just a lot more in-your-face and it was just overall more concise than the second disc, songs like CATHOLIC GIRLS and WHY DOES IT HURT WHEN I PEE are just about the funniest songs ive ever heard while LUCILLE HAS MESSED MY MIND UP really tuggs on heartstrings and has actuall emotion. The concept is simple..music is a thing of the past, banned by many and loved by oh so very few as we follow our hero 'Joe' through possibly the biggest journey ive ever heard (if they made this into a movie id watch it over and over) the concept is soo strong, and you can actually picture a feature film based around these songs in some way, and this is just the first act, fantastic;

Central Scrutinizer - 7/10 Joe's Garage - 9/10 Catholic Girls - 10/10 Crew Slut - 9/10 Wet T-Shirt Night - 9/10 Toad O Line - 9/10 Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? - 10/10 Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up - 10/10

MY CONCLUSION? the first act of this concept is splendid, now on to acts 2 and 3..

When compared to the next to acts, this album seems a little bit mediocre.

Whereas Act II and III are excellent music-wise, this one seems to mainly try to gain commercial success. The same humor is still in the music as the next two acts but the instrumentation is really not up to par with them. The songs are still catchy nontheless, Catholic Girls for instance, but they just aren't amazing like the ones on the other two acts.

The storyline seems to get really screwed up between the first appearance of The Central Scrutinizer and the last appearance and that really kind of irks me, the whole appliantology thing does really...

Nevertheless, it's a decent album, a great one for most artists and an OK one for Zappa.

3 stars.

"You'll love it; it's a way of life."

Joe's Garage opens to the threatening voice of Zappa as "the scrutinizer", enjoyably robotic and fun to the vamping of the rhythm section, with some sound effects thrown in there for good measure. Not so much music as it is an experiment to set the tone, which recurs throughout the album. This gives way to the first proper tune, the titular sing- along "Joe's Garage". Kind of zany and trite in a sardonic way (which I think might describe the entire album), this tune is smartly catchy and plays like something out of the musical Grease made manic with Zappa style-- it has more personality in the first two minutes than other artists try to cram into whole albums. "Catholic Girls" keeps the mood brisk and light-hearted, sounding like a parody or genre-mix-match of showtunes, lounge crooners, and the avant-garde. Lots of fun vocal interplay as well.

Sleezy guitar and harmonica follow with "Crew Slut", played with a western-feel while accompanying some very vulgar singing by Zappa. Great soloing here, but as a whole this song shows how some of the songs on this disc lose their appeal once the initial shock of their lyrics has worn off. "Wet-T Shirt Contest" picks the bouncy pace back up again (pun intended), with another catchy melody and trademark Zappa rock orchestration-- with heavy vibe work. Most will remember the dramatized contest itself though, with Zappa portraying the host. At this point the listener will be either completely turned off, embarassed, or laughing out loud. One's reaction is likely to determine whether or not they'll continue listening... because it only gets worse!

An extended and especially tasty guitar solo follows, a catchy song about VD, a surprisingly tender ballad, a unsubtle poke at new-age religion, disco beats to german lyrics, lots (and I mean lots) of sex with robotic-appliances, and lyrics which would make even a 14-year old boy queezy with embarassment. Sound like a Zappa album yet?

Part 1 to "Joe's Garage" ends upruptly, but I enjoyed the journey immensely. Very few albums in my collection are more fun to listen to, and although this is Zappa's most "accessible" album, it remains musically challenging and complex. There are layers of creativity hidden beneath the sleezery of the lyrics. Not to be missed, and a great place for fans to start exploring Zappa's rock style.

Songwriting: 5 Instrumental Performances: 4 Lyrics/Vocals: 4 Style/Emotion/Replay: 5

Frank Zappa is a genius. Every song on this album is great. The first song I ever heard by Frank Zappa was Joe's Garage. I had read about him when I began reading about progressive rock with King Crimson, Pink Floyd, Yes, and Rush. I was watching the classic rock channel on tv when Frank Zappa came on. I have loved his music every since. This is a great concept album, with great, funny songs on it. I love the central scrutinizer that narrates the story. Catholic Girls is a hilarious song that leads into Crew Slut. After a number of great songs comes the guitar masterpiece Watermelon in Easter Hay. Joe's Garage is a wonderful prog album that is great for any Zappa fan.

