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presdoug View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:55
Originally posted by tuxon tuxon wrote:

Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

Sorry if i had been inappropriate in my joke. I changed it.
 
You had to change didn't you.
 
You should leave things as they are, that's how God intended it.
If anything, i should have realised that the first version of my joke would get me into hot water pretty quickly, living in the world as it is in 2012!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 21:38

I think in a thread like this there's an unspoken taste amnesty anyway. A "worst joke" thread sort of needs people to be free to say horrible/outrageous things. You wouldn't see me or other participants dropping some of this in other places around the forum. There was that whole thing earlier where I made a joke referencing rape and Dean growled at me and I defended it and no else cared enough to engage. If I had turned up in General Discussion making funnies about rape, I'm fairly sure there'd be a firestorm and rightly so.

 
And now we resume our scheduled broadcasting:
 
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 21:43
What do Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 21:47
I can't believe this place doesn't have the emoticon of the little guy laughing so hard he's hitting the floor.
 
A cannibal is sitting on the toilet crying. His roommate knocks on the door and asks him what the problem is.
"I just dumped my girlfriend" he sobs.


Edited by Textbook - May 31 2012 at 21:51
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 22:25
I notice that the person who started this thread only made one more post and then apparently left the forum, never to return, unable to face the monster they unwittingly created. Good job team.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 23:21
Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

Originally posted by tuxon tuxon wrote:

Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

Sorry if i had been inappropriate in my joke. I changed it.
 
You had to change didn't you.
 
You should leave things as they are, that's how God intended it.
If anything, i should have realised that the first version of my joke would get me into hot water pretty quickly, living in the world as it is in 2012!

I didn't think the original one was offensive, but the edited version is funnier, anyway.  The wordplay is more effective.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 00:00
What was George W Bush's stated position on Roe vs Wade?

He said he really didn't care how they evacuated New Orleans.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 04:42
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

I think in a thread like this there's an unspoken taste amnesty anyway.

Nope. No need - break forum rules and we do something; don't and we don't.
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

 
A "worst joke" thread sort of needs people to be free to say horrible/outrageous things.
It "sort of" doesn't - the last Bad Joke thread ran for some 600 posts and didn't need people to say horrible/outrageous things - sure there were some pretty gross jokes in there but no-one felt the need to out-gross anyone else or set out  with the deliberate intention of being offensive or shocking. Shock humour can be very good (BowdownJerry Sadowitz ) or it can be all right I suppose if you like that kind of thing (Jimmy Carr, Frankie Boyle) or it can be really poor and utterly boring (Jim Davidson, Roy "Chubby" Brown) ... or it can be like a 3 year-old who's just learnt a rude word and keeps repeating it because it made the grown-ups laugh (ie funny once and only if the brat is closely related to you).
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

 You wouldn't see me or other participants dropping some of this in other places around the forum.
Yippity-doo.
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

There was that whole thing earlier where I made a joke referencing rape and Dean growled at me and I defended it and no else cared enough to engage. If I had turned up in General Discussion making funnies about rape, I'm fairly sure there'd be a firestorm and rightly so.
I merely said "Freedom's a peach. When rape gets funny it's time to evacuate planet earth." - one pun, one sarcastic prog-reference and nary a growl in sight. Your "defence" was just verbal noise and not worth replying to. Somehow you managed to construe my two sentence post into a whole prudish argument that never happened. I was responding to the exchange between Ian and Iain.
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

I notice that the person who started this thread only made one more post and then apparently left the forum, never to return, unable to face the monster they unwittingly created. Good job team.
I think you are taking credit where none is due - Rob has already explained why his 17 year old sister hasn't returned to the forum (or this thread, which ever you prefer). I will admit that I thought (mark that thought, not said) that rape jokes were not quite what she had in mind when starting this thread, I also didn't think that telling rape jokes to a 17 year old school girl was a particularly appropriate thing to do - but since at least three teachers, (who have more day-to-day dealings with teenagers and minors than I ever will), have posted in this thread without commenting on that I assume that I'm probably a little out of touch with what is and is not acceptable.


Edited by Dean - June 01 2012 at 04:44
What?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 05:08
Which positional (American) football players are most favoured by gay men?
 
.....Tight ends.
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With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 05:42

I had no idea that she was Rob's 17 year old sister. I don't read most of the personal stuff here. Message boards are usually talking heads to me, I can't be bothered with everybody's back stories. Must be why I'm so personable and charming online. Calling my "defence" verbal noise, is, I believe, completely unfair. I think it's quite a sensible and eloquent explanation. But if you don't think so, you don't think so.

I'm not even telling the most offensive jokes I know- the original rape joke was in response to someone, I forget who, calling a joke edgy and I was saying, no, not really, this is more like it. I'd post an example of some of the strongest offensive material I know, except I don't think it would be right to do it on this forum without spoiler tags so only people who want to would be afflicted.

Anyway, I blame Nirvana and that Rape Me song. Hearing that at 12 years old was a bit strange.
 
Back to the terrible jokes.
 
 
Why do Jewish women like their men circumcised?

Because nothing excites them more than 20% off.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 12:21
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

What was George W Bush's stated position on Roe vs Wade?

He said he really didn't care how they evacuated New Orleans.
 
this joke sucks, so I had to abort it. do carry on.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 13:57
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

 
Why do Jewish women like their men circumcised?

Because nothing excites them more than 20% off.


Strangely, I don't know a lot of Jewish jokes about Goyim.
I guess gentile women and men don't care for sales in big stores, that's it, eh?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 01 2012 at 20:23
Originally posted by CPicard CPicard wrote:

Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

 
Why do Jewish women like their men circumcised?

Because nothing excites them more than 20% off.


Strangely, I don't know a lot of Jewish jokes about Goyim.
I guess gentile women and men don't care for sales in big stores, that's it, eh?



Q. Why do goyim exist?
A. Somebody has to buy retail.


"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 02 2012 at 21:21
What do a piece of toilet paper, and the USS Enterprise have in common?

They both circle around Uranus looking for Klingons.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2012 at 06:57
A drum and a cymbal jump off a cliff
BOOM TISH
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2012 at 15:53
Textbook punches ACR in the face.
CRACK OUCH
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2012 at 15:54
inb4 "there goes Textbook's wrist again"
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 04 2012 at 18:00
ACR kicks Textbook in the goollies

DOING OOOOOH
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2012 at 04:49
@ACR and Textbook: get a room.

"Knock knock!
 - Who's there?
 - You didn't let me finish my song! Knock-knock-knocking on heaven's dooor..."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 05 2012 at 06:25

A man is ataggering home blind drunk in the early hours. A policeman stops him - 'Ello, ello ello, and where do you think you're off to??. The man slurs 'I'll have you know offisher, that ' am on my way to a lecture about the evilsh of drink and its negative impact on relayionships.' The policeman replies 'Don't be ridiculous, who'd give a lecture on that at this time if night??' The man replies 'My bloody wife!!'

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