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Topic ClosedLive together or marry first?
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Poll Question: Cohabitation, shacking, whatever the term, do you approve?
Poll Choice Votes Poll Statistics
26 [50.00%]
10 [19.23%]
16 [30.77%]
This topic is closed, no new votes accepted

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Jim Garten View Drop Down
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Points: 14693 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 10:46
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

sure prior to meeting each other we had take other's for a spin around the block, looked under the hood, checked the lubrication and kicked the spare tyre but beyond that no test drives were necessary


That's why you should never get a life partner from eBay; always make sure you have a full service history & check to see if they've been the subject of a previous write off.

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Negoba View Drop Down
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Points: 5208 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 10:47

Ooh ooh she's a killer machine, she's got everything. Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway starararararar.

Oh wait that was before 1980.Big smile
You are quite a fine person, and I am very fond of you. But you are only quite a little fellow, in a wide world, after all.
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thellama73 View Drop Down
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Points: 8368 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 10:54
Originally posted by Negoba Negoba wrote:

Ooh ooh she's a killer machine, she's got everything. Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway starararararar.

Oh wait that was before 1980.Big smile


When I'm holding your grease gun, it's like a disease, son.

Also before 1980
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Points: 17847 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 10:59

I can't vote because its so individualized issue. I am hispanic, latin american family 100%....99% of the family is Catholic.....Its how I grew up, raised. I did feel that living together was a sin, I believe in marriage 100%. It was very important to me to find a Catholic girl who shared my beliefs.

Many, many challenging circumstances came into my life when I was in college. My wife and I ended up living together for about 2yrs before getting married. My mother and father were not happy.
But I met my wife in high school in 11th grade. She is Catholic...shared my beliefs.
So I can't say if my daughter wanted to live in with her BF I would not let it happen or be upset...since I did it.
 
My wife and I had a Catholic wedding, we both wore white and discussed all this with the priest, who was a family friend...he was fine with it.
We have been married for 25yrs....I don't regret one bit of it.
 
And BTW...my daughter is 22 and lives with her BF....and we are fine with it. As long as she continues to go to school. She is very smart and knows that a kid would be a horrible thing for her at this stage of her life.
 
So for that I can't vote, not right now......I will say a part of me would have liked the marriage before living together scenario. Marriage IS archaic..but I believe in marriage and I think it has fallen from its perch too far. It does not mean today what it meant 30yrs ago.......and that's a shame.
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Dean View Drop Down
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Points: 37575 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 11:00
Originally posted by thellama73 thellama73 wrote:

Originally posted by Negoba Negoba wrote:

Ooh ooh she's a killer machine, she's got everything. Alright, hold tight, I'm a highway starararararar.

Oh wait that was before 1980.Big smile


When I'm holding your grease gun, it's like a disease, son.

Also before 1980
...
And she purrs like a kitten till the tail pipes roar
And if that ain't enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing I got the pink slip daddy
 
Also before 1980 Wink
What?
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The T View Drop Down
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Points: 17493 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 11:22
Culturally, I'm kind of in-between in here... My culture usually favor marriage over living together first... But I always had a very european/western/american liberty and view of things at home, with little link to religion, so I don't really feel that pressure. In the end, whatever solution is best for the couple should be the one implemented. I think it depends on the couple and the circumstances. I'll probably live together first but just because she wants to get out of her parents' home... (she's 31, normal in my culture). Probably we'll get married immediately. 

And yes, marriage is more than a document. 
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Points: 11415 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 12:05
Marry whenever you like but live apart and just visit on the weekends. Much more fun and something to look forward to.Wink
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Points: 7028 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 12:13
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:

sure prior to meeting each other we had take other's for a spin around the block, looked under the hood, checked the lubrication and kicked the spare tyre but beyond that no test drives were necessary


That's why you should never get a life partner from eBay; always make sure you have a full service history & check to see if they've been the subject of a previous write off.
Yes , you can always take the plunge and go for a  Japanese or Russian import. Huge here in NZ. Even if you can't read the service manualsWink
 
To each their own. I was married for 23 years before my wife passed away. As for the concept, personally I believe it is outdated and unnecessary, besides I am an old hippie and think we as a species need to return to spreading the love a bit more. I would not dare say this if I was still married of course and had the risk of my dear wife reading over my shoulderYing YangLOL
<font color=Brown>Music - The Sound Librarian

...As I venture through the slipstream, between the viaducts in your dreams...[/COLOR]
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Points: 9226 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 13:16
any of the two first options is ok with me - I don't agree with the last option though...
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Points: 10841 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 13:37
Neither mariage, nor living together.
Male or female, everyone should stay at home and watching TV alone. And feeling miserable for the long week-end.


Well, in fact, this is what I had to go through for a long time now, and I don't see why anyone should be happy kissing, having sex, sharing meals and dates, while I'm sad and alone !!!!
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Points: 3968 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 16:07
Originally posted by Finnforest Finnforest wrote:

A few things.

