THE BEATLES [AKA: THE WHITE ALBUM]

The Beatles' eponymous album, 'The Beatles', may be the most memorable album of all time! This is where The Beatles decided to throw everything in, including the kitchen sink. With 30 tracks lasting 93 minutes, this is one of the most eclectic albums ever made. I could spend hours writing this review, but since I don't want to do that, I'm going to play a little game where I write only 5 words about each song (and then possibly some more at the end) and give it a rating out of 10.

Back In The U.S.S.R. Aeroplanes ruin this good track! 7/10 a)

Dear Prudence Amazing song with brilliant drumming. 10/10

Glass Onion Clever lyrics about The Beatles. 9/10

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-DaThe most annoying Beatles song. 3/10 b)

Wild Honey Pie Even this is much better! 6/10

The Continuing Story Of Bungalow Bill Hilarious lyrics with good chorus. 9/10

While My Guitar Gently Weeps Eric Clapton's epic guitar solo! 10/10

Happiness Is A Warm GunTime signatures! Very progressive song! 10/10 c)

Martha My Dear Piano based, old-school rocker. 9/10

I'm So Tired Perfect lyrics sung with emotion. 10/10

Blackbird Beautiful acoustic track. Sweet lyrics. 8/10

Piggies Brilliant because it's so creepy! 9/10

Rocky Racoon An old western tale. Superb. 9/10

Don't Pass Me By Another cringeworthy Ringo tune. *sigh* 4/10

Why Don't We Do It In The Road? Twelve-bar blues. Simple yet effective. 8/10

I Will Too lovey-dovey in my opinion. 7/10

Julia Too repetitive. Good lyrics though. 7/10

Birthday Really exciting rocker. Strong drums! 9/10

Yer Blues Heavier blues track, depressing lyrics. 9/10

Mother Nature's Son Intriguing, deep song. Good brass! 8/10

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey Punky rock song. Sometimes repetitive. 8/10

Sexy Sadie These lyrics make no sense! 7/10

Helter Skelter The heaviest Beatles song. Astonishing. 10/10

Long, Long, Long Very quiet and quite strange. 7/10

Revolution 1 Slow version of Revolution. Passable. 6/10

Honey Pie Very old-school! Good melody! 9/10

Savoy Truffle Brilliant song about eating chocolate! 8/10

Cry Baby Cry Interesting lyrics, a little creepy. 8/10

Revolution 9 Underrated musique concrète. Occasionally horrifying! 8/10 d)

Good Night We love you really Ringo. 6/10

Points I'd like to make, which I couldn't flesh out in 5 words.

a) It could have been a really good track but those aeroplanes are really annoying and continue for the entire song!

b)This is one of those tracks we had to sing in school, which is why I don't hold it with any fond memories. Moreover, the bouncy beat and the melody turn this into a desperately cheesy song.

c) Yes, this track is extremely progressive! The lyrics are all proggy, e.g. 'She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand, like a lizard on a window pane'. There's at least 10 time signature changes (including polyrhythms at 'When I hold you...'). There's also at least 4 distinct sections to this music. All this in 2:45 makes this a fantastic prog song.

d) I feel I need to give praise to Revolution 9 as it recieves a lot of negative comments. If you are indeed a prog fan, you should have no trouble listening to this track with an open mind. The White Album would simply not have been the same without it. The highlights of this track for me are the soundclips of someone saying 'The watusi ... The twist' and then almost immediately afterwards 'Take this brother, may it serve you well'. This is The Beatles' longest official track, so your doing yourself no favours if you refuse to listen to it!

It's astonishing to think that just 4 years earlier, these men were releasing songs like Eight Days A Week and Can't Buy Me Love. The early Beatles and the later Beatles seem worlds apart from each other. While not every track on this album is great, there are more than enough good moments to call the White Album a masterpiece. There is such a diverse range of styles and genres mixed in here, that the band will really have you guessing what's around the corner. Astonishing music played by astonishing men.