ProgArchives Mafia: The Merriweather Murder

Night 1

Wanting to take a break from the unfortunate events of the day, Atoms decided it would be a fantastic night for a stroll. When he finally reached the park that he usually liked to visit, he heard a voice. “Hello.” The creepy voice startled him, and he turned around to see a blonde-haired man in a suit. “My name is Richard Branson and I would like to speak to you about your music. Why don’t you follow me back to my office and we can talk about a record contract?” Atoms was excited. No one had contacted him about a record contract in years! He gladly followed the man, not knowing the danger that awaited him.

They arrived at an alley, where Richard Branson stopped and pulled out a gun. Atoms was absolutely stunned. He prayed for his life knowing that his time had come.

Suddenly, both men heard cries from the sky and they stepped outside the alley to see that there was a huge flock of birds swarming in the misty darkness above them. The birds had feathers of fire that illuminated the sky and created an amazing spectacle. Richard Branson took advantage of the distraction, aimed the gun at his captive, and pulled the trigger. Atoms fell to the ground as the bullet pierced his heart.

Richard Branson smiled in satisfaction as the birds flew away.

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MrEdifus was walking a few streets down and heard the gunshot. Assuming it was the result of some gang dispute, he continued his journey home until something caught the corner of his eye. A flaming bird was quickly approaching. He turned around and only caught a momentary glimpse of the magnificent creature before it flew straight into him. MrEdifus immediately burst into flames, the only remains of his body quickly turning to ash.

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horsewithteeth11 was enjoying a nice dinner alone, his favorite meal: spaghetti and meatballs. He continued to dine until he heard a strange sound coming from his roof. His hand holding the fork froze as he listened more closely, but heard nothing else. He shrugged it off as nothing and began to continue eating when suddenly a loud crash could be heard coming from the living room. He got up from his chair and walked into the living room to find a man who had just entered through his chimney. Santa Claus? No, this man had no jolly read coat. He also had no white beard. “May I help you?” horsewithteeth11 asked.

Damo Suzuki looked at horsewithteeth11 with absolutely crazed eyes and shouted gibberish. He pulled out a sword he was hiding from behind his back, not knowing that there had been something that followed him down the chimney. Before he could do anything else, Damo suddenly was set on fire. He ran around the living room, sword in hand, shouting “Aumgn! Aumgn!!!” Not sure what to do about the scorching pain, he jumped out the front window and ran outside. horsewithteeth11 shrugged and sat back down to eat his delicious dinner. “I’ll fix it later.”

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Robert Fripp was not happy with the results of the first lynch. He saw nutella23 in the parking lot behind the record store and thought he would do something about it. He plugged in his guitar, turned the guitar amp all the way up, opened the door and blasted away. Instead of losing her hearing, nutella23 discovered that she couldn’t speak.

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Meanwhile, progkidjoel was playing piano in the basement of the record store. After finishing his cover of Porcupine Tree’s “Lazarus”, he was approached by Steven Wilson himself. “That’s a great song. Wasn’t today absolutely crazy? I have a safe house located in a valley a few miles down the road. I can take you there while everything dies down tomorrow if you’d like.” progkidjoel was overcome with excitement: “Of course!”

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Michael Jackson was busy practicing dance moves in the zombie fortress, but was interrupted by Richard Branson: “Have you not left yet? It’s getting late! We have a zombie empire to construct!”. Somewhat unenthusiastically, Michael Jackson then left the vicinity in search of recruitments. It wasn’t long before he bumped into someone on the street who was carrying bags of musical equipment. “Oh, I’m sorry! Let me help you with those bags…. By the way, we’re looking for some employees. Do you want a job?” The musician nodded and followed Michael Jackson back to the fortress.

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After stripping his clothes and suppressing the fire by continuing to run around like a maniac, Damo went back to the recording studio where he ran into fellow band member, Jaki Liebezeit. The drummer handed Damo a folded piece of paper and proceeded to explain the content. Damo smiled, confident that he could accomplish the task, with or without pants.

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