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Mikerinos 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 11 2005
Location: Planet Gong
Status: Offline
Points: 8890
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 Topic: Vacuum Cleaners vs. Dream Theater
Posted: December 07 2008 at 02:13 |
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After weeks of study, I have come to the conclusion that Dream Theater sucks to an extremely higher degree than any known vacuum cleaner in existence. These studies were done in the most unbiased situations possible, and the results are conclusive. No vacuum cleaners were harmed in these experiments, however the poor innocent chimpanzees who were forced to listen to Dream Theater are now suffering immense ear and brain damage. We hope they will be feeling better after we increase their dosage of Krautrock.
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Mikerinos
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 11 2005
Location: Planet Gong
Status: Offline
Points: 8890
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 02:20 |
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The result of this poll will be interesting. In the end, Dream THeater will have either: 1) Lost a poll for the first time ever, creating a black hole in Phil Collins toilet, or 2) Some random vacuum company will suggest a vacuum cleaner powered by Dream Theater that will also suck so much a black hole will be instantly formed.
This poll ends: whenever the Mayan calender ends, 2012.
Start pillaging and ultrahedonism ASAP and we can all die in the coolest manner possible at once (apparently jumping into a black hole would make time appear to slow down to almost freezing, which I never understood why or how anyone could understand).
Edited by Mikerinos - December 07 2008 at 02:20
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JayDee
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: September 07 2005
Location: Elysian Fields
Status: Offline
Points: 10063
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 02:25 |
Have a cookie Mike. 
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 07:13 |
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Voted for the Vacuum Cleaner.
Just to balance the vote, ya see? I don't like iniquity.
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The Pessimist
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 13 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3834
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 07:45 |
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Vacuum Cleaners. They sound more pleasant as well as being way more useful...
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg
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Vompatti
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: elsewhere
Status: Offline
Points: 67417
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 08:02 |
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I didn't read the question, so I voted for vacuum cleaners.
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: January 31 2004
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 9669
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 08:14 |
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I did read the question, so I voted for Dream Theater.
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
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Raff
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 29 2005
Location: None
Status: Offline
Points: 24429
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 08:24 |
Vac cleaners, of course - we got a brand new one yesterday  !
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progaeopteryx
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 03 2005
Location: Refrigerator
Status: Offline
Points: 3613
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 08:38 |
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Dream Theater can't seem to do anything with lint or dog cookie crumbs, so I voted for vacuum cleaners.
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The Pessimist
Prog Reviewer
Joined: June 13 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 3834
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 10:11 |
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Damn. I forgot to read the question. Dream Theatre sucks more.
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg
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MovingPictures07
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Beasty Heart
Status: Offline
Points: 32181
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 10:25 |
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Vaccuum cleaners definitely suck more.
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refugee
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: November 20 2006
Location: Greece
Status: Offline
Points: 7026
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 10:27 |
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My vacuum cleaner is not very powerful, so DT it is.
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He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)
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Visitor13
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: February 02 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 4702
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 12:17 |
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It's all well and good to just proclaim to the whole world that Dream Theater sucks more than any vacuum cleaner in existence, but where's the proof? I have so far failed to notice any decrease in dust levels in the room where I keep a DT album.
I therefore conclude that Dream Theater doesn't suck - but this makes it essentially useless.
Moreover, I'm not at all confident if Krautrock can do anything to remedy the situation. My last attempt at boiling some Krautrock albums to serve with meat and champignons ended in disaster. And I did remember to get rid of the rock beforehand, just keeping the Kraut.
The only possible conclusion is that Krautrock is as useless as Dream Theater. Both fail at what they were intended for.
Edited by Visitor13 - December 07 2008 at 12:18
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crimhead
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: October 10 2006
Location: Missouri
Status: Offline
Points: 19236
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 12:28 |
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For sucking power nothing beats a Kirby or a Dyson.
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VanderGraafKommandöh
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 04 2005
Location: Malaria
Status: Offline
Points: 89372
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 12:45 |
But how useful are Dream Theater down your trousers? 
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Dean
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 12:52 |
 Peter wrote:
I did read the question, so I voted for Dream Theater. |
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What?
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horsewithteeth11
Prog Reviewer
Joined: January 09 2008
Location: Kentucky
Status: Offline
Points: 24598
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:27 |
I have to admit this is almost as good as my Scenes from a Memory vs. Love Beach poll. That being said, I voted for vacuum cleaners.
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micky
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: .
Status: Offline
Points: 46838
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:28 |
crimhead wrote:
For sucking power nothing beats a Kirby or a Dyson.
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I'm a fan of the Italian models myself
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The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip
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LinusW
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: September 27 2007
Location: Sweden
Status: Offline
Points: 10665
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 18:35 |
Mikerinos wrote:
After weeks of study, I have come to the conclusion that Dream Theater sucks to an extremely higher degree than any known vacuum cleaner in existence. These studies were done in the most unbiased situations possible, and the results are conclusive. No vacuum cleaners were harmed in these experiments, however the poor innocent chimpanzees who were forced to listen to Dream Theater are now suffering immense ear and brain damage. We hope they will be feeling better after we increase their dosage of Krautrock.
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Just as a follow up: I have seen my vacuum cleaner curled up in a corner, crying, when I played DT a couple of weeks ago. This affected me deeply, and I have now set up an illegal organisation for the purpose of saving vacuum cleaners living in DT-loving households and release them into the wild. Join up today - make the world better. Membership is free.
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rileydog22
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2005
Location: New Jersey
Status: Offline
Points: 8844
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Posted: December 07 2008 at 21:09 |
Mikerinos wrote:
The result of this poll will be interesting. In the end, Dream THeater will have either: 1) Lost a poll for the first time ever, creating a black hole in Phil Collins toilet, or 2) Some random vacuum company will suggest a vacuum cleaner powered by Dream Theater that will also suck so much a black hole will be instantly formed.
This poll ends: whenever the Mayan calender ends, 2012.
Start pillaging and ultrahedonism ASAP and we can all die in the coolest manner possible at once (apparently jumping into a black hole would make time appear to slow down to almost freezing, which I never understood why or how anyone could understand).
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Actually, the way time dilation works is that time would pass at the same rate for you as it always does, but to an outside observer it would appear that time was moving slowly for you. Of course, there's no such thing as an outside observer in this case, as you would have to be well within the event horizon by the time such severe time dilation occurred. Anyways, Dream Theater.
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Vacuum Cleaners vs. Dream Theater
