MEAT MALLET

It's not often an album comes along and smashes something tangibly exciting in your face, is it? An album that gives you an experience you didn't think you could have anymore and you can't stop listening to it? Meat Mallet by A Formal Horse is one of those albums. I didn't think they could top the brilliance of Here Comes a Man from the Council With a Flamethrower. It's hard to compare the two as they are vastly different in structure. however, I think that Meat Mallet is a progression for the band in almost every single way. Their compositions are constantly unique; I honestly have no clue how they keep coming up with engaging song structures, which feel different from every other song.

Because that's the tricky part.

Prog is a genre which constantly rewards you with surprises, and that's why it's so addictive. But you can't just Frankenstien's Monster a song together and keep it engaging. It needs to make sense. And this is exactly what A Formal Horse does. Composition-wise, I think A Formal Horse have it down. Lyrically? Now that's an interesting area. The lyrics are either gratuitously abstract, or are designed to work about the music ? or both! I wish there was a lyric book or something, because I can't make sense of the songs' meanings. "Cause you're a fish in a sandal, Alastair Campbell, Adam Lallana, I'm a lasagna"? Maybe I'm naive and I don't know much about football, fish, or sandals, but I have no idea what this could be about - but do you know what? I absolutely love the way it sounds!

And that's ultimately what music is about, isn't it? It's about how it makes you feel. I don't know what the lyrics mean, but the way they make me move makes that superfluous. This album gets you jammin' out to it so hard, that this review has taken so, so much longer than it should have (I have it on while I'm writing this).

I should really write about some of those songs which will move you in such a way. 'Someone's After My Malted Milk' has such an amazing energy. It's a top-heavy track with a marching band crescendo to finish it off. (I just realised I describe music like Jamie Oliver describes food.) "You can't keep malted milk in the patio!" - when Hayley belts this part and it bridges the high energy sections of the track; it feels extra impactful when the drums come in because of the isolated vocals. The entire album is so strong, but those last 4 tracks: 'Rose Train', 'Let It Run', 'Mr. C's Two Thousand and Threes', and 'Turkey 2000s' are like a delicious sandwich (why am I back on the topic of food?) You have a slice of bread, cheese, ham, and one more slice of bread. 'Rose Train' probably has the sickest riff on the whole album. If you're listening to this loud it will hit you like a bolt of lightning. 'Let It Run' has almost patriotic lyrics; (it features potentially my favourite lyric on the album, "Pi$$es like a dog on a leash and I've gotta let it run") that's another key element of A Formal Horse. Their feelings of Britishness; but in the best ways. At least, I hope they are meant for the best. The lyrics in 'Mr. C's Two Thousand and Threes' make me a little bit cautious: "His pixelated Asian face in a mystery"? This is where a lyric book would come in handy. I'm not sure what to make of this lyric out of context. 'Turkey 2000s' closes the album with one of the strongest tracks. The tone on the guitar during the solo is mixed at such a perfect level to allow the other instrumentation to come through, yet it also steals the show. It's gorgeous. 5/5. A damn masterpiece. I will be listening to this for years and years to come.

Great Heavy Prog punk music with really weird lyrics. Is Hayley McDonnell what Deborah Harry, Lydia Lunch, Siouxsie, or even Elizabeth Fraser would have sound like had they appeared in the 2020s?

1. "This One's Just a Warning" (4:47) great, throbbing prog grunge metal with occasional vocal contributions of the title phrase and a bit more. (8.75/10)

2. "You've Got a Billion and I've Got a Half" (3:53) spacious and portentous, it takes this one 80 seconds to show itself. Great melodies in the vocal. What a hilarious lyric! Could almost have come off of a UT GRET or PINGVINORKESTERN album. (8.75/10)

3. "Hong Kong" (2:29) opens with some Godzilla-like music plodding along over which multiple vocal tracks sing. At 0:55 we switch into an almost 4 A.D. sound. (4.25/5)

4. "I'm a Lasagne" (4:05) more insanely funny/clever lyrics (a play on 10CC's "Life is a Minestrone"?) over a heavier 4 A.D. montage. A little too disjointed to warrant high praise. (8.5/10)

5. "Bring a Bun" (2:10) acoustic guitar strumming and Mellotron beneath Hayley's diaphonously heart-wrenching vocal. My second top three song. (4.5/5)

6. "Someone's After My Malted Milk" (4:20) sounds like a punky rendition of a PURE REASON REVOLUTION song. More humorous lyrics delivered ? beautifully. (8.75/10)

7. "Space8" (3:54) Is this what Siouxsie or Elizabeth Fraser would have sounded like in the 2020s? Incredible song. My favorite song on the album. Simple must be heard. (10/10)

