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Mr ProgFreak View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Have I offended anyone?
    Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:29
Lately I'm getting the feeling like many of you take offense when I start threads about anything except music, even if I only start maybe one such thread per month (at the most), and I start those threads in the proper categories. Furthermore, I've posted some critical remarks about the new sister website of PA and got the usual negative replies (basically just versions of "your website looks like sh*t anyway").

So: Have I offended anyone, and if so, what's the offense? Feel free to answer here, by PM, or simply ignore the question.Smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:50
I'm sorry you're feeling that way Mike, to be honest I've noticed that a little bit and I'm not sure what the issue is, except maybe a sort of 'well you kept pushing your site, stepped down from a team, and you still want to be friends ?!'  kind of playground nonsense.  I don't know.  I do know I still like you.


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:52
No Mike. I don't think so. You know I always joke about your website but I love it. If you feel offended by that, I'm sorry then.   

Maybe the time when you started many threads about religion gave you a "stubborn" reputation that wasn't helped when, after creating a thread about dieting, you went to a thread where a member asked for prayers to say, basically, "i don't pray, go diet". I know it was not your intention, but it sounded harsh.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:55
^^ Thanks, and likewise! Well, I used to think that I still show support for PA through providing the genre team charts. I know what you mean regarding pushing my website, but I haven't really done that lately ... except for occasionally pointing out some differences between the websites. But in my experience I lately get flak for all sorts of things that are neither related to PF nor PA.

Is it all a bit childish? Sure, but then again we all are childish in our love for music, and I'm certainly glad about that.Smile




Edited by Mr ProgFreak - April 01 2010 at 01:56
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:58
Mike you deserve more credit for what your site is useful for even if usability issues arise from time to time, pity it is not acknowledged more by major shareholders here.
It is the people that made PA what it is
You are a tenacious fellow and all credit to you for that!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 01:59
Originally posted by The T The T wrote:

No Mike. I don't think so. You know I always joke about your website but I love it. If you feel offended by that, I'm sorry then.   

Maybe the time when you started many threads about religion gave you a "stubborn" reputation that wasn't helped when, after creating a thread about dieting, you went to a thread where a member asked for prayers to say, basically, "i don't pray, go diet". I know it was not your intention, but it sounded harsh.



I know what you mean. I made another post there to clarify that I was only trying to provide some advice that might be useful to him. In hindsight, I probably should not have mentioned the word "pray" at all in my post, and everything would have been fine.

BTW: I didn't start "many threads about religion" - I started two polls and a third one that I had closed shortly afterwards, if I remember correctly. Those discussions were very active, so it might have looked to some like I was spamming the place.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 03:18
Haven't noticed anyone taking "offence" Mike, or insulting your site. Have you been spammed privately?
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 03:20
^ no, just referring to the increased knee jerk reactions lately.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 03:38
Much of this goes over my head. I dont think I've ever been offended by you. My impression of you - rightly or wrongly - is that you are someone who speaks your mind, but there's no crime in that as far as I'm concerned.

Some people are very delicate and over sensitive. It's worth remembering that on a forum, I guess.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 03:46
I guess that I'm sometimes a bit overzealous ... maybe that adds to the impression that some people get about me creating dozens of threads.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 03:58
Originally posted by Blacksword Blacksword wrote:

Much of this goes over my head. I dont think I've ever been offended by you. My impression of you - rightly or wrongly - is that you are someone who speaks your mind, but there's no crime in that as far as I'm concerned.

Some people are very delicate and over sensitive. It's worth remembering that on a forum, I guess.
 
I think I must come in to this category. In a completely unrelated thread I recently asked what I thought was a reasonable, polite question that wasn't loaded in any way (at least not for me). I received one reply that made me feel I had just had 6 of the best off teacher, if that expression still means anything to people!
 
