Tell me the worst joke you know:)
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Topic: Tell me the worst joke you know:)
Posted By: AnnaDanielle
Subject: Tell me the worst joke you know:)
Date Posted: April 27 2012 at 19:27
Just looking for some entertainment:) So amuse me...
------------- I would never cheat in a relationship...
That would require TWO people finding me attractive.
..I can barely find one.
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Replies:
Posted By: johnobvious
Date Posted: April 27 2012 at 20:09
I have a great dirty joke.
The boy fell in the mud
------------- Biggles was in rehab last Saturday
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Posted By: johnobvious
Date Posted: April 27 2012 at 20:10
What do you call a bird that gets run over by a lawn mower?
Shredded Tweet
------------- Biggles was in rehab last Saturday
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Posted By: Ambient Hurricanes
Date Posted: April 27 2012 at 20:24
A man is driving home from work at 5 PM. He turns on his local rock radio station, and, as he is a big prog fan, he is happy to hear the the first song is The Spirit of Radio by Rush. After this song is over, the next song comes on. It's Tom Sawyer, and once again the man is quite pleased. But the next song the station plays is Closer to the Heart, and then 2112, and then Fly By Night. By this time, the man is somewhat confused, so he calls in to the radio station. He says, "Look, why are you only playing Rush songs? I love Rush, but I want to hear some other bands, too." The guy at the station replies, "Of course we have to play Rush songs. Don't you know? It's Rush hour."
Is that terrible enough for you?
------------- I love dogs, I've always loved dogs
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Posted By: colorofmoney91
Date Posted: April 27 2012 at 21:36
Hello, my name is Alan. My existence is a joke.
------------- http://hanashukketsu.bandcamp.com" rel="nofollow - Hanashukketsu
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:08
A person walks into a bar.
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:21
This was a dirty joke. I cleaned it up for you.
Sherlock Holmes wanted to brighten up the entrance to his flat. He decided to put a couple of citrus plants on either side of the door. Watson, on seeing this asked why had Holmes picked this particular flora. He replied "My dear chap, It's a lemon entry"
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: PyramidMeetsTheEye
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:25
family guy is funny
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:38
The book of Mormon. Yes, it really is worse than the Bible. I sure hope someone brings that stuff about how black skinned people are in league with Satan up with Romney on the campaign trail.
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:53
^ But skinned people aren't black.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 04:55
I am proud to have played a part in such a wonderful addition to this thread.
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Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 06:27
johnobvious wrote:
What do you call a bird that gets run over by a lawn mower?
Shredded Tweet
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The poor little thing!
/Vicar Of Dibley ref FTW
------------- "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 06:38
This is the worst joke i have heard recently
What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 07:50
Snow Dog: What the hell is that doing here? That was awesome, really made me laugh. I have always loved humour that subverts expectations. If you think that's shock/inappropriate humour, try this baby on, which probably really does belong here: What did the blind, deaf, quadraplegic Downs Syndrome boy with cancer get at Christmas?
Raped.
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 07:55
^I have to admit i smirked and supressed a laugh.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: ExittheLemming
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 07:55
^ you are truly a credit to the site, no contest. Traffic spikes engendered by your posts must make Max all gooey inside
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 07:56
ExittheLemming wrote:
^ you are truly a credit to the site, no contest. Traffic spikes engendered by your posts must make Max all gooey inside
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Me?
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: ExittheLemming
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 07:59
^Nah, Textbook's crass, dumb and brain dead joke
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 08:01
ExittheLemming wrote:
^Nah, Textbook's crass, dumb and brain dead joke
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That is the problem with edgy humour. There is a risk of causing offence. But being offensive is fine. Somebody is always offended by something.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: ExittheLemming
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 08:04
Yep agreed, freedom of speech is only cited by those who have to defend the indefensible
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 18:08
Freedom's a peach. When rape gets funny it's time to evacuate planet earth.
------------- What?
