PA Songwriters'/Composers' Association

Anyway I'm not really sure what you exactly mean with your post, but I understand it should have a lonely feel, vulnerable- I could add the words intimate and melancholy to it with this song. Hope it helps you, here's the link: https://soundcloud.com/pascal-dool/the-sun-ate/s-s3soH

FYI: The piano in the first little segment is through-composed and after the repetition with added drum and bass it's mostly improvised around chords (the rest - with exception of the vocals - is also mostly improvised).

Wondrous

Ever big

Eternal energy

Surrounded by colourless black

Sublime

Beautiful blonde

Frightening

If it comes so near

Dangerous

Looking scary

Overwhelm me

When you grow

When I recorded the vocals there was a through composed melody which is about the same throughout these 3 verses. But maybe that's more in my head and isn't easy to recognise when you hear it for the first time as a listener. By the way: do you think it's fine for a studio recording or should it be played more neatly? Not sure if the little mistakes can be seen as interesting or annoying.

Also I have a certain way of "interpreting" my lyrics and making a melody for it. Read them through carefully and then say them out loud or in your head just how you want to say it (naturally) with its intonation. Then note in your head how the sentence flows and the varying pitch you use to stress certain words and syllables and make a melody with those high and low points, so that the lyrics will suit the melody perfectly. This gives the effect that you can't read the lyrics without singing them in your head which anyone probably has had before.

Oh yeah also use notes which aren't played in the accompinent a lot (avoid I and V mostly). Adds colour but is also harder to sing if you haven't got your melody in your click track and it can be harder to define when hearing and harder to remember.