A FAREWELL TO KINGS

Overall Rating: 7

Best Song: MADRIGAL (you heard me right, bud)

I think there are some trademark Rush-isms about this album that do well to epitomize everything about Rush in one package. Here you get:1 - Great musicianship, no lie; 2 - Cheap pocketbook fantasy lyrics; 3 - A crappy vocalist; and 4 - no real melodies. There ya go, this is every side to the record and then a bit. Oddly enough I really have a thing for the first couple minutes of the title track( A Farewell To Kings? More like A Farewell To Melodies!) you know, before it goes into heavy rock tofu. I could never proclaim these fellers can't play. Oh how they can play! But, me, I never ever cared for how well someone could play, rather, I care more about what said person is actually playing, and sadly, in regard to Rush, I always hate what they're playing.

It's not that it's bad stuff, it's just about as exciting as a sea of wet noodles. The most prominent factor for my anti-Rush sentiments lie in one thing and one thing only. Ya know, even I can get over Geddy Le's singing, and lately, I actually kinda like it a little, but no amount of sheer ignorant acceptance can get me past how these pricks couldn't write a solid melody if it sprouted wings and thrust itself from their complex little nether regions. Based on my assessment of Lifeson's guitar work, the only truly worthwhile Rush album would be an acoustic folk one.

Not that such a thing would ever happened, and we're all drunk on honeydew, so screw it. Xanadu is supposed to be the grand poobah, and Rush par excellence, but to me, it's just another exercise in generic rock riffs and generic rock lyrics with only complexity to do any spicing up, and I hate complexity for complexity's sake, it irritates my bowels.

And then, smack dab in the middle is the most beautiful, tear-inducing, emotionally rich, intelligent, precious ballad ever made ever! Closer To The Heart! No, that's not right, it's a fine proggy pop song, but I can't see anyone crying to this. If you've ever cried to this song out of pure emotional fulfillment, or hell, ever cried to ANY Rush song, I want you to email me on [email protected], mkay? I have to get you people in the pins and slave farms to save humanity.

I think those last lines could work well as a Rush epic. Seee, 'cause they suck at writing lyrics, too! go figure, huh? Let me rustle up something up for ya. "Cinderella Man, doing what you can, they can't understand what it means. Cinderella man, hang on to your plans, try as they might they cannot steal your dreams". Does that rouse you like a cat in heat under an old ruined overpass seeing a dead salmon on the side of the road?! The song itself sounds just like everything else on here, even if the middle jamming is cool. I always thought Lifeson was a real chap with his guitars when he was allowed to let them stretch out. Too bad it all got drowned in cheap, hollow, hard slush.

Madrigal isn't even three minutes long, and, although a tad twee and undeniably silly, it's still the only moment on the entire record that excited me in any way. I plumb don't care one bit for the closing epic, it sounds painfully like everything else they were doing 'round this time, so shove off, heave away boys, heave away! In fact, I hate this epic eleven minute long track. That introduction is inadequate, which is synonymous with Rush. Plus, as bad as Geddy's singing is, his screaming, now that's cancerous and lethally offensive to my ears. Honestly, if it weren't for the top notch playing abilities, I'd be even more negative toward the album, and the band in general, but they ain't no hot shakes, Mahoney. Hey, if you're a Rush fan, jump off a.... Hey, if you're a Rush fan, buy it today!

**

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