No Smoking in Bars/Clubs?

In the old days the standard repost to "do you mind if I smoke?" was "do you mind if I fart?" - okay fair dues - I can't smoke in a bar - I've kept my side of the bargain so now will all the sanctimonious non-smokers stop farting in public places... that's not a request - the next person to break-wind in my presence leaves by the nearest window. It would also be appreciated if they bought deodorant now that the air is clear enough to smell their rank body odour - and yes Mr "My-Body-is-a-Temple", it really is necessary to shower before stopping off at the Pub for a swift pint on the way home from the gym.

 

And see that table outside, the one under the moth-eaten garden-parasol near the single propane outdoor heater that's never got any gas in it - that's now mine - so come Summer all you non-smokers can just fk-off if you even think about sitting there during the brief break in the rain to sup your half of bloody lager and eat your poor excuse for a bar-snack - I staked my claim to that crappy square yard of shelter through-out winter, through the sleet and snow, in temperatures below freezing when arctic gales ravaged the land and four layers of clothing failed to prevent hypothermia. While you were all snug and dry in the bar, laughing at us poor smokers huddling together for warmth and protection, you lost the right to use those outdoor facilities - the next self-righteous person say "We're eating here!" in a maner that I deem to be even remotely indignant gets the contents of the butt-bin dumped into the middle of their Burger and Fries.

 

Come to think of it - all outdoor spaces belong to me - if you are going to eat or drink outside I will sit next to you and light-up - I may even take up cigars just for the occasion.

 

 

They want to ban smoking in your car if you have kids, they want to ban it in your home if you live in an apartment.  Perhaps the last two are worthy of discussion, but the outdoor bans are just plain hostilily by the anti-smoking lobby. 

 

Dean, you made my day!!!