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Bern View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Topic: TLC's jokes!
    Posted: January 08 2007 at 23:50
In the vein of James' jokes thread, Mike and I created a whole bunch of jokes about one of everyone's favorite members, The Lost Chord Wink

Enjoy!

And, once again, feel free to participate.

  1. The Lost Chord doesn't post. He starts threads.
  2. When The Lost Chord was a baby, his mom fed him whiskey rather than breast milk.
  3. The Grand Canyon is a result of The Lost Chord farting.
  4. The Lost Chord went to McDonalds and ordered a church organ, and got one.
  5. The Lost Chord once started a thread that was so hilarious, God had to close it before it made anybody die of laughter.
  6. The Lost Chord can believe it's not butter.
  7. If it was for The Lost Chord, the Moody Blues would be named : OMFG LOLL AMZING MOODY BLUES PWNING THE sh*t LOLL WTF
  8. The Lost Chord doesn't need teeth, he's got a church organ.
  9. The Lost Chord can get an ordinary piano to play like a mellotron.
  10. It was once believed that Autumn ended after The Lost Chord farted so violently all the leaves fell from the trees.
  11. The Lost Chord lost all of his teeth after too much thread bumping.
  12. Music was great until 1979. Now, The Lost Chord drinks to forget about modern prog.
  13. When she gave birth to The Lost Chord, her mother suffered a lot. The church organ was hard to pull off of her.
  14. The Lost Chord gets drunk so he can bump threads without feeling pain.
  15. The Lost Chord started a thread in his notebook in history class, after 2 hours Tony R had already moved it to the proper location.
  16. If you want to invite The Lost Chord to a party, don't do it. He'll be there anyway.
  17. George Washington can see the future from beyond the grave.  He thought oral care had come a long way since his time... that is until he saw The Lost Chord.
  18. The Lost Chord got a ticket for playing Larks' Tounges in Aspic on the piano.
  19. The Lost Chord played the Mellotron for 90% of the bands in PA. He played church organ on the rest.
  20. When Benjamin Franklin said "Beer is living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy," he really meant "Beer is the only way anybody can tolerate The Lost Chord in person."
  21. "The Lost Chord" actually refers to TLC's lost dental floss.  It really shows.
  22. The Lost Chord is recording about 1500 classic prog albums a year to balance the amount of lame prog arriving since 1980.
  23. When Obelix was a kid, he fell into a barrel of magic potion. When The Lost Chord was a kid, he fell into a barrell of Vodka.
  24. If The Lost Chord ever reaches statehood, his state flower would be the hop.
  25. The Lost Chord is the b*****d son of a Mellotron and a bottle of beer.
  26. When The Lost Chord wakes up, he's nowhere near the place where he had fallen asleep.
  27. Once, The Lost Chord woke up and found out he was now the king of Holland.
  28. Accidently touching The Lost Chord results in a passing out due to alcohol abuse.
  29. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. That was about the time when God created The Lost Chord.
  30. The Lost Chord's blood is in fact Bloody Ceasar.
Tongue

No offense to anybody is meant here! Hug



Edited by Bern - January 09 2007 at 13:44

RIP in bossa nova heaven.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 08 2007 at 23:52
LOL

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:04
# 5 is my favorite. Great thread Bern! LOL Thumbs Up

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:28
Here is already a new batch I just came up with LOL :

  • The Lost Chord once gave blood. The hospital where he gave it is now a alcohol store.
  • The Lost Chord isn't a party animal. No animal party like The Lost Chord.
  • Giving The Lost Chord a blowjob is like getting a Whisky-flavored Popsicle.
  • The Lost Chord can simultaneously play as many piano symphonies as he got body parts.
  • A picture is worth a thousand words. A post from The Lost Chord is worth a thousand laughs.
  • The Lost Chord never throws up when he drinks. Church organs and Mellotrons are hard to clean.
  • The Lost Chord can go without eating or driking for weeks... as long as he's drunk.
  • Old Chinese sages have invented the art of drunken fighting. The Lost Chord has invented the art of drunken posting.



Edited by Bern - January 09 2007 at 00:35

RIP in bossa nova heaven.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:47
-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

-TLC once actually started a thread in the right forum. It was moved anyway.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:48
Originally posted by bhikkhu bhikkhu wrote:

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

-TLC once actually started a thread in the right forum. It was moved anyway.


LOLClap


Edited by Bern - January 09 2007 at 00:49

RIP in bossa nova heaven.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:08
Originally posted by bhikkhu bhikkhu wrote:

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

-TLC once actually started a thread in the right forum. It was moved anyway.
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:14
genius thread, maybe he'll catch on to why he annoys so many mods, Wink
back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:20

Amusing thread (this 'Chord fella sounds like my typa guy).

"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:21
^^ you mean a mindless Tull fan!?

i kid i kid

Tongue
back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:22
Well then, Mr. Opeth Guitarist...I kid you not; your signature makes me burst out laughing for some reason. Kudos.
"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:14
LOL
 
Brilliant stuff!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:38
I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:39
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.



Only if he learns to laugh at himself. LOL


Just joking, of course. Big smile
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:50
Seems like TLC himself has not gotten around to reading this thread yet.

How do I know? The thread has still not been moved by Tony R.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:05
One more.

- I had a life changing experience. Amazingly enough, at the time I wasn't visiting TLC at Manhattan College.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:10
I read a thread by TLC and I was writing a huge reply. When I was done the thread was closed! It yelled at me You can NOT post! I fell out of my seat and had to crawl back to my keyboard.Cry







Wink
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:44
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.


Yeah I mean no offense at all with this thread. Smile

RIP in bossa nova heaven.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:47
Great fun! This one's my favourite:

Originally posted by bhikkhu bhikkhu wrote:

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.


LOL
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: January 09 2007 at 16:15
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every church organ, there is The Lost Chord.
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