Something incredible happened in my life

I can't say that I totally understand what it is that you have accomplished, but I am happy for you and think it's very brave of you to have shared your experience. 

moshkito wrote: Hi, I am, and have been for many years, an avid reader of a lot of things that lead to the areas that you mention and help one's inner constitution. However, I had to work 40/50 hours or more weekly to support myself and be able to spend more time in the areas that I love so much ...  I was born into a time of movies, classical music and theater, and then rock music showed up! My tendencies tend towards what a lot of people consider "weird" and "strange" because it is not of the cookie cutter variety and definitely not of the top ten variety of diet pills that you go buy in the supermarket! To this end, when I started reading Carlos Castaneda, I realized quite quickly that it was not about all the dope visuals that were being described ... it was about the perception of it all, and most people got stuck in the drug fueled ideas and visions, and then a few years later ... they got upset when don Juan said to Carlos when he asked if drugs were needed ... "of course not you idiot, but we had to give you something to get you to shut up and see something else!". A bit blunt, but to the point and I had no ideas about it, and felt that it was an important lesson ... it was at that time that I was trying out a little of the colorful stuff, but I was not a grass smoker (never have been!) and was not interested in the harder stuff whatsoever. The psychedelics were attractive because I was very well read on a lot of literature going all the way back to Levi, Crowley, Fortune, Rampa, Gurdjieff, and many others, and they all showed a sort of visual thing that everyone seemed to be afraid of around me ... tripping on the music in the West Coast (before the big place went out in SF), was cool, but I found out realy quick that it was mindless and for the most part many of these folks were simply trying to hide from their daily grind ... and I knew from the visualizations that it should not be mindless and HAD TO CONNECT to the outer person ... not escape from it. That I was into the visual arts, like theater and film, was no surprise. I saw in them an outlet for a lot of imaginary stuff and how it was interpreted and it is in these things that I have dedicated my efforts, though these days I mostly write ... with one exception ... I have in the past couple of years developed an uncanny ability to write a "novel" in my half/dream state and have finished many of them, although I have not (and likely will not do so!) write any of them down in reality. The continuity was awesome ... for example ... when things only got so far on one night, the next night I could continue from that exact moment ... and this taught me something about the writing thing when you can't come up with anything ... and the story moves on like there was no break. Nothing missing in the "set" (for example) or the conversation. No "lag" in the story which showed that you continued it three months later and the feeling is now different. I have been writing a massive document on these things, and am not in a condition to describe it, or explain it YET ... but it is about developing some of these moments into something valuable and useful ... WITHIN AN ARTISTIC ATMOSPHERE.  Many folks here have seen me describe, non stop, details having to do with improvisation and other moments, many of which are defined through a lot of my inner "spiritual" studies. Some of these details are scary for many, specially musicians that have an idea that all music is dependent on the notes ... not anything else ... doesn't say much about how music was created, does it ... but these same folks don't consider that music ... they consider that child-less-ness. You have to know this and that and this and that ... and in the end, the truth is ... you REALLY DON'T ... you just have to experience it, as you describe ... and the sad fact is that many folks here are not willing to do so, based on their cozy situations ... I'm not finger pointing ... I would rather use that finger with paints on a canvas, see? So a comment here is not necessary about anyone.

I don't get much of your post, but thank you for quoting Castaneda & Gurdjeff, among others, two major influences on my bookish spiritual path.
I've been fascinated by Castaneda for decades, more recently Gurdjeff teachings were another major shock. Also the discovery of the Janov's primal therapy was amazing and i really thought that it was a sign and that i found the answer.
But eventually, i was practically impossible for me to follow the primal therapy.

Now i understand that anyway this was a dead-end as the spiritual dimension is missing.

But the primal therapy helped me to understand why official freudian psychology doesn't work as it's only trying to suppress the symptoms and is unable to act on the cause which is on the emotional level.
In the primal optic, only an emotional catharsis (to make it short) can free you from trauma that caused the neurosis we all suffer from.

A fascinating theory and a very accurate vision of the neurosis mechanism, but IMO, in no way it can help you to un-identify yourself to the body (the root cause of all other identifications such as genre, race, country...), mind & emotions. I don't even talk about material possessions.