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 28 2012 at 19:53
^It was funny. In a dark sick way. It.s like feeling guilty laughing. A strange but strangely gratifying and guilt edged experience.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 29 2012 at 04:42
Rape isn't funny. Catch me laughing at an actual instance of rape. What's going on in that joke is simply an absurd compounding of terrible things- you could say "shot by his parents" and get more or less the same result, but again that wouldn't imply that the joke teller thinks people being shot by their parents is funny. It's also an expectations subverting joke, in that you imagine his Christmas present will have something to do with his condition, but it doesn't, and not only that but it's not a Christmas present at all. At no point in this process does "rape is inherently amusing" go through anyone's head. Using rape in a joke is like shooting people in video games. There's no actual people being shot, there's no actual rape being made light of. This is distinct from specifically mocking an actual rape victim about their rape. In the joke I told I'm referring to the concept of rape and if it reminds people who've been raped of their trauma and they get offended, well why don't we stop referring to cancer or war or hell, death altogether, because it might upset people. But if I said "Hey this specific person, here's their name, they got raped and I'm gonna make jokes about it", it could be well executed from a comedy perspective but it really isn't gonna fly from a moral perspective unless that person is Hitler or something similar and there might be some karmic justification for it. See the infamous An Hero meme for an example of what I'm talking about. An Hero is funny as a concept and it would've been fine to execute it in a fictional context, but it was not cool at all when done to a person in real life.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 29 2012 at 17:20
Anyhoo, what never fits no matter what size it is? A dead epileptic.
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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: April 29 2012 at 20:46
2 elephants fall off a cliff
BOOM! BOOM!
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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: April 29 2012 at 21:09
What did the man say when the steamroller ran over his cat?
He didn't say anything, he just stood there with a long puss.
------------- My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 29 2012 at 22:14
How do you starve a (insert ethnicity of choice)? Hide his food stamps in his work boots.
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Posted By: ColonelClaypool
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:33
A man walks into a bar. Ouch.
A kangaroo, a rabbi and an astronaut walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of joke?"
------------- With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince.
With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with.
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:39
Ambient Hurricanes wrote:
A man is driving home from work at 5 PM. He turns on his local rock radio station, and, as he is a big prog fan, he is happy to hear the the first song is The Spirit of Radio by Rush. After this song is over, the next song comes on. It's Tom Sawyer, and once again the man is quite pleased. But the next song the station plays is Closer to the Heart, and then 2112, and then Fly By Night. By this time, the man is somewhat confused, so he calls in to the radio station. He says, "Look, why are you only playing Rush songs? I love Rush, but I want to hear some other bands, too." The guy at the station replies, "Of course we have to play Rush songs. Don't you know? It's Rush hour."
Is that terrible enough for you? |
This used to be real thing in Columbus, OH. I have not listened to the radio since that stopped.
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:47
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill.
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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:54
Two of the funniest jokes I know are too tasteless to share here. Frustrating.
------------- My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 08:08
HolyMoly wrote:
Two of the funniest jokes I know are too tasteless to share here. Frustrating.
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NOTHING IS TOO TASTELESS DO IT NOW OR I'LL GET ANGRY FOR YOU NOT SHARING THEM
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 08:29
Smurph wrote:
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill. |
I like the blood and guts or the April Fool has no impact.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:40
Snow Dog wrote:
Smurph wrote:
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill. |
I like the blood and guts or the April Fool has no impact. |
I'm saying the blood and guts are cool still. Like if he threw the guts on the wall. I don't get why it had to be the mother's face.
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:42
^Why not?
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:52
^Don't know actually it is all funny either way. I was just being critical of my own joke before anyone else could get to it.
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Posted By: TheGazzardian
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 10:20
If you've got some time, this joke is pretty terrible/awesome:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/" rel="nofollow - http://longestjokeintheworld.com/
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Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 10:38
AnnaDanielle wrote:
Just looking for some entertainment:) So amuse me... |
What do you mean by "the worst joke"? Is it "worst" as in "this is so lame we just can't help laughing and feel idiot about it" or as in "this is so gross we just can't help laughing and feel terrible as human beings about it"?
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Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 16:43
Three jews eat eggs. Poop comes from their digestion.
------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 17:35
TheGazzardian wrote:
If you've got some time, this joke is pretty terrible/awesome:
http://longestjokeintheworld.com/" rel="nofollow - http://longestjokeintheworld.com/ |
Whoever wrote that "joke" in that format needs to rid us of their existence.
That being said, we had a bad joke thread previously which I am to lazy to look for. My favorite, which I do not remember who to give credit to, went something like this.
