IL Y A DES JOURS

It's 1985. I have a mullet. I'm dreading my 'O' levels. I'm under the snakebite induced impression that I look like John Taylor. I am masturbating furiously over my Athena poster of that tennis girls' arse and TV's Cleo Rocos and my only goal in life is to own a 2.8i Ford Granada.

This obviously mattered little to France's mysterious Hellebore whom the same year released 1007 copies on vinyl only of the seminal "Il y a des jours".

From the off we are treated to a heavily-treated male voice with that oft' classic touch of putting ones' hands on the record as it spins and making it slow down or speed up almost at will. This segues into the most heart-achingly beautiful segment as what appears to be a drum-machine (but apparantly isn't) has an emotional lovers tiff with woodwind and piano and, towards the end, a guitar motif so Satie-esque that it is practically beggin' to have the arse sued off it. Imagine a collaboration between Throbbing Gristle and Phillip Glass recorded on 8-track. Wonderful.

Next up is a jaunty accordian and synth Jazz nuanced little filly with sensational low-key bottom-end bass an' scatty drums that reminds one of Univers Zero but the production is so visionary and bleak that maybe Etron Fou is a better example although the musicianship on display here is of a quality that is rarely heard.

3 an' 4 continue in the jazz-band from hell style offering some Jannik Top bass growlin' and what appears to be cows mooing. Go Hellebore !

Demented guitar and a rhythm section that Mark E. Smith would cream himself over follow. Actually a lot of this reminds one of The Fall. A helluva lot better, mind. Eat Y'self Fitter excepted...

No.6 starts with mentally deranged vocals not unlike NWOBHM's Venom at their finest (but a world away from Tygers of Pan Tang). Similar to the I-am-Monkey-King of Vander near the end of Kohntarkosz. A surreal, long piece which absolves itself to become Ultravoxs' Vienna towards the climax only to decide to go to hell with Henry Cow. Complicated.

The vinyl ends on a melancholic, jazz piano-based number with some out of control sax. Stunning throughout.

By all means buy the Musea cd if you come across it on your travels but the original vinyl has the most beautiful hand-made sleeve I have ever seen. Multiple fold-out, original artwork, and a set of prints inside with the outer jacket numbered by hand. I have around 20,000 LP's an' this beauty is stunning !

This music is hard to categorize. It's free-jazz, trad-jazz, zeuhl, new wave, industrial, classical, folk, progressive, electronic blended into one of the finest (one shot or not) records that I ever heard. Top five material. Dangerously relaxing. Do not drive or operate heavy machinery whilst listening. Sublime.

Almost on a par with A-ha.

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