An April Fools' Day story for my PA beloveds

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   The Adventures of the Three Musky Terrors and the 9-hours Late Guy

Once upon a time, in a faraway land ruled by the band hammer of Thor,
there dwelt the Three Musky Terrors, BWOT, Haha, and Petrol. BWOT,
Haha, and Petrol were perfectly average people, only they were gifted
with unbelievable logic abilities, which they used to aid Pangallies,
their home country, and a place they loved very very very much.
Whenever a pest approached, seeking to undermine the security and
safety of the inhabitants of Pangallies (who the Three Musky Terrors
also loved very very very much), they would beat it down with
unbelievable logic about how its actions were immoral, finally
convincing it to leave, hanging its head in shame at its
incomprehensibly evil actions.

Unfortunately, one day, Petrol died. So sad. He always came back to
life eventually, but it took some time, since Petrol renews itself only
very slowly, of course. But, when this story took place, Petrol was
unfortunately not around to aid BWOT and Haha. Thankfully, they would
later find a very useful ally, but more on that later.

Shortly after Petrolâ€™s death, BWOT and Haha checked their problem
scanner, which occasionally contained reports of pests within
Pangallies. On this particular day, there was one report, blaring â€œI AM
OFFENDED,â€ referring to a particular pest who was busy undermining the
most tightly held notions Pangallians held dear. BWOT and Haha would
have none of that, and quickly rushed to beat down the pest with men
packed to the brim with straw (BWOT strawmen contain 45% more straw
than the next leading brand. Remember, if itâ€™s not BWOT, itâ€™s not
bullsh*t).

They were, of course, successful, and the battered pest receded into
the woodwork, never to be heard from again. BWOT and Haha exchanged a
high five, congratulating each other. â€œWe sure showed that childish
prick, didnâ€™t we!â€ 9 hours later, 9-hours late guy reiterated an
argument made by Haha, providing the final exclamation point on a
victorious day of battle, and ensuring once and for all that the pest
was resoundingly defeated.

Thank god logic and reason won out over knee-jerk reactions yet again.