Horse walks into a saloon and sits down at the bar. Bartender asks, "Why the long face?"....
"I have cancer", replies the horse.
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: April 30 2012 at 19:19
HolyMoly: Man up. If baby guts generates no controversy and people let my "It's fine to joke about rape" speech saunter past them, you'll be fine. Tell the jokes.
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Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 12:45
So, we're going to have jokes about horses with cancer raping the guts of a baby???
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 16:09
What do you call a horse with cancer raping a baby in the guts? Funny.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 16:16
It's alright guys, don't get upset, I'm only joking.
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 21:58
You want the worst joke, and here it is
What drives a lesbian up the wall? A crack in the ceiling.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 22:02
Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 01 2012 at 22:03
I got you beat. Did you hear about the waiter in the Nazi concentration camp?
He was only following his hors d'oeuvres.
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 02 2012 at 03:29
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
An Irishman walks out of a bar. It was closing time.
A Jew, a Mexican and an Asian all walk into a bar. I take a moment to appreciate the cultural diversity of my town.
What's the difference between a Jew and some firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned while a Jew is a functioning member of society.
What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot, duh
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 02 2012 at 03:36
Posted By: OT Räihälä
Date Posted: May 02 2012 at 11:20
Liverpool Football Club.
------------- http://soundcloud.com/osmotapioraihala/sets" rel="nofollow - Composer - Click to listen to my works!
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: May 02 2012 at 11:31
Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?
Tequila
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: refugee
Date Posted: May 02 2012 at 13:37
How do you fit five elephants in a Volkswagen Beetle?
Two in the front and three in the back.
------------- He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 03 2012 at 18:01
Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 00:01
What did the gay Catholic priest get for Christmas? Some socks, a sweater, a couple of books.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 00:09
A man is stranded on a deserted island, when he comes across what looks like a magic lamp. A genie comes out of the lamp and says to him "I will grant you 3 wishes". The man responds: "Genies and magic lamps are fictional creations, most commonly found in ancient Arabian folklore, and as such are at odds with a rational understanding of reality. The prolonged isolation on this island, coupled with the extreme temperatures I'm being subjected to, must be causing me to hallucinate." The genie instantly vanishes. Q: Do you put a baby in a blender head or feet first? A: The important question is, why would you put a baby in a blender at all? I expect the answer would be some kind of mental illness or, at the very least, a severe manifestation of sociopathy. What's the difference between a n**ger and a Jew? "N**ger" is a despicable racial slur, and one of the most offensive terms in the English language. It is said at one's own peril in any respectable company, though people of African descent are generally given more leeway with the term, given that it is unlikely that they are expressing contempt for black people. A Jew is an individual either religious or ethnically connected to Judaism, the oldest of the Abrahamic faiths. So they're not the same at all, stop wasting our time. I think you just got off on the naughty thrill of saying n**ger. Child. Knock knock. Who's there?
Pizza. About time. Your mother is so fat that she should consider some sort of weight loss program. Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: And what? A duck and what?
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 00:19
A kid is caught writing a note in class. The teacher says takes it and says "No note writing in class!" She reads the note to herself and gets a horrified look. "This is terrible!" she said, "This is the most horrifying thing I've ever read! The principal needs to see this" So she brings the note to the principal, he reads and is shocked. "Good lord! How can such a young student write such terrible things! I can't believe this. The superintendent needs to read this" So the principal takes the note to the superintendent. The superintendent reads the note. He can't believe what it says. "Wow this is terrible, I can't handle this... the President needs to see this note" So he takes the note to President Obama. Obama reads the note. He says "Goodness, this is the worst thing I've seen in my life...I don't want anything to do with this...I'm sending the note to god" God gets the note and reads it. "What the f**k!?" God says, "This is pure evil, man Satan needs to take this" So God takes the note down to Satan. Satan reads the note. He has to pause at the horror of it. "Holy sh*t, even I can't comprehend such terrible things. What heinously disturbing and vile words are contained in this note. No one should ever see what this says" Then Satan threw the note in the fire.
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Posted By: VanVanVan
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 00:41
JJLehto wrote:
How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
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Brilliant
------------- "The meaning of life is to give life meaning."-Arjen Lucassen
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 04:21
Knock knock. Who's there?
