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The Pessimist ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: June 13 2007 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 3834 |
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I have this to say about relationships:
I really cannot be bothered anymore. That said, if the right woman comes along and I'm in full confidence, then I won't let her slip through my fingers. But I have spent too much time and money on women that I have to to chase after because another man's in the equation. I have better things to worry about. I've broke up one too many times (for one reason or another) and my heart is in bits, so I simply trust a relationship anymore. You're still young dude, and you're in the USA. BE something. Work hard, because no doubt by the time you reach 30 you'll be f**ked (in laman's terms) and there is no turning back. And who says you can't have fun with women without being in a "relationship" with them? ![]() |
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"Market value is irrelevant to intrinsic value."
Arnold Schoenberg |
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stonebeard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 27 2005 Location: NE Indiana Status: Offline Points: 28057 |
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I have a problem I've just uncovered in the past few weeks. It could be that I scuttled a relationship for good and practical reasons (she "needs" to be in relationships, I felt little of a connection) or it may seem like I genuinely don't know what others expect out of a relationship with me. I feel I don't know what to say to fill in the silence. I don't really feel too upset about it, but I hope the answer becomes clearer sooner or later. I definitely don't want to give the impression "Teh women are confusing and emotional I can't relate :(" I think that's crap and I'm not sure if this is an appropriate place to air concerns like that. But I may be more concerned with not treating the forum as group therapy. It makes proggers look like a lonely, pathetic bunch. True or otherwise, let's at least give them the illusion of that not being the case.
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StrengthandWisdom ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: August 19 2009 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 104 |
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"Help that you might find the answers, you can't know before you live. Love and life give you chances, from your flaws. Learn to forgive" -Daniel Gildenlow, Pain of Salvation - Remedy Lane. |
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Henry Plainview ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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WalterDigsTunes ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() Joined: September 11 2007 Location: SanDiegoTijuana Status: Offline Points: 4373 |
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walter digs girl
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clarke2001 ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: June 14 2006 Location: Croatia Status: Offline Points: 4160 |
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Hm.
Hm, hmm. I've been in number of relationships (including two 5+ years long ones) , and they were all turbulent to a degree. I'm currently in a sort-of-relationship for almost a year, and it's kinda diluted (not with the feelings, but with the intensity - we're seeing each other less than once a week). I'm 33, and sometimes I'm feeling like life is passing my by while the string of female names is getting longer. |
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The Runaway ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 28 2009 Location: London Status: Offline Points: 3144 |
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And yeah, I want to have a relationship, and yes I have my eyes set onsomeone, but I don't know how to tell her I love her.
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npjnpj ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() Joined: December 05 2007 Location: Germany Status: Offline Points: 2720 |
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This is probably a bit of a downer, but my take on relationships in life is: Have relationships (even serious ones), but whatever you do, don't get married and have a family, because that's when life gets you by the balls with no hope of escape. Everything that comes after that is focused on having to eat dirt from a..holes for the rest of your life for fear of not being able to support your family properly any more. Been in that vicious situation for almost twenty years now. Well I suppose you can always win the lottery, then things are rosy. Personally, I have always gotten on much better with women than men, I find the normal everyday macho guy thing pretty repulsive, but woman are more easy going on a one-to-one basis, provided the relationship hooks don't sink in too deep and the possession thing kicks in. I'm not a loner, I especially enjoy feminine company, but with no sexual undercurrent, and contrary to a lot of things said about this, it works fine. |
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Petrovsk Mizinski ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: December 24 2007 Location: Ukraine Status: Offline Points: 25210 |
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"I find the normal everyday macho guy thing pretty repulsive"
Just like me lol. I may listen to a lot of metal, but really I'm a f**king pussy and I'm extremely open about my emotions with my females friends while my other male friends keep them hidden away because it's "MOAR METUL TO NOT TELL ANYONE HOW YOU FEEL OR SHOW YOUR EMOTIONS". But yeah, as it is, I regularly go through phases of being extroverted and other times just totally shying away from other people as much as possible. Yeah in a way that's cool, because it means I can listen to sh*t loads of music/read heaps of stuff in a given day if I feel like it, but I seriously doubt I could say in 10 years time that creature comforts would be enough to keep me sane. Someone once told me creature comforts simply aren't a substitute for love and I reckon they're right. I couldn't picture myself being 30 years older and being alone and just listening to music all day after work or reading, I'd probably kill myself. |
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Easy Money ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator / Retired Admin Joined: August 11 2007 Location: Memphis Status: Offline Points: 10681 |
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When you guys make broad statements about women that aren't even remotely true, it says more about you and your experience (or lack of) than anything else. |
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mystic fred ![]() Special Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator Joined: March 13 2006 Location: Londinium Status: Offline Points: 4252 |
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only joking folks
![]() yes it was only a wind up
![]() Edited by mystic fred - October 27 2009 at 03:21 |
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Diaby ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: October 15 2007 Location: Hungary Status: Offline Points: 774 |
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Don't ever try it online. Try it face to face. I know, it's a hard thing to do, I've not had the courage yet to perform this action. But I can tell you a negative online experience: a friend of mine started a "relationship" with his classmate on Windows Live Messenger. Next day, the two didn't say a word to each other in the school. I know this isn't your main problem, but anyway, I find it very important. |
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yeah
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Negoba ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: July 24 2008 Location: Big Muddy Status: Offline Points: 5210 |
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I was alone a long time (been with the same woman 13 years now) and alot of it had to do with two things: my own anxiety and just thinking about it too much, and aiming for the wrong kind of woman. A LOT of guys shoot for women that are wrong for them....different interests, out of their league looks-wise. They get infatuated with someone based on their own perceptions and don't spend the time to tune in a learn about the person across from them.
