MEAT MALLET

It's not often an album comes along and smashes something tangibly exciting in your face, is it? An album that gives you an experience you didn't think you could have anymore and you can't stop listening to it? Meat Mallet by A Formal Horse is one of those albums. I didn't think they could top the brilliance of Here Comes a Man from the Council With a Flamethrower. It's hard to compare the two as they are vastly different in structure. however, I think that Meat Mallet is a progression for the band in almost every single way. Their compositions are constantly unique; I honestly have no clue how they keep coming up with engaging song structures, which feel different from every other song.

Because that's the tricky part.

Prog is a genre which constantly rewards you with surprises, and that's why it's so addictive. But you can't just Frankenstien's Monster a song together and keep it engaging. It needs to make sense. And this is exactly what A Formal Horse does. Composition-wise, I think A Formal Horse have it down. Lyrically? Now that's an interesting area. The lyrics are either gratuitously abstract, or are designed to work about the music ? or both! I wish there was a lyric book or something, because I can't make sense of the songs' meanings. "Cause you're a fish in a sandal, Alastair Campbell, Adam Lallana, I'm a lasagna"? Maybe I'm naive and I don't know much about football, fish, or sandals, but I have no idea what this could be about - but do you know what? I absolutely love the way it sounds!

And that's ultimately what music is about, isn't it? It's about how it makes you feel. I don't know what the lyrics mean, but the way they make me move makes that superfluous. This album gets you jammin' out to it so hard, that this review has taken so, so much longer than it should have (I have it on while I'm writing this).

I should really write about some of those songs which will move you in such a way. 'Someone's After My Malted Milk' has such an amazing energy. It's a top-heavy track with a marching band crescendo to finish it off. (I just realised I describe music like Jamie Oliver describes food.) "You can't keep malted milk in the patio!" - when Hayley belts this part and it bridges the high energy sections of the track; it feels extra impactful when the drums come in because of the isolated vocals. The entire album is so strong, but those last 4 tracks: 'Rose Train', 'Let It Run', 'Mr. C's Two Thousand and Threes', and 'Turkey 2000s' are like a delicious sandwich (why am I back on the topic of food?) You have a slice of bread, cheese, ham, and one more slice of bread. 'Rose Train' probably has the sickest riff on the whole album. If you're listening to this loud it will hit you like a bolt of lightning. 'Let It Run' has almost patriotic lyrics; (it features potentially my favourite lyric on the album, "Pi$$es like a dog on a leash and I've gotta let it run") that's another key element of A Formal Horse. Their feelings of Britishness; but in the best ways. At least, I hope they are meant for the best. The lyrics in 'Mr. C's Two Thousand and Threes' make me a little bit cautious: "His pixelated Asian face in a mystery"? This is where a lyric book would come in handy. I'm not sure what to make of this lyric out of context. 'Turkey 2000s' closes the album with one of the strongest tracks. The tone on the guitar during the solo is mixed at such a perfect level to allow the other instrumentation to come through, yet it also steals the show. It's gorgeous. 5/5. A damn masterpiece. I will be listening to this for years and years to come.