Let's include gays/lesbians in this by stating hypothetically that the poll assumes gay marriage is legal.  I realize it is not everywhere, but let's pose the same question for gays and straights by assuming it is.

I'm curious about this.  If you vote cohabitation is good, would you feel the same way if your 19 year old daughter came to you and announced her intentions to move in with boyfriend?

If you vote no way, is it because you feel it is morally wrong, or because you believe the studies that claim people who cohabitate first have a greater chance of breaking up after they marry. 

Wait a minute. I'm not big supporter of G/L marriages (I respect them though), but they're legal in my country. It's not legal in USA ? Well, if there are religious weddings, then it is catholic one (the most prevalent religion here), but I suppose that G/L doesn't take these, but rather take the ones at town halls. I don't really know, just theory.

Anyway Jim, moral differs as countries society and values, traditions differ. Marriage is not important here that much, the important thing is to be happy with the one you're with. If you're not happy, ending the relationship is way more easier. However, this has bad side too, people sometimes don't try hard enough to cure their relationship, as they would in marriage.

There is bad side of marriage as well. People sometimes grow confident enough that the other one won't leave him/her, so they do stuff they wouldn't dare to do in normal relationship, where they're not "confined" to each other.


Each moon has its dark side. I'm supported of non-marrying though.
There's a point where "avant-garde" and "experimental" becomes "terrible" and "pointless,"

   -Andyman1125 on Lulu







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Points: 34550 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 16:17
Originally posted by harmonium.ro harmonium.ro wrote:

JJ is full of wisdom as always

Voted 1st


Embarrassed
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Points: 22989 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 16:19
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Neither mariage, nor living together.
Male or female, everyone should stay at home and watching TV alone. And feeling miserable for the long week-end.


Well, in fact, this is what I had to go through for a long time now, and I don't see why anyone should be happy kissing, having sex, sharing meals and dates, while I'm sad and alone !!!!


But there's always your brother, right?

Tongue
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Points: 24429 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 16:37
Interesting poll! Personally, I would tend to be in favour of option #1, though I am well aware that living together before marriage is not a magic recipe for a solid union. In my particular case, though, we were not really given the choice, since we had to get married for immigration purposes. It would have been the same had Micky decided to move to Italy, even if other countries allow people to immigrate even without being married. Anyway, I am not against marriage per se, and I recognize that it has its benefits - though I don't believe that a piece of paper makes a difference as regards the solidity of a couple. 
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Points: 10841 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 16:52
Originally posted by harmonium.ro harmonium.ro wrote:

Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Neither mariage, nor living together.
Male or female, everyone should stay at home and watching TV alone. And feeling miserable for the long week-end.


Well, in fact, this is what I had to go through for a long time now, and I don't see why anyone should be happy kissing, having sex, sharing meals and dates, while I'm sad and alone !!!!


But there's always your brother, right?

Tongue


The fact that you're talking about my brother right after I'm complaining about the lack of female presence in my life... Dude, that's just plain wrong on SO many levels! DeadDeadDeadDeadDeadDead
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Chris S View Drop Down
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Points: 7028 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 17:04
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Originally posted by harmonium.ro harmonium.ro wrote:

Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Neither mariage, nor living together.
Male or female, everyone should stay at home and watching TV alone. And feeling miserable for the long week-end.


Well, in fact, this is what I had to go through for a long time now, and I don't see why anyone should be happy kissing, having sex, sharing meals and dates, while I'm sad and alone !!!!


But there's always your brother, right?

Tongue


The fact that you're talking about my brother right after I'm complaining about the lack of female presence in my life... Dude, that's just plain wrong on SO many levels! DeadDeadDeadDeadDeadDead

You could try the cliche film scenario of striking up a conversation in the drug store while you are stocking up on more pretzels for your TV armchair entertainment. You never know.........
<font color=Brown>Music - The Sound Librarian

...As I venture through the slipstream, between the viaducts in your dreams...[/COLOR]
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Points: 1313 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 17:13
Marriage is an anachronistic element in our society so I voted the third.
Mesmo a tristeza da gente era mais bela
E além disso se via da janela
Um cantinho de céu e o Redentor

- Antônio Carlos Jobim, Toquinho & Vinícius de Moraes - Carta ao Tom 74
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Points: 4335 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 19:35
the last option


Time always wins.
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Points: 4900 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 01 2010 at 19:59
Marriage means absolutely nothing to me. So, why would I speak in its favor. 

You know my answer. Wink
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Points: 29630 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: October 02 2010 at 06:46
Originally posted by ExittheLemming ExittheLemming wrote:

Marry whenever you like but live apart and just visit on the weekends. Much more fun and something to look forward to.Wink

And never have sex because abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. LOL
Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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