Relationships anyone?

TODDLER wrote: As it turns out, the girl that runs to the store to buy cold medicine when your sick, or is willing to have a serious relationship, has opposite taste in music, movies, etc; All this hype for years about sharing a common interest does not always walk in hand with having a healthy relationship.

Precisely.

Zargus wrote: Im 25 and i been alone for most of my life, but i think i finaly found the right girl for me, i realy hope so atleast becaus im tierd of wating and looking for the right one, i think if you have some patience you will find someone good sooner or later. Its pretty funny caus i never liked love songs before but now sudenly im crazy about em hehe. And i seend song to her all the time, now to make her like prog... hmmmm... Well i sent her the Peter Hammill song "My Favorite" i think thats a good start and she said she liked it very much.

Be careful about the full-court press on the prog. I'm reminded of the story, told here several times, about the two guys who just knew that the perfect ambiance for their dates was going to be achieved by putting on Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring--after all, the opening section is entitled "The Adoration of the Earth".  They, of course, didn't even get close to first base.

fusionfreak wrote: I'm a very sad man and I feel lost regarding such issues.It's very hard every day since I feel like crying most of the time,moreover I often think about death(It has been the case for years).I've been single for three years and I sometimes spend moments with a woman.I respect her thoroughly,I cheer her up anytime she needs(the best way to forget my problems)but as long as I only have a strong physical desire for her,I won't tell her anything.Moreover we've been knowing each other for years so it's not easy(I'm over sensitive).I enjoy spending time with her but I prevent myself from trying anything.I see myself as a complicated man so in order to stay positive I listen to progressive/psychedelic music,I play basketball,I go to the movies.I just want to share good/bad moments with a woman,support her as much as I can.I want to give and receive.

Sounds like you rely too much on women. You need to learn to depend on yourself.

 When it comes to relationships i have had my share of lonely days,not being particularly tall (5'8) i guess didn't help and i had many occasions where i was out with friends met a girl who i got on really well with and thinking "YES" only to watch her leave with some jock.Even 16 years of martial arts training didnt seem to help with the ladies.

there were a few relationships but non lasted long and i was resigned to a life of batchelorhood,something i did not relish.As time went by and i thought about it i realised that a lot of my problem was my attitude i was so conditioned to rejection that i would give up before i started and it must have shown in the way i comported myself.

This is somethign I can't help but despair over.

 

How the HELL am I going to ever get to know someone, if I get so nervous and over-analytical? I cant control it, I don't how I am supposed to f'ing get anywhere.

 

Maybe you do get better at it, but by that point you will have missed a whole lifetime of potentially great relationships and companions.

StrengthandWisdom wrote: I guess you kind of have to accept that they will just suddenly end for some scientifically unknown reason.

Don't worry too much man, this sums it all up very well

My mum said to me I'm a nicer person when I'm not in a relationship yesterday.

My deal is NOT dealing with the aftermath of a relationship that has fallen apart. All or most of the people who were in your girlfriend's circle of friends are now questioning your business. It's a bit like being put on the judgement stand. Sometimes people can be vague and it may seem that they are avoiding such an issue but don't count on it. The gossip goes round and it's better to disappear for a while. Some ignorant idiots have the tendancy to bring all of your past to the forefront 25 or 30 years after the fact.  It's a drama and foolish to ponder over true. But I've gotten into more fights with people over the years, who try to bring up old s-it and aim to spread it in your face. Whether it be at a dinner party or just a social gathering with your kids. I hate being around people like this more so than the person that I once had the relationship with. It's like there is a committee of adults who use intelligent words to convey and justify a retarded mind set of their own. One that puts your butt in a sling, in more ways than one. They usually want to hear both sides of the story so that later, they can make a judgement towards you. They will black ball you from getting a date with a female friend of theirs or just try really hard to give you a bad name to everyone. Everytime this kind of situation has happened to me, I have physically moved to another town. That's the beauty of freedom. You can not only leave it all behind and throw the bad memories by the wayside, but you can always start a new life in a new place.  

el dingo wrote: rushfan4 wrote: The wise sage Jon Anderson (or was it Trevor Rabin) once sang "Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart".     Yeah sure but didn't Shakespeare say 'Tis better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all'?

One of them is right. Flip a coin if you aren't sure.

I never had a girlfriend until I was about 20.  I thought that I would be a perpetual bachelor and used to get quite self conscious about it.  I was painfully shy, and the thought of approaching a woman would render me completely tongue-tied, but all sorts of unexpected things happen in life.  I have now been married for14 years and have two children (one aged 12 the other 10).  I love my wife very much and she loves me.  My life is completely different in every way (apart from my love of Prog, which started when I was 15) compared to when I was 19 years old.  So, don't use the here and now as a map for the rest of your life.  You never know what is just around the corner!