ASTRA

it's hard to describe such ineffectual non-threatening rock. Imagine Iron Maiden, no Eddie, no denim or leather, dressed in silk shoulder padded jackets. throw in some poodles and lashings of melo-drama, add a dash of Kajagoogoo and A-ha (only without the gritty cutting edge). there's even a little psinkling of Roxy Music in there

it has to be said that this album is one of the most classic 80s soft pop rock albums: it encapsulates a whole genre of music. So, to some extent it could be argued that you should have this album in your colelction because it typifies a style and period so well. Then again, it's a period and style which may well be better buried under a pile of stinking waste guarded by a helpful police man assuring us that we should move along as there is really nothing to hear.

So is it a 5 or a 1? Difficult choice: Topographic Oceans/Astra - Wish You Were Here/Astra

Not that difficult really. Avoid at all costs. There is help out there if you ever find yourself in a confined in a small space and forced to listen to this: remember above all things, maintain eye contact, back slowly out of the room, then in the words of PF Run Like Hell

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