Doorbell repair. Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile.
Q: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?
Q: What did the paedophile say to the priest? A: Father, I have sexually abused children and wish to repent.
Q: What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Nelson Mandela? A: Nothing. Q: If you have four apples in one hand, and 6 oranges in the other, what do you have? A: Quite large hands.
Q: Why did the tiger get lost in the jungle? A: Because the jungle's f*cking massive.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 04:27
Little Johnny was sitting in the class one morning when the teacher asked, "if you have six apples, and I take away two apples, how many apples do you have left?" Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher called on Suzy. "You'd have four apples left, Miss Spencer," Suzy said. "That's correct," said the teacher. But little Johnny was pissed because he had a hilarious response for the teacher that had something to do with the teacher having small tits.
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 08:14
Textbook wrote:
What do you call a horse with cancer raping a baby in the guts?
Funny. |
For some reason this made me laugh a lot.
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Posted By: Smurph
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 08:19
I have bugs on my penis, but it's ok. They are just sementicks.
And here's one that's so not funny that it actually isn't funny.
Why is the most expensive monopoly property so lame?
Because it's boredwalk.
WEGHWIOWEOIFJSDL:SDF KILL ME NOW
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 08:22
^Doesn't work outside of the US.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 09:43
Snow Dog -- off topic question, but that movie clip gif in your signature with the super hero girl comes from a movie I've seen, but I'm drawing a blank as to what it's called. It was a very cool movie, I do remember that. It's been bugging me for days, could you please remind me?
------------- My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 10:19
Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass (cue joke)
------------- What?
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Posted By: Snow Dog
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 10:48
Indeed.
------------- http://www.last.fm/user/Snow_Dog" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: HolyMoly
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 11:01
OK, I remember now. Thanks!
------------- My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 13:31
Sooooooo a family walks into a talent agent's office...
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Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: May 04 2012 at 17:40
------------- "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Posted By: JJLehto
Date Posted: May 05 2012 at 06:58
zappaholic wrote:
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I chuckled
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 05 2012 at 20:47
Did you hear about the guy that stole some classical records and they could not find him?
Because he was Haydn.
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Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 00:07
Haydn's gonna Hayd.
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 07:23
Why can't Helen Keller eat tacos?
Because she's dead.
Wanna hear a joke about titanium oxide? Yeah, me neither.
A bar walks into a man WHAT THE f**k
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 07:24
Q: What did the German say to the black Jew?
A: I'm not sure, I don't speak German.
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Posted By: clarke2001
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 19:49
Doctor: You will have to stop masturbating.
Man: Why is that?
Doctor: I am trying to examine you.
------------- https://japanskipremijeri.bandcamp.com/album/perkusije-gospodine" rel="nofollow - Percussion, sir!
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 21:27
Textbook wrote:
Why can't Helen Keller eat tacos?
Because she's dead.
Wanna hear a joke about titanium oxide? Yeah, me neither.
A bar walks into a man WHAT THE f**k | Crash! Boom Bang! What was that? Helen Keller falling down the well.
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Posted By: Tapfret
Date Posted: May 09 2012 at 23:14
clarke2001 wrote:
Doctor: You will have to stop masturbating.
Man: Why is that?
Doctor: I am trying to examine you.
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How do you know my doctor?
------------- https://www.last.fm/user/Tapfret" rel="nofollow"> https://bandcamp.com/tapfret" rel="nofollow - Bandcamp
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Posted By: sksingh
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 06:26
Ambient Hurricanes wrote:
A man is driving home from work at 5 PM. He turns on his local rock radio station, and, as he is a big prog fan, he is happy to hear the the first song is The Spirit of Radio by Rush. After this song is over, the next song comes on. It's Tom Sawyer, and once again the man is quite pleased. But the next song the station plays is Closer to the Heart, and then 2112, and then Fly By Night. By this time, the man is somewhat confused, so he calls in to the radio station. He says, "Look, why are you only playing Rush songs? I love Rush, but I want to hear some other bands, too." The guy at the station replies, "Of course we have to play Rush songs. Don't you know? It's Rush hour."