It's often refreshing to hear music that doesn't take itself too seriously. Zappa was a master of this. He made humourous, yet musically pleasant compositions to please anyone in that sort of mood for less serious music. Joe's Garage Act I is one of the better parts to find his more humourous side.

A concept album basically about the music industry, there is a story to all this, and several singers to play all the different character. Many spoken word sections are thrown about as well to add to the experience. It has it's fair share of moments that make you laugh. The only track I don't really like is "Lucille Has My Mind Messed Up" which I find quite annoying. But other than that this is an enjoyable album.

The style here is sort of a jazz/classic rock vibe, only a lot more theatrical so to speak. It has it's touches of avant-garde sections and obviously as stated several times, the lyrics are not serious at all. This is the act where the humour manages to avoid seeming too weird and downright disgusting (which kicks in in the later acts, luckily not found here).

So there really isn't much more to say. Good album with simple, yet satisfying shorter tracks. Very satisfying part of the concept to make up for the (what I find to be) nearly unlistenable Acts II and III. 4 stars.

It seems funny to me that I think of this as some of Frank Zappa's later work when in actuality it came out in only 1979. Nonetheless, this is a different side of Frank Zappa then what appeared on his real early Mothers albums. The music is a little less weird, the lyrics are a little more scatological, but the energy and the "not-taking-itself-too-seriously" mentality that one can expect from Frank Zappa is definitely still here. "Joe's Garage" is a tongue-in-cheek concept album about the dangers of rock-and-roll, narrated by "The Central Scrutinizer," a kind of propagandistic character whose raspy words of warning appear throughout the album.

Speaking of The Central Scrutinizer, "Joe's Garage, Act I" begins with a track that bears his name. The track is really just an introduction, featuring about a few minutes of spoken word lyrics over an energetic, repeating groove. It sets the stage nicely and helps to establish the story, but in my opinion three and a half minutes is a little too long for a spoken word introduction.

"Joe's Garage" is next, and it's a darn good song. It almost has the feel of a very vintage kind of Americana, with some simple but charming lyrics and some fun instrumental breaks meant to represent the beginning attempts of "Joe's" band. It's a nice, pop-rock and roll track, and it's a hundred miles away from some of the experimental noise that appeared on the early Mothers albums. The track ends with about 30 seconds of narration from the Central Scrutinizer before transitioning into the next track.

"Catholic Girls" is that follow up, and it's thoroughly goofy. Featuring some hilariously exaggerated vocals and equally ridiculous lyrics, the song transitions between a more upbeat, doo-wop-ish section and a slower, more spaced-out section. It's still far more poppy than a lot of Zappa's past work, but the irreverent humor is thematically 100% Zappa.

And speaking of irreverent humor, "Crew Slut" fits that description pretty nicely. Starting off with a grooving and slightly sinister sounding guitar riff, "Crew Slut" develops around some driving bass-work into one of my favorite songs on the album. It's always amazing to me how Zappa can write songs with such goofy lyrics, through in some spoken word sections, and still make a better pop song than a whole lot of other artists who devoted their entire career to that genre.

"Wet T-Shirt Night" continues much in the same vein, which should be utterly unsurprising based on that title. It's an incredibly cheerful sounding song with a strange-but-cool instrumental towards the beginning that almost sounds like some kind of demented circus music, and I'm pretty sure at one points it quotes a brief bit of "Also Sprach Zarathustra." Like a lot of the album, it features a spoken word section, but it works pretty well here and doesn't detract from the song a bit.

"Toad O Line," which my copy lists as "On the Bus" is an instrumental that features Zappa's guitar prominently. Like all of Zappa's instrumental work it's absolutely amazing, and it's a perfect transition point in the album, providing an intense break from the absurd lyrics contained on the rest of the disk.