8. "Heavy Hit" (2:17) simple heavy punk music with some really clever phrases in the lyrics. (4.5/5)

9. "Rose Train" (4:00) heavy punk pop in the vein of Siouxsie and the Banshees, Lydia Lunch, or even Lena Lovich. Great vocal performance of amazing lyrics. (8.75/10)

10. "Let It Run" (3:06) Interesting musical hodge podge with more interesting lyrics delivered impeccably by Hayley. (8.5/10)

11. "Mr C's Two Thousand and Threes" (3:37) Hayley exhibits some vocal qualities here making her almost sound like Paula Cole, Tracy Thorn, and Alanis Morissette in an Elisabeth Fraser style (an effect that is helped by the Robin Guthrie-like music. At 1:48 when the music goes broad-spectrum heavy metal it sounds like NIGHTWISH and Black Sabbath. (8.75/10)

12. "Turkey 2000s" (4:13) One of the better songs, musically, with another superlative vocal performance of some amazing lyrics. My final top three song. (9.75/10)

Total Time 42:51

A lot of the songs here would be rated higher if based solely on singer Hayley McDonnell's delivery of the lyrics. It's the sometime simplistic music that sometimes weighs the songs down--or diminishes their overall effect. At the same time, like my colleague, The Frogressive Sock, I will find time to listen to this album for a long time to come. I am certain that the vocals and lyrics alone will continue to reveal majestic moments for years.

B+/4.5 stars; an excellent addition of modern prog to any music lover's album collection. Entertaining and very refreshing.

The one thing I will say about "Meat Mallet" is that it is at the very least more interesting than a lot of the progressive music happening right now. A Formal Horse has an intuition for heaviness, a sense of humor, and at times, a fairly avant-garde approach. That being said, much of this album is just grungy psych rock with complicated guitar rhythms; there's a lot of stuff on here that really isn't very inspired. By about halfway through the album, it mostly all sounds the same. Especially with the more relaxed, clean guitar-driven passages, it feels like the band doesn't have very many tricks up their sleeves. That being said, I do quite enjoy the subdued, acoustic-driven nature of "Let It Run", which is probably the band's most successful attempt at a more relaxed song. Additionally, most of the heavier passages really are fairly excellent; notable tracks on this front include "This One's Just a Warning", "Someone's After My Malted Milk", "Heavy Hit", and "Mr C's Two Thousand and Threes".

Perhaps the weakest aspect of the album is the lyrical content; a lot of the lyrics aren't very interesting, and many sound either like disjointed artsy phrases, or phrases that the band feels sound edgier than they really are (e.g. "This One's Just a Warning" or "You've Got a Billion and I've Got a Half"). They aren't terrible lines, and can certainly carry weight in the right context, but the band repeats them far too many times to be effective. "Space8" is probably the most lyrically egregious song on the album with its anti-social media angle. Unlike Love Over Fear by Pendragon or Virtual Human by Orion 2.0, I do think that the band is going for a more valid criticism of the internet age and social media (i.e. the negative influence social media can have on people's self-image and its addictive nature), but unfortunately it ends up sounding like just another generic and uninspired anti-internet anthem. Also, I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but I cannot for the life of me figure out why the lyrics continue to reference Asia? There are at least 6 songs on the album that mention Tokyo or Japan or Asia or Hong Kong, which feels like a lot for a band from Southampton. To be fair, this is less of a criticism and more of a confusion on my part.

Despite dragging for most of the album, "Meat Mallet" makes up some ground at the end with the excellent closing three tracks "Let It Run", "Mr C's Two Thousand and Threes", and "Turkeys 2000s", which really function all as one continuous piece of music. As I mentioned earlier, "Let It Run" is easily the most effective mellow track on the album; the acoustic part is very engaging, and it flows wonderfully into the crushingly heavy "Mr C's Two Thousand and Threes", which is probably my favorite track on the album. "Turkeys 2000s" comes directly out of this, and while the lyrics are rather odd, the instrumental has some great technicality and heaviness, and it serves very well as a closing track.

All in all, this album is alright, and while it's not an excellent album all the way through, there are certainly some excellent moments. The middle of it had me wanting to bring it down further, but the excellent ending holds it solidly at a 3/5.

The sophomore album from this English act has plenty of strange musical passages and striking vocals. Progressive metal influences are obvious in the powerful, hard-hitting riffs. Many of these songs have a sense of impending doom to them, with their vague lyrics and aggressive atmospheres. Despite the many unorthodox riffs, strange word choices (look no further than the song "I'm a Lasagne"), and overall unpredictability, I don't think this album would be off-putting for someone new to this style of music. The band clearly has a good ear for catchy hooks and surprising twists that keep the listener invested.

Review originally posted here: theeliteextremophile.com/2021/12/13/odds-ends-december-13-2021/