A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A UNIVERSAL WANDERER

2013 was not a positive year for Dr Ball. Having to up root and relocate to Ecclefechan was hard on my wife. There is no advanced Zumba class in Ecclefechan and despite our efforts to make contact with estranged relatives in Dumfries, Pam rarely found herself leaving the grounds of our bungalow (a great departure from our old 6 bed barn conversion in Nether Poppleton) . As a retired medic trying to find tranquility in my old age, her constant pining for Marks and Spencer's Fuller For Longer range was forcing me into an early grave. Indeed, even my nephew was beginning to grate on my nerves, constantly telephoning the landline to play me a less than satisfactory version of the bridal march on the local church organ. My spaniel, Mungo, had it's way with next door's corgi and Pam and I found ourselves with four hideous puppies to care for. It has not been easy finding homes for these ill formed beasts, but never the less Revered Ripley took the runt out of the goodness of his heart and the other three are sat in the bathroom going bonkers over Pam's shower cap.

My only escape from this end of life hell has been retreating to my shed with a flask of Jim Beam to listen to 'A Day in the Life of a Universal Wanderer'. My wife hates it.

GF is excellent medication for all those suffering from the inclination to smash your face into a china tureen.

All the best for 2014, Dr Ball M.D

Please message me if you are interested in a Spaniel- Corgi cross. 2 Male, 1 Bitch. 11 weeks old next Friday. Free to good home.