Is that terrible enough for you? |
Please read the above quote
------------- We provides booking services for http://spam.com/5-star-hotels-in-delhi.html" rel="nofollow - 5 Star Spam in delhi
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Posted By: DamoXt7942
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 09:06
^ The worst joke in this thread.
------------- http://www.facebook.com/damoxt7942" rel="nofollow">
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 09:24
Clarke: Reminds me of this one, which I kinda like:
Doctor: I'm afraid you're going to have to stop eating fried chicken.
Man: Really? For how long?
Doctor: At least until I've finished examining you.
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Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 17:56
Not sure if it's the worst, but it's not the best: it's lame, crude, and... Oh, whatever, here comes the joke:
The patient: Doctor, doctor, my breasts are leaking! The doctor: I beg your pardon? When and how did you figure out that? The patient: Well, last evening, when my boyfriend started caressing my breasts, my panties were wet!
If you're looking for me, I'm out.
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 18:06
You know what they say about Hitler? The fewer the better.
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Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 20:05
How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">
The greatest record label of all time!
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 10 2012 at 21:59
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
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Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 00:59
Are you a nerdfighter by chance?
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">
The greatest record label of all time!
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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 10:58
How many engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb
None
Engineers work on motors, electricians need to be called in for the act of light bulb relacements
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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 11:01
Grade 2 KIds told this today at schoool and laughed
What did the robot say to the traffic light?
You have beautiful eyes baby.
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Posted By: Dean
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 11:02
AtomicCrimsonRush wrote:
Engineers work on motors, electricians need to be called in for the act of light bulb relacements | *sigh*
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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 11:04
^^^ face palm surely!
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Posted By: TheGazzardian
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 11:11
smartpatrol wrote:
Are you a nerdfighter by chance? |
nerdfighteria!
(I watch vlog brothers with my wife sometimes, does that make me a nerd fighter? )
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Posted By: AtomicCrimsonRush
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 11:12
Anyone see Flight of the Conchords?
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 13:17
smartpatrol wrote:
Are you a nerdfighter by chance? | What's a nerdfighter?
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Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 13:34
presdoug wrote:
smartpatrol wrote:
Are you a nerdfighter by chance? | What's a nerdfighter?
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A nerdfighter is a nerd who fights for nerds and intelectualism and all that jazz. The Nerdfighter-movement/community was started by hank and John Green on thier Youtube channel Vlogbrothers. hank Green is also the founder of the blog Eco-geek, and John Green is also the author of six teen books, which are really good. I asked you because hank Green made a video of 50 Jokes, and the ADD kid one and the Psychiatrist one were both in said video. Don't Forget to be Awesome
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">
The greatest record label of all time!
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Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 13:35
TheGazzardian wrote:
smartpatrol wrote:
Are you a nerdfighter by chance? |
nerdfighteria!
(I watch vlog brothers with my wife sometimes, does that make me a nerd fighter? )
|
If you want to be a Nerdfighter, you are. DFTBA
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">
The greatest record label of all time!
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Posted By: smartpatrol
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 16:48
Why does the gay man want to be a cat... Because cats lick thier own dicks SO BAD!
------------- http://bit.ly/1kqTR8y" rel="nofollow">
The greatest record label of all time!
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Posted By: presdoug
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 16:57
How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
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Posted By: Gerinski
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 18:30
Mum, does the toilet turn?
No son
Ush, then I must have sh*tted in the washing machine
(I know "toilet" is not equally used in all english speaking countries so replace by whatever appropiate word)
The teacher is giving to the students the results of their exams (in Spain we use grades from 0 to 10):
"Harry, a 10,
Peter, a 7,5
Chris, a 9
Bobby, a 6,5
Jimmy, a 0"
"why me a zero, teacher?" says Jimmy.
"because you cheated and copied the exam from Peter"
"and how do you know that?"
"because the answer to the first 4 questions was identical, and on the 5th his answer was "I don't know" and yours was "me neither"
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 19:08
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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Posted By: zappaholic
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 19:11
presdoug wrote:
How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!
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How many militant feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, and there's NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT IT.
------------- "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: May 11 2012 at 22:19
I laughed many times while reading this thread.
------------- Dig me...But don't...Bury me I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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Posted By: Textbook
Date Posted: May 12 2012 at 04:20
Knock knock
Who's there?
To.
To who?
I think you'll find it's "to whom".
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