Things changed for me when I started paying attention to the real people right in front of me and less about the fantasies of what I thought was supposed to happen.
Of course, all of this pretty much applies to women too. There are millions of places where women discuss "Why can't I find a good man," it's just not on a prog message board.
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You are quite a fine person, and I am very fond of you. But you are only quite a little fellow, in a wide world, after all.
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CPicard ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: October 03 2008 Location: Là, sui monti. Status: Offline Points: 10841 |
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I can't stop hearing Zappa singing THE song for this thread.
Oh, before I leave : http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/ Check it to understand a few things. |
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LiquidEternity ![]() Prog Reviewer ![]() ![]() Joined: December 07 2007 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 900 |
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Meh, I spent all high school and the first half of college just terribly upset that I never got to be in any sort of relationship. At some point, though, I grew up a little bit and got a lot less self-obsessed. I haven't lived too large a portion of my life (barring some sort of early death, but you get what I mean), but I have seen a lot of people drive away significant others simply because they treated them like a means to feeling better about themselves or getting laid. Being in a relationship is a wonderful thing because it gives you a good chance to not sit there and focus entirely on yourself all the time.
As a side note, you know all those people talking about needing to find themselves, the real people they pretend to think they can't find? I found the real me at apparently a really early age... and let me tell you this, the real me is pretty annoying. Kind of tired of him. Anyways. There's a poem out there called something like the Ode to Nice Girls. Give it a read. Guys tend to shoot for specific types of girls that really don't work for them. At least in high school and college and just out of college in America, they do. I used to get all hung up on girls who were really outspoken, often tomboyish, etc. But when I stopped to pay attention, it turned out that one quiet, sweet girl rocked my world way more than any of the random crushes I ever had could. And I can't wait to be married, have kids, and be stuck in a routine of difficult life. Because it's not all about me. I'd love to have to sacrifice my dignity for my family. It's a lesson I really need to learn, anyways. And apparently I type a bit too slowly, because Negoba beat me to most of the things I tried to say. Huh. Edited by LiquidEternity - September 15 2009 at 13:43 |
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Henry Plainview ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: May 26 2008 Location: Declined Status: Offline Points: 16715 |
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Exactly, perhaps the problem is that we're not good men. ;-)
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if you own a sodastream i hate you
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Slartibartfast ![]() Collaborator ![]() ![]() Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam Joined: April 29 2006 Location: Atlantais Status: Offline Points: 29630 |
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Relationships? No thanks, I'm trying to cut down.
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Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...
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Mr ProgFreak ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: November 08 2008 Location: Sweden Status: Offline Points: 5195 |
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Thanks ... but no thanks.
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toolis ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() Joined: April 26 2006 Location: MacedoniaGreece Status: Offline Points: 1678 |
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Chandler (Friends):
"And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say, 'No thanks, I'm married!!!" |
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-music is like pornography...
sometimes amateurs turn us on, even more... -sometimes you are the pigeon and sometimes you are the statue... |
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TODDLER ![]() Forum Senior Member ![]() ![]() VIP Member Joined: August 28 2009 Location: Vineland, N.J. Status: Offline Points: 3126 |
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This is my deal and it's just a different concept, but it's good to be aware of it. that is, if you are not already. In my youth I met some pretty interesting ladies. Ladies that expressed an abundance of common interest with me. A woman that listens to King Crimson's Lizard every week. A woman that reads and writes poetry. A woman that wants to be romantic. A woman that wants to take you to a jazz show. It's all really impressive to me. Let us say for example that the jazz show ended late on a Saturday night. She drives back home alone but does not answer the phone the next day. Why? Because she is now taking a beer drinkin", hoot and yellin' loud mouth guy to a rock concert. This is a typical double standard psychological concept that I experienced with women in the 70's and 80's. Lets skip through all my B.S. and sum the problem by stating that one must never get too excited over common interests in a relationship. It happens all the time. SEXUAL PROMISCUITY. It happens in the numbers.
As it turns out, the girl that runs to the store to buy cold medicine when your sick, or is willing to have a serious relationship, has opposite taste in music, movies, etc; All this hype for years about sharing a common interest does not always walk in hand with having a healthy relationship.
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