What I will say to the OP here is that although we may have crossed swords he at least replied to me, which I appreciate.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 04:11
Originally posted by seventhsojourn seventhsojourn wrote:

Originally posted by Blacksword Blacksword wrote:

Much of this goes over my head. I dont think I've ever been offended by you. My impression of you - rightly or wrongly - is that you are someone who speaks your mind, but there's no crime in that as far as I'm concerned. Some people are very delicate and over sensitive. It's worth remembering that on a forum, I guess.

 

I think I must come in to this category. In a completely unrelated thread I recently asked what I thought was a reasonable, polite question that wasn't loaded in any way (at least not for me). I received one reply that made me feel I had just had 6 of the best off teacher, if that expression still means anything to people!

 

What I will say to the OP here is that although we may have crossed swords he at least replied to me, which I appreciate.


It wasn't me, was it? If so, sorry!!!

Whatever was said, did it actually offend you? It would seriously take a lot to offend me. It would take more than a squabble over music, or even the 'cut of someones gib' They would have to directly attack me, personally.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 04:24

No it wasn't you, so no need to apologise! Tongue

The comment just made me feel small, like nothing really. Like I say though, I'm maybe too sensitive for all this forum malarky. Thing is, I come here for fun etc, not to get wound up. I've got to thank the OP for this thread though. Unfinished business isn't good for you... 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 05:45
Originally posted by seventhsojourn seventhsojourn wrote:

No it wasn't you, so no need to apologise! Tongue

The comment just made me feel small, like nothing really. Like I say though, I'm maybe too sensitive for all this forum malarky. Thing is, I come here for fun etc, not to get wound up. I've got to thank the OP for this thread though. Unfinished business isn't good for you... 



So there's two of usWink... I have had to stop posting in some threads because it was positively bad for my health, so I would be one of the least likely people to attack someone else - unless I am in a particularly bad mood (which unfortunately happens).

Personally, Mike, though I may disagree on your stance on some things, the last time I felt offended by you was a long time ago, and it had to do with musical questions. I have noticed people making fun of you, but I don't believe anyone is doing it to offend you - certainly Teo isn't.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 05:48
Originally posted by seventhsojourn seventhsojourn wrote:

No it wasn't you, so no need to apologise! Tongue

The comment just made me feel small, like nothing really. Like I say though, I'm maybe too sensitive for all this forum malarky. Thing is, I come here for fun etc, not to get wound up. I've got to thank the OP for this thread though. Unfinished business isn't good for you... 

If it was me it was not intentioned Embarrassed
 
I have noticed that many people don't get the humour in many of my posts - I have a tendancy of making fun of just about everything, though what I think is amusing doesn't amuse everybody (also, I think the see the avatar and the admin tag and assume I'm being stern and serious - I'm not like that in real life [you can't have a birthdate like mine and remain serious Wink]).
 
Originally posted by Mr ProgFreak Mr ProgFreak wrote:

Lately I'm getting the feeling like many of you take offense when I start threads about anything except music, even if I only start maybe one such thread per month (at the most), and I start those threads in the proper categories. Furthermore, I've posted some critical remarks about the new sister website of PA and got the usual negative replies (basically just versions of "your website looks like sh*t anyway").

So: Have I offended anyone, and if so, what's the offense? Feel free to answer here, by PM, or simply ignore the question.Smile
You are a person with very strong convictions, however, you do give the surface impression of someone who reads a book and swallows the content whole, then takes that as a new crusade that will be the general panacea for all. I have an enquiring and sceptical mind that doesn't accept one account of something as being the general proof so my replies and posts in response to this are my attempt to probe your understanding and knowledge for my own benefit - to test the veracity of your claims if you like, but not to question your convictions or understanding - your posts are just another source of information to my own knowledge pool. In most things I tend to agree with the gist of what you say, but not perhaps the methods you use, the conclusions you draw or the belief that everyone should adopt your new "faith". (I don't really think that you want everyone to follow or agree with you, but that is the impression you give in your replies to peoples replies). Offended? No, not me.
 
