A FINE DAY TO EXIT

I'm sitting here with a butter knife, because Anathema is wrist-slitting music. Yes, I slit my wrists with a butter knife, because I am a pretentious prog-rock fan who can never take the easy way out. I need a challenge in everything I do. It's also because when I listen to albums for a review, I sit in an empty room with the music, but I allow myself to have some buttered toast because that isn't too complicated that I can't enjoy it without compromising my ability to analyze the album. So all I've got to work with is that knife. Of course I'm not going to stick my fingers in the toaster because burns hurt way longer than cuts and I can't stand pain. The guy whom I've arbitrarily made up and placed next to me for this part of the review has noticed that my wrists are not cut. Why aren't they cut? No, it's not because my butter knife didn't work (how dare you assume that I am incapable of cutting with a butter knife); it's because I can't figure out why I feel the need to cut my wrists. Is it because this music is depressing in nature, or is it because it is fricking boring and I'm looking for anything to take my mind off of this music long enough for me to get through so at least I can say I listened to the whole thing and my scathing criticism will be legitimate? Of course, I need to know why I'm doing it. Much like challenges, I need a reason for all of my actions. *Note* Quick thinkers might notice that all of my actions thus far seem very arbitrary. You're thinking too hard. Focus on what's important: I've found myself stuck in a room with Anathema and a butter knife, and I am confused.

Paraphrase of my thoughts upon listening to this album:

Hey wait a second! This doesn't sound like Anathema at all! This sounds like...something else! Good idea, guys! Judgement was as good as your old sound was going to get, and you knew that it was time to try something else out. Ah, I know what this sounds like: a little bit of old Anathema mixed with a heap of old Radiohead and other various alternative rock bands. Interesting choice... Oh, this second track isn't bad... Wait, this is still depressing, and I am still bored. Where did I put that knife? Oh no! It fell down the vent in the floor! I suppose I was never going to to get around to cutting anyway. Well let's see how the rest of this goes... Hey female vocals on track six; I kinda like that... Wow, this song "Panic" is terrible...

Paraphrase of my thoughts upon finishing this album:

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