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   This is what happens at the intersection of writing a stupid liberal arts paper and watching retarded tv shows.

50 horribly painful things I would rather watch other than a Tim and Eric creation

The first 25 are truthful, I saved the stupid and untrue/non-existant ones for the backhalf

1) An equivalent duration of 80s MTV videos
2) A porno with all participating members above the age of 50.
3) Two girls 1 cup(at least it's over quicker, plus I know what to expect)
4) A movie headlined by Matthew McConaughey and a chick.
5) Wrestling
6) A subbed anime comedy where all the jokes don't translate coherently.
7) Peter Griffin's knee grimace on loop for 15 minutes.
8) Tron
9) Any movie inspired by a video game except for the 2nd Resident Evil.
10) Ian McKellen in a cross-dressing photoshoot.
11) SNL(not MAD Tv tho)
12) Time lapse footage of a gangrenous infection
13) Any cartoon movie voiced by Queen Latifah.
14) Any "Tyler Perry's" show.
15) Vintage footage of Steve Walsh trying to be "cool."
16) A Darren Aronofsky film.
17) A remake of The Gradute with hip-hop mixes of Simon and Garfunkel.
18) Slow-motion zoomed-in footage of eating potato chips.
19) Donnie make a fool out of himself while drunk.
20) Random weird chicks coming into my room topless for some dumbassed reason.
21) People playing championship poker.
22) Any political pundit news program.
23) Jon Stewart trying to be an actual political figure.
24) Reality TV except for anything on Bravo or Oxygen.
25) Nickelodeon kids shows. (not Disney tho)
26) The emergence of a Quasar.
27) Prognosticated footage of my own death.
28) Myself thinking of stupid sh*t to put in this list.
29) Time lapse of Human liquescence due to decomp.
30) The execution of every member of Gentle Giant.
31) Dildo infomercials. (unfortunately they exist)
32) The rise of the antichrist.
33) A Garfield live action tv show.
34) A Lady in the Water Sequel.
35) My computer melting down.
36) Dereferencing a NULL pointer.
37) Vincent Van Gogh trying to score chicks. (eww messy)
38) Me turning into a normal, everyday guy.
39) A George W. Bush inspirational performance.
40) The return of Iosef Stalin.
41) A vagina emerging where my penis should be.
42) A penis emerging where my vagina should be.
43) Another Nintendo E3 performance like last year's.
44) My life in the third person.
45) A battle between existance and non-being.
46) Chitlin gravy being fed to torture victims. (I'd be talking in no time)
47) My conception.
48) sudo dir /p
49) The emergence of Apple as a home computing leader.
50) Frizzle Funk From Fabulous Fortuitous Functionary Fornication.