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rileydog22
Forum Senior Member Joined: August 24 2005 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 8844 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 22:20 | ||
Pffffftt... Wavefunctions are SO easy. I was manipulating the Schrodinger equation like that when I was 10 years old. |
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Dim
Prog Reviewer Joined: April 17 2007 Location: Austin TX Status: Offline Points: 6890 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 22:43 | ||
If theyre mad at me, I read it.
If they're not, I couldnt care less
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Peter
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 23:28 | ||
Oh yeah, Mr Smarty pants?
Well I hold these truths to be self-evident: that all progholes are created equal, that they are endowed by Maani with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of progginess. That to secure these rights, forum moderators are instituted among men, Dutch hermaphrodites and progholes, deriving their just powers from the consent of the moderated. That whenever any form of moderation becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the progholes to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new moderation, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its mellotrons in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prog Chick, indeed, will dictate that categories and sub-genres long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that progholes are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forums to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off Tony R and his evil cadre of opressors Jim, Bob, Guigo and THE PROGTOLOGIST, and to provide new guards of Magog for their future security. --
Such has been the patient sufferance of these progholes; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former systems of government. The history of Prog Archives is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over these our forums. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid (if uncaring) world. Tony has refused his assent to laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the Progressive good. Tony has forbidden his governors to pass laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them. Tony has refused to pass other laws for the accommodation of large districts of progholes, unless those dweebs would relinquish the right of representation in the legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only. Tony has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures, and to mincingly model frilly women's undergarments for their unbelieving eyes. Tony has locked and/or deleted representative threads repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people. Tony has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the legislative powers, incapable of annihilation, have returned to the pimpled masses at large for their exercise; the forum remaining in the meantime exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within. Tony has endeavored to prevent the quivering members of these forums; for that purpose obstructing the laws for naturalization of Bowie fans; refusing to pass others to encourage their migration hither, and raising the conditions of new appropriations of their lagers and ales. Terrible Tony has obstructed the administration of justice, by refusing his assent to laws for establishing judiciary powers. Tony has made judges dependent on his will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their payola and graft. Tony has errected (ohh! Er! I SAY!) a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of peevish, unsmiling metalheads to harass our fey, wan, proggy people, and eat out their substance. Tony has kept among us, in times of peace, standing armies of moronic moderators without the consent of our One True King Peter. Tony has affected to render the moderators independent of and superior to civility and good Peter's power. Tony has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our remembrance of all things prog, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his assent to their acts of pretended "progression":
TONY has abdicated government here, by declaring us out of his protection and waging war against us. He has plundered our seas, ravaged our coasts, leered most unseemly at (all three of) our womenfolk, burned our towns, eaten all the pies, and destroyed the lives of our people. He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign metalheads to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the head of a civilized prog forum. He has constrained our fellow citizens taken captive on the high seas to bear arms against their country, to become the executioners of their friends and brethren, or to fall themselves by their hands, and to listen unceasingly to Dreame Theatere. He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavored to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless and corpulent Belgian beurocrats, whose known rule of warfare, is undistinguished destruction of all ages, ravishing of all and sundry sexes and untoward, perfidious twiddling of the said knobs of Mellotron. In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for redress in the most humble terms: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A hulking Bolton bully, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free progholian people. Nor have we been wanting in attention to our Prog Metal brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their lummox of a leather-clad leader to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and signing on here. We have appealed to their naive justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our (supposed) common kindred to progressive music to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, enemies in war, in peace (grudging) friends.
We, therefore, the representatives of the Free Progholes of King Peter, in General Congress, assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world (Max? Ron? Maani?) for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people of these forums, solemnly publish and declare, that these Prog archives Forums are, and of right ought to be free and independent; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the Tony R Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of "Great" Tony, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent (if rather neurotic, obsessive and long-windedly argumentive) progholes, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, drink all the beer, establish commerce, post girly pictures, and to do all other acts and things which incontinent, flatulent reprobates may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of good King Peter, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes, our Pallas CDs, our Greg lake posters, and our sacred honor. So there! Nya nya nya! Edited by Peter - September 14 2007 at 08:28 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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rileydog22
Forum Senior Member Joined: August 24 2005 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 8844 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 23:31 | ||
Anybody who goes through the Declaration of Independence and replaces a few words per sentence with references to a Prog-rock forum really has too much time on their hands. I assume you had today off, Peter? |
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Peter
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 23:49 | ||
Thanks for laughing.
