Bar Fight! *throws beer mug*

Joel is not as happy as FiP and el dingo with this situation and tries to think of a plan to resurrect Jon whilst drinking a 4-litre stein of Oranjeboom

The mood is broken when an anonymous guy with long, thinning, greasy hair, many pimples, wearing a kaftan and carrying a book called 1001 things to cook with brown rice approaches the jukebox, inserts a coin and the strains of Wonderous Stories poison the atmosphere

Millions of people around the world visit the bar to see the ghost of Floyd,the rotting duck corpses,David Bowie and the drunken patriots of PA dancing to the YMCA

Particularly popular with the tourists is the Robert Fripp Lounge, where they are able to sit in V-neck jumpers, wear serious expressions and read books on electronic engineering without fear of (almost) anyone taking the p*ss

Emerging from the toilet el dingo swings Ozzy Osbourne's fake incense bowl in the general direction of FiP in a futile attempt to exorcise him

Naturally this pleases dingo, who felled two adversaries with one fake incense bowl. To celebrate he gains control of the jukebox and puts on I Wish I Was A Girl by the Pink Fairies, and dedicates it to Vompatti.

I produce a packet of sauce a l'orange and the ducks flee in horror 'cos I still have my meat cleaver

While FIP is tying me up I urinate on his shoes.

A passing visitor from the Egon Ronay fine dining guide refuses to recommend our bar because of all the urine and vomit, most of which has emanated from Vompatti

el dingo wrote: A passing visitor from the Egon Ronay fine dining guide refuses to recommend our bar because of all the urine and vomit, most of which has emanated from Vompatti