Fear not, though, as "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee" brings those lyrics back in top form, and it's actually hands down my favorite song on the album and might even be one of my favorite single Zappa songs ever. Musically it's amazing, with some incredibly intense guitar and some stellar keyboards as well. The frankly hilarious lyrics are delivered absolutely deadpan, which only makes them funnier.

"Lucille Has Messed My Mind Up" closes off the album. It's a spacey, smooth track with an excellent vocal performance and some psychedelic sound effects thrown in just for good measure. It's a great, comparatively restrained song, and it's a great closer.

I began this review with the intention of giving this album 3.5 stars, but after listening through it a couple more times I realize I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I called it anything less than excellent. If you need your lyrics serious then you probably won't enjoy this album, as the lyrics are pervasive and at the forefront of the music, but if you enjoy a bit of humor in your music then you owe it to yourself to hear this album. Certainly a bit poppy for Zappa, but when you can write songs as well as well as Mr. Zappa can then it really doesn't matter what genre you're writing in.

4/5

Probably one of the most overlooked albums of all time.

Joe's Garage is amazing! And not just act one, I'm talking about 1,2, and even 3. This is his second best album behind One Size Fits All. It's funny, progressive, a d the story isn't that hard to follow. Sure, it may get a bit crude sometimes but when you are used to Zappa's dirty humour you can just pay attention to the perfect album.

The album kicks off with a drum beat and a voice saying "This is the Central Scrutinized". It is Zappa whispering into a projecter. The Central Scrutizer works for the government. He is the narrator and the antagonist in the story (He is also my favorite character). He thinks he is very smart and knows all these effects and consequences of life. What he hates most of all is music. Right after he brings up the subject of music we get a an awesome little xylophone melody. He then goes on about music and gives the first of many loading announcements-these are repeated throughout the album.

The next song is the title track. It is the most radio friendly but is just as progressive. Frank Zappa puts in a lot of funny effects describing lyrics after stanzas. Like when he says the girls come dancing, they dance like BOOM, BAM! BOOM BAM BUM! BOOM, BAM! BOOM BAM BUM! The song slowly builds up more and fades out in the end with angry neighbors yelling at Joe and his band.

After the Central Scrutinizer introduces Joe's girlfriend Mary to the story, we get Catholic Girls. This is a stereotypical but funny song. It has good guitar in the middle. It took me a few listens but can be pretty good. The Central Scrutinized, in the end, keeps the story going when he tells us that Mary, one day decided to do something different described in the next song.

Crew Slut is the next song on the album. Mary becomes a groupie for another rock band, or as Zappa describes it, a "Crew Slug." The song is funny when the rock band people start taking to Mary and saying things like "Hey I'll buy you a pizza". In the middle we get a guitar solo. Then end of the song changes the melody, and has Mary talking to the rock group members.

The next song is Wet T-Shirt Night AKA Fembot in a Wet T-Shirt. It starts with lyrics talking about a Wet T-Shirt Night, which I didn't know still existed until my sister went to one last March. The song has a xylophone solo and the first part is pretty good. We then go into a spoken word interview between Mary, who is completing and an Game Show Host. The conversation is funny, but like I said earlier, you have to be used to Zappa's crude humour to get it. Anyway, Mary competes and the boy love her.

Joe, however, somehow finds out about Mary. This song is On the Bus, but on the original LP I guess it was pinned as Toad 'O Line. It is overall a guitar solo until The Central Scrutinized makes an important announcement in the middle. He tells us that Joe went to search for Mary but found another girl named Lucille who works at a Jack in the Box. Lucille and him get it on, but she gives him VD described in the next song.

The next song is "Why Does it Hurt When I Pee?". Yes, the title says it all. It is a crude one, but has some very progressive chord change. Therefore, it is a love/hate prog rock song.

Finally, we get Lucille has Messed my Mind Up. This is the most relaxed song on the album. It's a reggee ballad about how Lucille broke Joe's heart. It may go on a bit and seems to be somewhat of a filler, but it's not horrible. The ending is the Scrutinized Postlude. The Central Scrutinized ends this act off by saying that Joe's problems are not from different things happening but Music itself! Joe then decided to turn to religion to solve his problems, but we hear about that in Act 2. Stay tuned for more on Joe's Garage!.