HOUSES OF THE HOLY

Houses of the Holy ' 1973 (3/5) 9 ' Best Song: Rain Song (It's actually great. Too bad nothing else is) Hmmm, Very off-putting, I found. I guess this is the 'real' Led Zeppelin goes to experimentation park ' where the picnics are full of toneless jams and butter pecan pseudo-film score spreads. Some good friends of mine say (I made that up to fill space, I don't have friends) this album is the first one where their work showcases true effort. I personally believe they spaced out on hard drugs, took a year's break to rest on their laurels and enjoy the rich extravagant rockstar life, get all lazy, and then do a record of 'lazy' progressive rock, just like Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Isn't the Rain song a long lost Greg Lake superballad? Chock to the brim with googly choral hooks and wicked-ass guitar lickin's? Wait a second, that's 'Over the Hills and Far Away'. 'Rain Song''s the stupid fucking film score, competent though it may be. I might be underrating it a tad, but no, and I swear my life on this, no album with something as hideous as 'the Crunge' on it could be 'good', with Plant sounding like a halfassed horsethroat Captain Beefheart that makes too much sense to be intriguing, but too little sense to be meaningful. It's their most diverse record to date, I'll give them that much. In all they take on a much more serious tone with the songs. Where's the playful band that wrote that super-duper joke, 'Rape song'? Don't get offended, it's only Led Zeppelin! Hey, Dancing Days contains one (1) (one) (won) tight riff and zero (it's fucking nothing) melodies. I respect their tenacity and devotion for not being perfect. It takes a real man to intentionally sound poor, and know you're poor, but then pretend for the magazines that you're a rock God. I wonder if Page prays to himself? Oh sweet Me, will you please grant me a new car with lots of hookers in the back? Well hell yes I certainly will. You're a devoted follower, me, you will be duly rewarded.