No, no day off, just trying to amuse.
But why bother, hey, my unsmiling friend?
Well, at least I had a bit of fum with it, anyway.... goodnight now! Edited by Peter - September 13 2007 at 23:50 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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rileydog22
Forum Senior Member Joined: August 24 2005 Location: New Jersey Status: Offline Points: 8844 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 23:51 | ||
I can't say I read very much of your post. Maybe it was "fummy," maybe not. Edited by rileydog22 - September 13 2007 at 23:53 |
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KoS
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 17 2005 Location: Los Angeles Status: Offline Points: 16310 |
Posted: September 13 2007 at 23:53 | ||
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cuncuna
Forum Senior Member Joined: March 29 2005 Location: Chile Status: Offline Points: 4318 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 00:07 | ||
I can always see comedy values in your posts, but this time, the reference is a bit too much for me. I'm not familiar with the original text at all, so the joke is impossible for me to decode. But I salute your dedication. I just wish I could be 0,1% as funny. |
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¡Beware of the Bee!
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moreitsythanyou
Forum Senior Member VIP Member Joined: April 23 2006 Location: NYC Status: Offline Points: 11682 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 00:22 | ||
American History+Prog+Jokes=Something worth reading.
Nice job
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<font color=white>butts, lol[/COLOR]
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 03:29 | ||
Why? It's much more fun when somebody quotes a passage with a spelling mistake Excellent post, by the way |
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator Retired Admin & Razor Guru Joined: February 02 2004 Location: South England Status: Offline Points: 14693 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 03:41 | ||
Personally, I want Tony to answer each and every one of the charges put to him with particular reference to those involving mellotron knob twiddling, trial by plus-size lingerie models, and eating all the pies. Peter - Splendid job! Your next task should you choose to accept it: The Constitution Of ProgArchives. |
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012 |
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The Whistler
Prog Reviewer Joined: August 30 2006 Location: LA, CA Status: Offline Points: 7113 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 03:55 | ||
Whoah, whoah, whoah...there are ABBA fans here?
Screw this, I'm out.
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"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson
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Peter
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 08:20 | ||
Yes -- Tony and his evil cohorts have a LOT to answer for!
My only regret is that I did not keep the original words I replaced (with a line through them), next to the new words. This would have heightened the humour -- for example, "Providence" in the original became "Prog Chick," "native justice" became "naive justice," and "guards" became "Guards of Magog" (as in Supper's Ready).
Thanks for the compliments, & glad that some found it "fummy" -- once I got going on it, I couldn't stop!
Well, now I've read the entire US Declaration of Independence, anyway.... Edited by Peter - September 14 2007 at 08:26 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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Tony R
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin Joined: July 16 2004 Location: UK Status: Offline Points: 11979 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 08:25 | ||
Poor old Ivan will be scything through the Peruvian Constitution to regain his crown as ProgArchives most comprehensive and bluest responder to posts... |
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Peter
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 09:06 | ||
Well, Tony, here's a link to my inspiring official "Peter for Prog Uberfuhrer" campaign theme, and then some scenes from the party we rebels had after I
Listen and tremble in fear -- your days of pampered privilege are numbered!
Edited by Peter - September 15 2007 at 22:31 |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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The T
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: October 16 2006 Location: FL, USA Status: Offline Points: 17493 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 14:40 | ||
Spiders... I'm scared of them... |
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Melomaniac
Prog Reviewer Joined: May 07 2006 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 4088 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 14:41 | ||
I somehow always knew you were Ronald Weasley in disguise !
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"One likes to believe in the freedom of Music" - Neil Peart, The Spirit of Radio
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The T
Special Collaborator Honorary Collaborator Joined: October 16 2006 Location: FL, USA Status: Offline Points: 17493 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 14:44 | ||
Yes... whenever I say wingardium leviosa, something just doesn't come up....
I just myself.... Edited by The T - September 14 2007 at 14:47 |
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Shakespeare
Forum Senior Member Joined: July 18 2006 Status: Offline Points: 7744 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 22:23 | ||
I'm a long reply virgin.
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stonebeard
Forum Senior Member Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
Posted: September 14 2007 at 22:34 | ||
Get into a discussion about God with Ivan. He'll pop your long reply cherry.
That sounds so wrong. |
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