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Dean 
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin and Amateur Layabout
Joined: May 13 2007
Location: Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 37575
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 Posted: April 28 2012 at 18:08 |
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Freedom's a peach. When rape gets funny it's time to evacuate planet earth.
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What?
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: April 28 2012 at 19:53 |
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^It was funny. In a dark sick way. It.s like feeling guilty laughing. A strange but strangely gratifying and guilt edged experience.
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: April 29 2012 at 04:42 |
Rape isn't funny. Catch me laughing at an actual instance of rape. What's going on in that joke is simply an absurd compounding of terrible things- you could say "shot by his parents" and get more or less the same result, but again that wouldn't imply that the joke teller thinks people being shot by their parents is funny. It's also an expectations subverting joke, in that you imagine his Christmas present will have something to do with his condition, but it doesn't, and not only that but it's not a Christmas present at all. At no point in this process does "rape is inherently amusing" go through anyone's head. Using rape in a joke is like shooting people in video games. There's no actual people being shot, there's no actual rape being made light of. This is distinct from specifically mocking an actual rape victim about their rape. In the joke I told I'm referring to the concept of rape and if it reminds people who've been raped of their trauma and they get offended, well why don't we stop referring to cancer or war or hell, death altogether, because it might upset people. But if I said "Hey this specific person, here's their name, they got raped and I'm gonna make jokes about it", it could be well executed from a comedy perspective but it really isn't gonna fly from a moral perspective unless that person is Hitler or something similar and there might be some karmic justification for it. See the infamous An Hero meme for an example of what I'm talking about. An Hero is funny as a concept and it would've been fine to execute it in a fictional context, but it was not cool at all when done to a person in real life.
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: April 29 2012 at 17:20 |
Anyhoo, what never fits no matter what size it is?
A dead epileptic.
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AtomicCrimsonRush
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 02 2008
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 14258
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Posted: April 29 2012 at 20:46 |
2 elephants fall off a cliff
BOOM! BOOM!
Edited by AtomicCrimsonRush - April 29 2012 at 20:47
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HolyMoly
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
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Posted: April 29 2012 at 21:09 |
What did the man say when the steamroller ran over his cat?
He didn't say anything, he just stood there with a long puss.
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My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Textbook
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 08 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 3281
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Posted: April 29 2012 at 22:14 |
How do you starve a (insert ethnicity of choice)? Hide his food stamps in his work boots.
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ColonelClaypool
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 22 2005
Location: Bergen, Norway
Status: Offline
Points: 747
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:33 |
A man walks into a bar. Ouch.
A kangaroo, a rabbi and an astronaut walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of joke?"
Edited by ColonelClaypool - April 30 2012 at 07:34
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With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince.
With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D. and you still have the frog you started with.
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Smurph
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:39 |
 Ambient Hurricanes wrote:
A man is driving home from work at 5 PM. He turns on his local rock radio station, and, as he is a big prog fan, he is happy to hear the the first song is The Spirit of Radio by Rush. After this song is over, the next song comes on. It's Tom Sawyer, and once again the man is quite pleased. But the next song the station plays is Closer to the Heart, and then 2112, and then Fly By Night. By this time, the man is somewhat confused, so he calls in to the radio station. He says, "Look, why are you only playing Rush songs? I love Rush, but I want to hear some other bands, too." The guy at the station replies, "Of course we have to play Rush songs. Don't you know? It's Rush hour."
Is that terrible enough for you? |
This used to be real thing in Columbus, OH. I have not listened to the radio since that stopped.
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Smurph
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:47 |
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill.
Edited by Smurph - April 30 2012 at 07:50
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HolyMoly
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin
Joined: April 01 2009
Location: Atlanta
Status: Offline
Points: 26138
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 07:54 |
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Two of the funniest jokes I know are too tasteless to share here. Frustrating.
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My other avatar is a Porsche
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is lightly greased.
-Kehlog Albran
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Smurph
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 08:08 |
HolyMoly wrote:
Two of the funniest jokes I know are too tasteless to share here. Frustrating.
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NOTHING IS TOO TASTELESS DO IT NOW OR I'LL GET ANGRY FOR YOU NOT SHARING THEM
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 08:29 |
Smurph wrote:
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill. |
I like the blood and guts or the April Fool has no impact.
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Smurph
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:40 |
Snow Dog wrote:
Smurph wrote:
A woman is gives birth. The doctor grabs the baby and cuts the umbilical cord and says- "It's a boy." Then he slices the baby open with a knife and starts tossing its guts on the mothers face. He throws the leftover corpse into the trash.
The mother is screaming frantically. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY??? NOOO!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???"
The doctor replies, "April Fools! The baby was already dead."
This how this joke was originally told to me. I thought it would be funnier if he never threw the guts on the mom's face. I mean, I get that it was supposed to look like he killed it even though it was already dead, but there really is no reason to be throwing the insides of the baby on the mom. Overkill. |
I like the blood and guts or the April Fool has no impact. |
I'm saying the blood and guts are cool still. Like if he threw the guts on the wall. I don't get why it had to be the mother's face.
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Snow Dog
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 23 2005
Location: Caerdydd
Status: Offline
Points: 32995
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:42 |
^Why not? 
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Smurph
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 11 2012
Location: Columbus&NYC
Status: Offline
Points: 3167
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 09:52 |
^Don't know actually it is all funny either way. I was just being critical of my own joke before anyone else could get to it. 
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TheGazzardian
Prog Reviewer
Joined: August 11 2009
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8726
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 10:20 |
If you've got some time, this joke is pretty terrible/awesome:
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 10:38 |
AnnaDanielle wrote:
Just looking for some entertainment:) So amuse me...  |
What do you mean by "the worst joke"? Is it "worst" as in "this is so lame we just can't help laughing and feel idiot about it" or as in "this is so gross we just can't help laughing and feel terrible as human beings about it"?
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Man With Hat
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166183
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 16:43 |
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Three jews eat eggs. Poop comes from their digestion.
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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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Tapfret
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin
Joined: August 12 2007
Location: Bryant, Wa
Status: Offline
Points: 8581
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Posted: April 30 2012 at 17:35 |
TheGazzardian wrote:
If you've got some time, this joke is pretty terrible/awesome:
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 Whoever wrote that "joke" in that format needs to rid us of their existence. That being said, we had a bad joke thread previously which I am to lazy to look for. My favorite, which I do not remember who to give credit to, went something like this. Horse walks into a saloon and sits down at the bar. Bartender asks, "Why the long face?".... "I have cancer", replies the horse.
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