malaise

For the second time in my life a close friend is hell-bent on self-destruction through drugs.When I was at Uni a friend OD'd and died-his parents actually blamed me for not "being by his side to protect him"

Now another friend,a very good old friend is doing the same.He tried to commit suicide last night.

I cant go through this again.....

 

Tony R wrote: I cant go through this again.....

Sorry to hear this Tony, but you seem a very strong character to me. Nothing like this as ever happened to me though, so I can't say that I know what you're going through.

Ive had people in my life go down that road. It isnt pleasant to say the least. Painfull for everyone involved. My sypmpathies Tony

Suicides rarely get sympathy from people who don't know what it is like to dread and despise every waking moment- though if we examine our rage at a loved one's departure, we just might see a little envy and resentment for leaving us here alone, stuck with eveything from which they're now free. Does he actually hate life, or just have some daunting problems? Almost any problem can be fixed...but if he has truly begun to look forward to the release and relief of death, all you can do as a friend is prepare yourself to let him go.

James:

You would have made a great counseling minister!

Tony:

I currently counsel two people who are suicidal.  One is someone who I could call a "friend," though probably not as close as you are with yours.  As suggested by my comment to James, the first step to understanding suicidal thought and action is to understand what it means to live in constant fear, angst, hate, disappointment, betrayal, etc. - whatever feeling or combination of feelings makes a person dread living through each day (or sometimes each moment).  In the case of my friend, she is vritually "electrically charged" every second of every day.  If it were not for her therapist, her best friend and myself, she would almost certainly not still be alive.

The second step in handling suicidal people - especially friends - is very difficult, because it requires a person to virtually split themselves in two.  On the one hand, it is, of course, critical to provide love, support, an "ear," etc.  On the other, one must be able to "remove" oneself enough to avoid any feelings of helplessness - and especially guilt - should the person succeed in taking their own life.  In this regard, the comments of the parents of your other friend are not only unhelpful, they are almost antithetical to understanding and dealing with suicide.

My love, support and prayers are with you, and especially with your friend.

Peace.

Thanks guys.

I'm just going to give it a try and say:

Try Yahshua.

Tony,

Impossible to know what to say. I've seen it in my family and amongst acquaintances, it is frustrating, infuriating and fills you with impotent rage and I don't think any amount of intervention will work unless the person involved finds a reason to de-'junk' their life.

I sympathise with both the plight of your mate and of you. It's crushing for everyone involved. And most of all I'm sorry. It's just very, very hard.

Keep your own faith in humanity alive and maybe it will filter through...

J.

 

Well I saw my daughter's mother today at the hospital. Still suffering from brain cancer and yet fighting for her life. Now, when she isn't having seizures, she's staring blankly off in a vegetative state. She cannot feed herself or use the bathroom facilities. Every now and then she snaps to to give us a brief smile or may even have a few words to say. This is the quality of her life.

Now I am suppose to feel sorry for a perfectly healthy guy who doesn't want to live?

Tony...I like you and I hate to find out you are grieving or that you may lose a close friend, but after seeing Sue today I have to put things into perspective. I think your friend is very selfish for putting his loved ones through this.

Tony R wrote: gdub411 wrote: Well I saw my daughter's mother today at the hospital. Still suffering from brain cancer and yet fighting for her life. Now, when she isn't having seizures, she's staring blankly off in a vegetative state. She cannot feed herself or use the bathroom facilities. Every now and then she snaps to to give us a brief smile or may even have a few words to say. This is the quality of her life. Now I am suppose to feel sorry for a perfectly healthy guy who doesn't want to live? Tony...I like you and I hate to find out you are grieving or that you may lose a close friend, but after seeing Sue today I have to put things into perspective. I think your friend is very selfish for putting his loved ones through this. Yeah,I hear you Greg!

Well I'm glad that went over okay with you.

My daughter has had a rough year. At least she will get her mind off of it next week. She's going to NYC. She'll have fun.