All things to which we're identify and that will be lost sooner or later.
Thus a feeling of unsecurity and a repressed fear of death in our culture.

Thank you for reading me, it's sunny outside, i'm going back to the garden to enjoy the state of Samadhi

Edited by oliverstoned - November 20 2020 at 03:26

Hi Sean! Good to hear fom you!! I hope you're well?

I must correct what you said. I indeed coming from an upper middle-class intellectual "milieu" and i've the chance that my parents have some financial means (without being very rich) but younger i was far to be spoiled compared to my mates and my parents never paid a decent bike for example. I try to make it on my own and me & my partner have very low incomes and we've always been trough financial troubles because we don't manage our money and because i've no ambition, also i didn't find my way professionaly. I'm in the IT field, but i dont like that and i must admit i'm not very good in my job. I'm lazy, too.
Talking money, i can even tell you that we've financial debts, so don't think my everyday life is so easy. I don't complain, i can only blame myself.
But i'm lucky, despite that, i inform you that we eventually managed to buy a kind of flat/house three years ago (in Bonnelles, not far from Cernay-la ville, you remember), with the help of our parents but we pay them back every month and we've many years left to pay. I know a lot of much younger people (let's say 25) who never rent their flat and which parents paid them cash a better house than mine, and i don't talk about rich families.
So i'me aware that i'm lucky but my material life is not easy. We've an old and cheap car (i don't care at all), we never have a penny to go on vacancies and so on.
But i'm very happy with my material life, i eat organic, i still have my hifi system working, i buy a CD from time to time and i live in a nice region, i created my tiny garden in my new place.

The spiritual quest is for everybody anyway, the poor like the rich.
There's no relationship, as, anyway, life becomes a delight in the state of Samadhi, whatever the situation (only extreme life situations like war, where survival is really a concern would make spiritual practice difficult).


I always loved your expressions, such as this "tutti frutti"

Edited by oliverstoned - November 20 2020 at 04:39

progaardvark wrote: I can't say that I totally understand what it is that you have accomplished, but I am happy for you and think it's very brave of you to have shared your experience.  Perhaps you experienced an expansion of your consciousness?

Yes an expansion.
Thank you for your kind words, please read my previous post

Edited by oliverstoned - November 20 2020 at 05:20

I can't resist to post another Sadghuru link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrrWMseT8VY

Edited by oliverstoned - November 20 2020 at 05:25

I totally agree with you.

Well, it's easy for me to talk. I've been interconnected since 1969. At least that's what my friends and family have told me. ;)

oliverstoned wrote: ... don't get much of your post, but thank you for quoting Castaneda & Gurdjeff, among others, two major influences on my bookish spiritual path. ...

HI Mick, thanks for your comment
About drugs :"Oh I loved them myself..they are an escape from reality.. "
Depends on which ones...
The late Dr Janov has a very interesting view on that:
He used to say that people using cannabis don't try to escape from reality but try to feel alive, to feel real. Because of our neurosis (that we're all suffering from), we can't feel real. So he says that to a certain extent, cannabis is good for the neurotic person because it allows him to feel something...of course it has its downsides but he doesn't think that cannabis consumption is to escape from reality.

According to Janov, hard drugs such as heroin are used to kill "primal" suffering on another hand just like pain-killers for physical suffering.





Edited by oliverstoned - November 20 2020 at 23:54

Sean Trane wrote: oliverstoned wrote: Hi Sean! Good to hear fom you!! I hope you're well? The spiritual quest is for everybody anyway, the poor like the rich. There's no relationship, as, anyway, life becomes a delight in the state of Samadhi, whatever the situation (only extreme life situations like war, where survival is really a concern would make spiritual practice difficult). I always loved your expressions, such as this "tutti frutti" Doing OK, despite the lockdown driving me nuts (both in Bel and NL) and the GF's house renovation project going wrong (her fault at 80%) taking a lot of energy out of me. Well as for your "spiritual quests", you know that as an atheist, I don't care for such philosophies, but I prefer that direction than churches and doctrines.

Edited by rogerthat - November 21 2020 at 01:52