ZOOT ALLURES

Essential for anyone. It's not exactly the most progressive in Zappa's collection, but it's a work of genius nonetheless. A straight-up rock record with typical Zappa humor, nailing every idiot and their mother, building off weird road stories, lots of perverse BDSM howls, and a deep sound. No keys. (almost) No special instruments. Just guitar, bass, drums, and Zappa's deepest voice yet (with the occasional section of keys), and what wonderous instruments they are - Zappa and Bozzio have always been masters of their instruments, and Zappa's delivery of the bass parts are quite exceptional.

The album sports three guitar instrumentals - two slow and kind of soft (Black Napkins, Zoot Allures), the other a rocky piece played, by comparison, at breakneck speed (Friendly Little Finger). We get a lot of sex here (Ms. Pinky, a deep, bass-driven track, based on a real sex toy which Zappa saw an ad for in Finland or some Northern country like that where they have a lot of lonely people, apparently; The Torture Never Stops with it's masochistic background yelping and whose lyrics describe a filthy torture chamber, complete wit sinister midget janitor) but also some silliness (Dig "Wonderful Wino" - any relationship to George Carlin's radio station is probably coincidental - and his practice of eating the label right off a wine bottle!).

Of course, there is always time, ALWAYS time, for a piss-take at some idiots; Davey Moire, Zappa's recording engineer (what a lengendary position to fill!) delivers a shrieky-voiced warning to the stupid which informs them of the futility of their situation. And, of course, who could forget about that little musical beast called disco? Obviously not Zappa. The better known anti-disco song, the full-blown parody of "Dancin' Fool" is not quite fully developed on "Disco Boy" - but the familiar riff is already here. Of course, we get some sex in the end - and after all, wasn't he just out trying to get some nookie? - but this is Frank Zappa we're talking about.

The lowest point, which isn't too low either, is "Find Her Finer," the lead single - and it really sounds like it, too. The single was B-sided with the album's title track, but, as with all Zappa recordings, no radio airplay was to be expected.

This recording is necessary for anyone who listens to any rock music. Surely you'll find something in here, be it the epic "Torture," the humorous "Wino," or the charming "Find Her Finer." A juggernaut of guitar rock and then some.