Bar Fight! *throws beer mug*
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Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=62871
Printed Date: December 02 2024 at 14:08
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Topic: Bar Fight! *throws beer mug*
Posted By: The Runaway
Subject: Bar Fight! *throws beer mug*
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 10:55
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This thread is the first ever, PA BAR FIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!! In here we just pretend we are in a bar and write down our actions, which sould be punches or kicks, or falcons punches, or falcon kicks. Anything that can hurt in a bar, basically.
Example:
Vompatti: WHO SPILLED MY WINONA MILK?!?
Joel: *punches vompatti* I did!
Blowin Free: *breaks vompatti's mug on Joel* ROFLPWNT
CPicard: *chokes Blowin Free*
Joel: *Gets CPicard off Blowin Free and assists BF*
and so on and so forth.
WHO SPILLED MY ARGUS MILK?!? ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Replies:
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:05
| I'm too busy fighting the foo. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:08
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You keep rejecting my topics and then they become very popular! ARGHHHHHHHH *headbutts Slarti* ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:15
Owww, dammit!  Pouring a pint over Blowin's head...  |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:17
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Did you just... NUH UH! Do you like tequila? *breaks tequila bottle over Slarti's head* ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:18
I demand a lime with that. In fact, several. |
Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:21
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Here's your lime! *Squirts lime juice in Slarti's eyes* ------------- 
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Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:23
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I need some salt with that.
------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened... 
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Posted By: crimhead
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:25
| Blasphemy to have a bar fight on Sunday, the day of our lord. |
Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:26
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*Throws salt in Slarti's eyes* Blasphemy! I'll show you blasphemy! *Chokes crimhead with a rosary* -------------
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Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:27
| Oh, that feels much better somehow. Running away but returning with a tactical nuclear warhead... |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:28
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I stop Slarti, turn him around, and give him an epic punch to the face!!! ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 11:33
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The TNW was already detonated, everything you perceive after that is a figment of your imagination.
------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 12:00
| I grab both Blowin' Free and Slartibartfast and smack Blowin' Free's head in Slarti's nose. |
Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 12:02
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Gosh! How violent you are! I prefer to stay close to the ladies' space, hiding myself with a wig and lipstick. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 12:48
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I ban CPicard for faking transvestitism. WHOOPS WRONG THREAD. I take CPicard and shove into the ladies room! ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 12:57
| I grab a bar stool and swing it against Blowin' Free's back. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:04
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I get up and deliver an elbow-shot to FIP's head. ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:07
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I stretch my arm until my hand reaches Blowin' free's eyeball. Then I squeeze it till it cracks and white juize flows out of it. (I really enjoy a night at the bar)
 |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:09
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I kick FIP in the sack. He is now unable to have children. ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:10
| I stretch my arm until my hand reaches Blowin' free's other eyeball. Then I squeeze it till it cracks and white juize flows out of it. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:16
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I put a coin in the jukebox and select "Old Black Joe". |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:33
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I shoot the jukebox. It switches to Yes' "(Let Me Eat Your) Wonderous Curries" ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 13:49
| I ban Blowin Free for attempting to make fun of one of the greatest Yes songs ever. Once I've banned him I urinate in his ear. |
Posted By: CPicard
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 14:21
| I get out of the toilets after grabbing the soap distributor and throw it in the middle of the bar. |
Posted By: UndercoverBoy
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 14:32
| I come in and blast "Love Beach" on the jukebox. |
Posted By: Any Colour You Like
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 14:33
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*Someone, falling over, knocks ACYL's precious Pilsner, causing it to fly over the bar and smash into the floor* With a heavy heart, thus I must wage into the fray. *Picks up barstool* |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:05
I sit down at a table in the corner and begin to cry. 
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Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:39
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I shove pieces of onion into Vompatti's nose to make him cry some more.
-------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:42
| I croon an off-key version of Old Black Joe through my onion tears. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:43
As the bar brawl progresses suddenly someone walks in - it is Winona Ryder!
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Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:46
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I make sure Winona leaves the bar so she is not caught up in this mess. I then shove Vompatti out of the bar and start shooting some beer at floydispink with the beer taps.
-------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:47
| A man walks into the bar. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:48
| I throw birdwithteeth at the stripper's pole (it's a very kinky bar). Because of his insanely large teeth he gets stuck at the pole. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 15:51
| I walk back in and slice everyone into shreds with my telekinetic powers. |
Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:04
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I struggle, but finally manage, to rip the pole out of it's bearings. While it is still stuck in my teeth, I begin swinging it at floydispink and Vompatti since they are the two closest to me. I also am immune to telekinetic powers. -------------
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:07
Me too! I am smacked against the wall, but I get up. While birdwithteeth is busy with smashing Vompatti, I grab him at his nosehair, and drag him around the bar.
