WE CAN'T DANCE

Like trying to avoid the inevitable breakup with a lover, this album is Genesis' sorry end. You know, everything from the conversation to attempts at intimacy just hurt because you know breaking up is inevitable. And what makes it so you hard is you used to be so in love....

The awful quasi-title track, I Can't Dance, is a clear indicator of how awful this album is. Phil Collins - with the reluctant agreement of Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford - decided it would be clever to release an absurdly minimalist single that had no melody, no rhythm, and an inane lyric repeated over and over. Collins' gag was to see how many people would be tricked into believing it's really a song, sort of like hanging a blank canvas in an art gallery and seeing how many people ponder its "meaning."

Jesus He Knows Me is another great trick: social commentary with a catchy pop hook? No, just a lousy song. The other tracks on this interminable album are equally pointless and uninspired. And sure enough, after this album Collins realized the relationship was washed up and he quit the band. One album later, Genesis broke up for good.

Like breaking up, this album really hurts.