Relationships anyone?

I really don't understand a damn thing about relationships. I can kind of understand why someone would be single for their entire life without even knowing why their last relationship ended.

The thing is, I've been with a lot of females(serious friendships or actual relationships). I guess you kind of have to accept that they will just suddenly end for some scientifically unknown reason.

Just recently, I had this girl I've been pursuing for 4 months, just suddenly end it because she thinks I"m too pessimistic, and she doesn't even want to talk or be friends anymore after WANTING to talk all week, except I've been busy with schoolwork.

Another situation, there's this friend of mine who I messaged on facebook saying I wanted to know her more, and she seemed to accept it. Plus, it seemed like she liked me at one time. I was wanting to talk to her all weekend, but I knew she was away. I left a post on her wall, being in a casual sense "Hey! How was the sleep over?" since she was away at a sleep over of her entire soccer team.

When I came home from band practice last night, I noticed that she deleted my wall post, and seems to be just ignoring me now. I mean wtf gives!?!?!? It made me freak out a little when I saw that she deleted the post.

Last year I had my most serious friendship I've ever had, and she suddenly stopped talking to me because of events going on in her life, and then all her friends got really weird about it too, while in the meantime I was freaking out over the whole thing. I mean, she was the best girl I've ever had, and it just suddenly ended in a disaster for no explainable reason. Seriously, f**k that.

If anyone else is spending their life alone, discuss it here, I'm sure we'll connect.

well, i'm not alone in my life, but - trust me - i've had my share of dry spell, alright!!!

some points: i don't believe in friendship between man and woman, at least i wouldn't call it a friendship...

second of all, there's not a perfect match..

people may spend their entire lives and never get to know their more suitable match and others find it - and keep it - since childhood.. i have examples for both circumstances...

women are a different species who came from Mars to mate and then destroy human (man) race... that's a joke....

   love is life.. cliche as it sounds, it's true... hurt is also life... sad but true....

   whatever conclusio you may come to, don't give up.. go out there, love and be loved, get hurt, don't hurt, LIVE!!!!

   ok, that's about it....

StrengthandWisdom wrote: Slartibartfast wrote: How old are you anyway?  I could give you some sage advice that you might or might not find useful.  I spent a significant chunk of younger years alone and have now spent a slightly more significant period in two different steady relationships... I'm 18 years old, turning 19 in 3 months.

When I was 18 I was painfully shy.  My first long term relationship didn't happen until late 20's. 

My sage advice, there are more opportunities and avenues to meet partners out there than ever before.  If things don't click but you think there is potential, a little persistence is needed but move on and don't become a stalker if it's looking like a dead end.  (I'm beginning to feel a little like dear Abbey here).  I'm thinking coupling is natural for human beings.  It's really nice to have the support in life.  But you can find happiness in a solitary state, too. 

As to toolis' points, I think friendship is the foundation of a solid relationship, maybe we are just having a difference in terminology.  There is no perfect match, don't let the ideal of the perfect become the enemy of the very good.  My formula for success was to get to know one another extremely well before engaging in any serious commitments.

When I was 18 I thought you just had to treat them nicely and they'd appreciate it. How wrong I was..

SERIOUSLY, do not be pessimistic around women (if indeed you really are). I'm no authority, but women like their men to be positive, spotaneous and upbeat. It's the womens perogative to be moody..not yours...

Also, if you are a naturally negative person - and I'm not saying you are - but IF you are, women will detect this, even if you make an effort to 'seem' positive. I guess it's about being confident with who you are.

Edited by Blacksword - September 14 2009 at 16:13

The wise sage Jon Anderson (or was it Trevor Rabin) once sang "Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart".

Dean wrote: toolis wrote: second of all, there's not a perfect match.. There probably isn't, but I actually think that would be the nightmare scenario - it would be dull and predictable.

Ah, but what if someone's definition of a perfect match is someone unpredictable and exciting?  How would that be dull and predictable?

rushfan4 wrote: The wise sage Jon Anderson (or was it Trevor Rabin) once sang "Owner of a lonely heart, much better than the owner of a broken heart".

It depends, if it's a perfect match then they'll get whatever they want from you.  For all I know, the other person might want someone unpredictable and exciting too, then it'd be unpredictable and exciting for each of the involved parties. 

The problem I have is, it seems that its wrong to show interest in someone.

Every time I have done so, they always use weird/odd ways to show they aren't interested or for some reason hate you.

I feel like its a painful cycle.

tszirmay wrote: In my humble opinion in analyzing the human condition , the game continues but with even direr , media-fueled consequences. Most younger women are fascinated by bad boys (the greater the jerk, the heavier the attraction) and they seem to find good decent guys booooring (sounds like prog) . Perhaps when they get older they realize their folly but I see a deepening attraction for idiots even with alleged wisdom.  Many men are completely domesticated and cannot seem to buy underwear without some feminine approval. The absolute truth is that Western men are becoming wimpier and females more belligerent. (In fact, in most schools, girl violence is higher that male violence , go figure!!!!!) . I know these comments are perhaps viewed as generalizations but the trend is definitely there . Just go to your nearest shopping mall and observe.......(hopefully with some good prog blasting from your i-pod! )

Only, I KNOW this girl I spoke of earlier isn't into those kinds of guys.