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Pr0bl3m View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: Eggroll - The Girl
    Posted: February 12 2010 at 11:49
I'm trying to rewrite the lyrics of this song, but I'm such a stack in the middle of the progress.

The song can be found right here: http://www.myspace.com/eggrollband

Sitting alone on a Saturday night
Can't tell but feeling left out
She was the girl that no one knew about
So shy and so full of doubt

Trying to find out a place in the crowd
Quietly watching them all
Feeling like she was just touring the world
As life was taking its toll

And she tried...
And she tried...

Sitting alone on a bench near the yard
Watching them kicking the ball
Gazing

Here I'm stack.

I'll be happy to get any help in completion of the rewrite progress. Thanks!


Edited by Pr0bl3m - February 12 2010 at 11:51
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Padraic View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2010 at 11:59
How about "Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent".
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2010 at 12:02
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

How about "Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent".

That's not funny.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2010 at 12:24
^ Yes it is!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2010 at 12:28
But seriously. Perhaps Kevin Ayers's "Girl on a Swing" can be of help?

It goes:

She’s got a feeling for the spring
I’ve got another song to sing

Girl on a swing
Girl on a swing
Girl on a swing,
0n a swing
Such a pretty thing

She’s not a victim of despair
She’s just a feeling in the air

[chorus]

She sways, silently she sings
Her song gives my body wings

[chorus]
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 12 2010 at 12:29
Originally posted by Pr0bl3m Pr0bl3m wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

How about "Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent".

That's not funny.


It's a little bit funny.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 13 2010 at 12:51
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Pr0bl3m Pr0bl3m wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

How about "Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent".

That's not funny.


It's a little bit funny.


LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: February 13 2010 at 18:24
Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

Originally posted by Pr0bl3m Pr0bl3m wrote:

Originally posted by Padraic Padraic wrote:

How about "Sitting on a park bench, eyeing little girls with bad intent".

That's not funny.


It's a little bit funny.
 
The second remark is even funnier than the first LOL
Les mains, les pieds balancés
Sur tant de mers, tant de planchers,
Un marin mort,
Il dormira

- Paul Éluard
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