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Topic ClosedTell me the worst joke you know:)

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 30 2012 at 22:45
Why do French people call a horse a "cheval"?

 
 
 
Because they're speaking French.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 04:44
Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

I would've thought it was pretty obvious that I didn't read your submission of the same joke, or I wouldn't have posted it myself.

 
Dean: Mature.


Why can't you just say "Sorry I din't see you posted the same joke"Confused A bit of good grace goes a long way.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 04:47
Originally posted by Dean Dean wrote:


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 05:55
Originally posted by Snow Dog Snow Dog wrote:

Originally posted by Textbook Textbook wrote:

I would've thought it was pretty obvious that I didn't read your submission of the same joke, or I wouldn't have posted it myself.

 
Dean: Mature.


Why can't you just say "Sorry I din't see you posted the same joke"Confused A bit of good grace goes a long way.


Now, it's okay, since I first called "thief", which was NOT graceful.

Thinking about it, I should have written: "You, dirty, stinking, slimy joke thief! Give me ONE reason to spare your life from my most terrible angar, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

Also:
"Knock knock!
 - Who's there?
 - Mozart!
 - Mozart who?
 - Mozart Ella!"
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:03
Knock knock
"Who's there"?
"Doctor"
"Doctor Who"?
"Listen pal...do you need medical attention or a Timelord"?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:05
Why did the dodo become extinct?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:08
What did the cow say to the philosopher?

"Moooooo"



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:09
^the cow obviously had a low opinion of him.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:25
A man walks out of a bar.
The bartender says "Don't f**king leave me here to do the joke by myself you b*****d! Come back! sh*t... Um... OK... Uh, hi everybody. My name's Steve and uh, I'm the bartender here and I have this joke to do for you... um, just pretend there's another guy here... he'd be standing about here, just in front of the counter... OK and he says this thing to me... sh*t, what was it... I didn't learn his lines, I only learned mine... I know there was something about ducks in it..."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:28
Knock knock
"Who's there"?
The man from the pub joke......let me in"!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 06:45
Singing:

When an eel bites your arm
And it does you great harm...

...that's a moray

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 07:24
Originally posted by Jim Garten Jim Garten wrote:

Singing:

When an eel bites your arm
And it does you great harm...

...that's a moray

LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 08:01
You’ve got it wrong, Jim. Only bad jokes are allowed here. Yours is too funny.
He say nothing is quite what it seems;
I say nothing is nothing
(Peter Hammill)
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 16:55
What is another way to describe an angry chest?    A cross dresser.

Edited by presdoug - May 31 2012 at 17:17
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 16:58
Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

What is another way to describe an angry transvestite?    A cross dresser.


You question should say "angry chest."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:11
Originally posted by Epignosis Epignosis wrote:

Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

What is another way to describe an angry transvestite?    A cross dresser.


You question should say "angry chest."
 
That would be better, and therefor an inapropriate improvement on a "worst joke".
 
 
So here goes for the funniest joke I know.
 
A tomato walks into a barber shop... tumpty-dumpty do.
The barber says "Hey red one"
the tomato fiercely confronts the barber asking with an angry face and voice "Are you discriminating me"
At which the barber replied "No, you don't have any hair"
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:17

Here's the funniest joke I know:

 
What does a baby sound like in a microwave?
Don't know. I was too busy jacking off LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:21
Sorry if i had been inappropriate in my joke. I changed it.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:27
Originally posted by presdoug presdoug wrote:

Sorry if i had been inappropriate in my joke. I changed it.
 
You had to change didn't you.
 
You should leave things as they are, that's how God intended it.
I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: May 31 2012 at 17:36
A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but cling film around his crotch area.
The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
 
(If you laughed at this, die.)
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