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birdwithteeth11 wrote:Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:07
| I grab the pole and stick it up birdwithteeth's beak. |
Posted By: Any Colour You Like
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:11
| Ducking poles as they are swung wildly round the room, ACYL makes his way towards the beer taps, ensuring a brown ale is flowing at all times during the fracas. |
Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:12
| I come in the bar riding a pink elephant(this is all a figment of our imaginations after the TNW exploded right?) |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:21
| I order fries and a coke. |
Posted By: Any Colour You Like
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:24
| That'll be $2.30 thanks Vompatti. Ready in 10 - just have to fire up the deep fry. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:24
| I go outside to get some fresh air. |
Posted By: horsewithteeth11
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:25
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I plant a hand grenade in the mouth of Matt's elephant and then attempt to impale it with my stripper's pole.
-------------
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:32
| While outside I watch what happens inside. I see the elephant explode and parts of it's body are launched around the bar. The genitals fall in the frier where Vompatti's meal is being made. |
Posted By: A Person
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 16:34
| Since the fry cook is from McDonald's he doesn't notice the difference |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 15 2009 at 23:52
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ROFL. I throw A Person out of the bar to protect him from the deep fry. The deep fry explodes. No one is dead but the stripper pole is, again, stuck in bird's teeth. ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 00:10
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I down some Guinness and perform several backflips. ------------- 
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 00:18
| I go back in the bar again. I see Joel backflippin' around the bar and I kick him out of the air. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:26
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I return to the bar and am suitably impressed by the mess you guys made out of it. Unfortunately, I couldn't acquire the nuclear (nukular) device, so I'm tossing in the Holy Hand Grenade.
------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:30
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*Throws [Random Monty Python reference] at Slarti!* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:33
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WHERE ARE MY FRIES???!!!!
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Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:33
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Here they are! *Splashes hot oil in V's face* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:35
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I rub the hot oil all over my naked body and ask again: W H E R E A R E M Y F R I E S ? ? ? ! ! ! ! !
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Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:36
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*Hides erection* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:39
| *Kills pkj's erection by hitting him in the groin with the pole* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:40
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You want wunna thoise, you bluddy beava? [Said In sickeningly Australian accent] *Shakes fist*
*Throws Vompatti across pool table* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:42
| *grabs the pool table and flings it at progkid* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:51
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*Dodges pool table and leaps several meters at Vompatti with broken Vodka bottle* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:54
| *blocks broken Vodka bottle with chair and bites progkid's arm off* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:54
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*Spits in Eric's eye and knees testicles repeatedly* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:56
| *covers testicles with frying pan and urinates on progkid's shoes* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 03:57
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*Shoots razorblades from eyes and makes sweet, sweet love to Winona* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:01
| *laughs maniacally at progkid when he finds out that Winona had seen it coming and hidden small knives in some of her orifices* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:04
*Laughs at Vompatti, because he's been double-crossed*
 -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:11
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WHYYYYYY???!!! WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!!!!! *Stabs progkid with a fork and looks at Winona sorrowfully* |
Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:14
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*Laughs when Vompatti's fork bends against my steeln flesh*
Oh Vompatti *Shakes head and laughs cynically* did you ever think that, you, Eric the Beastiality Fan, had any real chance whatsoever? *Scoffs* -------------
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:31
| When Winona sees what kind of an evil man progkid is, she uses her divine powers and fills progkid's nostrils with cockroaches. |
Posted By: Slartibartfast
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:32
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Performing some brain salad surgery on the two you. Mmmm, mix in some hot sauce, fry 'em up good. Oh crap, forgot to put on the panko... ------------- Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Posted By: progkidjoel
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 04:39
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*Is dead due to lack of brainage* -------------
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:19
| I grab Joel's corpse and forcefully throw it at Vompatti. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:24
| I use my esoteric knowledge to change the polarity of my body so that Joel's corpse is magnetically drawn away from it and towards floydispink. |
Posted By: someone_else
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:26
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Now that I can't sit any longer in this virtual bar without being noticed, I try to sneak my way to the exit door. Meanwhile I provide Floyd, who is completely pink, with a purple spot: I bash him just by accident. ------------- 
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:30
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I forgive semeone else for accidently bashing me, and I won't harm him on his way out. Vompatti however shall feel pain, no matter how much it takes. With my fire breath I burn Joel's body to ashes before it reaches me, and I smack Vompatti on the ground.