As to ProgFreak ... it's a great site and one you should be proud of (it's not for me since I don't like rating and reviewing - for me music is just for listening to) - I have returned to it recently for Crossover evaluations as Olav is a "fan" (and the volume of suggestions is too much for any other tracking system).
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 05:59

Please note that a joke in Los Angeles, USA is regarded an offensive remark in Ulan Bator, Mongolia.

I have worked in a multi-cultural environment for two decades now and have done some bloomers due to cultural clashes.

The worst I have ever done was due to a language-cultural error. A nice girl was showing me a picture with her big cat sleeping on her lap. My remark was "Oh, what a big hairy pussy you have". In Norwegian-English, I was referring to her cat. In English, it did not quite come across like that. Hence the office erupting in laughter. I ate a lot of humble pies that day.  

So beware that this is a multicultural environment.

Btw. I have yet to be offended here due to being aware of the cultural differences between the Americans and myself as an European loner.  




Edited by toroddfuglesteg - April 01 2010 at 06:02
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 06:10
I managed to upset someone here, a few years back by using the expression 'Taking the p*ss' in a review of a Brian Eno album. I think the point I made was that I felt Eno was taking the proverbial out of Bryan Ferry, or Roxy Music generally, on the album in question.

I recieved a PM from one of our admins saying a complaint had been raised by a forum member in South America about the expression, which he deemed very offensive. I edited the review accordingly, but I think the issue was context. The expression was taken to mean something completely different from what I intended.

Goes to show what toroddfuglesteg says is very true, and we should be aware.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 06:29
Originally posted by Raff Raff wrote:

Originally posted by seventhsojourn seventhsojourn wrote:

No it wasn't you, so no need to apologise! Tongue

The comment just made me feel small, like nothing really. Like I say though, I'm maybe too sensitive for all this forum malarky. Thing is, I come here for fun etc, not to get wound up. I've got to thank the OP for this thread though. Unfinished business isn't good for you... 



So there's two of usWink... I have had to stop posting in some threads because it was positively bad for my health, so I would be one of the least likely people to attack someone else - unless I am in a particularly bad mood (which unfortunately happens).

It is remarkably easy to offend and be offended on the internets. I find stepping back and taking a breath before responding helps - looking at the offending post in context and looking for alternative meanings and interpretations can allow you to see the post from a different perspective. Sometimes the poster doesn't know he/she has offended anyone since that was never their intent. There is a classic example in the Intelligent People's thread where I persistently ribbed Brian until he snapped - I wasn't trying to be offensive, officious or rude, just following the course of the exchange and pushed it too far. Here he was reacting to a preconception of what I was like based upon status, not on personality.
 
Often we jump to conclusions based on minor cultural differences and preconceptions of what the person is like. The thumbnail personality profles we have of people here are based upon scant information and will be woefully inaccurate.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 06:39
Dean, as a linguist, I am all too aware of the limitations of the written medium as compared to face-to-face interaction. In most cases, if we were to have a conversation with another PA member in real life, we wouldn't even dream of being offended, because their meaning would be made explicit by other factors (tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and so on). This does not happen on the Internetz, so it's easy to take offense when there is none intended - though, of course, nasty words always mean the sameWink.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 01 2010 at 06:45
Originally posted by Raff Raff wrote:

Dean, as a linguist, I am all too aware of the limitations of the written medium as compared to face-to-face interaction. In most cases, if we were to have a conversation with another PA member in real life, we wouldn't even dream of being offended, because their meaning would be made explicit by other factors (tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and so on). This does not happen on the Internetz, so it's easy to take offense when there is none intended - though, of course, nasty words always mean the sameWink.
IRL nasty words don't mean the same and are part of normal banter - unfortunately that does not translate into the restrictive medium of the Internet - something that most people should be aware of by now - if I tell some one not to be "ignorant" IRL the context is everything and it is rarely taken as an offense - here it will never be anything other than offensive, even with the get-out-of-jail-free card of an emoticon Wink.
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