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:34
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FIRE BREATH???!!! I stun floydispink, the big liar, with an imported lightning.
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:39
| I avoid Vompatti's lightning by moving two steps to the right. Then I ask Vompatti "why do you say I am a big liar?". |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:42
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"Because I happen to know that you haven't acquired the fire breath skill yet." I spot a copy of the Daily Racing Form and sit down to read it. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:46
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I have acquired my fire breath skill long ago, Vompatti! With that hot exhalation I burn Vompatti's daily racing form and his fingertips.
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:48
| I quickly put the fire out with my waterspout skill. Then I turn FIP into a newt. |
Posted By: Moogtron III
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:49
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As the bar piano player, I realize it's time to play a tune which fits the mood nicely: "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting", from Elton John. I'm quite relaxed, because next to me there's a sign that says: "Don't Shoot Me; I'm Only The Piano Player". I know one thing for sure from prog bars: proggers can be aggressive, but at least they can read and they never want to turn off the music. I start to worry a bit though: is Elton John prog enough? I decide to make use of some tempo changes, just to be sure. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:55
| Because of Elton John's music making me agressive I turn from a newt to a big lazardman. With my sharp claws I crush some tables and barstools. I also look pretty angry at Vompatti, and his face expresses the same fear as the cover of KC's debut. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:56
I wet myself. 
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 06:59
| I throw a bucket of whiskey over Vompatti's face. He now is very wet and temporary blind. |
Posted By: Moogtron III
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:02
| Inspired by floydispink's action and Vompatti's loss of eyesight I play a medley of Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles songs |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:22
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I throw a grenade at the piano and proceed to asskick Joel and Moogtron. ANOTHER BLOWIN FREE THREAD SUCCEEDS! ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:25
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^ You can't do that! I've already burned Joel to ashes with my fire breath. I scratch BF with my lizard claws.
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:43
| I still haven't gotten the fries I ordered on the previous page. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:45
I grab a blade and cut Vompatti's fingers of. I put them in the frier and when they look nice and crunchy I serve them to Vompatti with mayonaise, which is the Dutch way. 
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Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:47
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I happily eat my fingers. Once they're inside me it's as if I never lost them.
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Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:47
| Once again I go outside to take some fresh air. |
Posted By: Vompatti
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:49
| While FIP is outside I defecate in his pint of Guinness. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 07:51
| I go back inside. I am to drunk to remember that I had a pint of guiness, so I order another. |
Posted By: Moogtron III
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 08:08
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Cheers, floydispink Since my piano exploded because of Blowin' Free's granate, I use the knives which I hadn't been able to stab in the instrument yet like a true Keith Emerson. With them I cut of floydispink's fingers, because he spoilt my appetite using DUTCH mayonaise for Vompatti's fingers, while everyone knows that Belgian mayonaise is superior in every way. |
Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 08:11
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I start singing Bohemian Rhapsody along with a female friend of mine and then proceed to kick to stab FIP in the stomach, twist the knife, and just in time for the line: "So you think you can stab me in the tummy with a knife?" ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 08:14
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I bite in Moogtron's arm with my poisonous fangs and start chewing on them (with some Dutch mayonaise, of course).
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Posted By: The Runaway
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 08:42
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I slit FIP's neck. The paramedics will arrive in 3 posts and he will be able to continue 2 posts after that. ------------- http://www.formspring.me/Aragorn224" rel="nofollow - Trendsetter win! The search for nonexistent perfection. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 08:52
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No need for paramedics. My lizardman skin is self-healing, kind of like when you pull of a salamander's tail, but I can heal much faster. I throw Moogtron against Blowin' Free's forehead.
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Posted By: Moogtron III
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 09:03
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Somewhat blown away by the hostile attacks (well, are there any friendly attacks?) I crawl out of the bar, into the shop on the corner, order a new piano with weels under it, roll it back into the bar, play Tarkus' theme and waltz over both floydispink and Blowin Free. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 09:05
| I'm very flat now. I'm going outside (again) to inflate myself with air. |
Posted By: The Sleepwalker
Date Posted: November 16 2009 at 09:20
| I get back in the bar and use my incredible powers. I create a huge landslide that pulls the bar underwater. Everbody is supposed to drown, but I, as a cool amphibic lizardman can breath. |