Just for Fun - TLC's jokes!

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TLC's jokes!

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Category: Topics not related to music
Forum Name: Just for Fun
Forum Description: Participate in trivia and knowledge games, share jokes, etc.
URL: http://www.progarchives.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=32995
Printed Date: December 13 2024 at 17:37
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Topic: TLC's jokes!

Posted By: Bern
Subject: TLC's jokes!
Date Posted: January 08 2007 at 23:50

In the vein of James' jokes thread, Mike and I created a whole bunch of jokes about one of everyone's favorite members, The Lost Chord Wink

Enjoy!

And, once again, feel free to participate.

The Lost Chord doesn't post. He starts threads.
When The Lost Chord was a baby, his mom fed him whiskey rather than breast milk.
The Grand Canyon is a result of The Lost Chord farting.
The Lost Chord went to McDonalds and ordered a church organ, and got one.
The Lost Chord once started a thread that was so hilarious, God had to close it before it made anybody die of laughter.
The Lost Chord can believe it's not butter.
If it was for The Lost Chord, the Moody Blues would be named : OMFG LOLL AMZING MOODY BLUES PWNING THE sh*t LOLL WTF
The Lost Chord doesn't need teeth, he's got a church organ.
The Lost Chord can get an ordinary piano to play like a mellotron.
It was once believed that Autumn ended after The Lost Chord farted so violently all the leaves fell from the trees.
The Lost Chord lost all of his teeth after too much thread bumping.
Music was great until 1979. Now, The Lost Chord drinks to forget about modern prog.
When she gave birth to The Lost Chord, her mother suffered a lot. The church organ was hard to pull off of her.
The Lost Chord gets drunk so he can bump threads without feeling pain.
The Lost Chord started a thread in his notebook in history class, after 2 hours Tony R had already moved it to the proper location.
If you want to invite The Lost Chord to a party, don't do it. He'll be there anyway.
George Washington can see the future from beyond the grave. He thought oral care had come a long way since his time... that is until he saw The Lost Chord.
The Lost Chord got a ticket for playing Larks' Tounges in Aspic on the piano.
The Lost Chord played the Mellotron for 90% of the bands in PA. He played church organ on the rest.
When Benjamin Franklin said "Beer is living proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy," he really meant "Beer is the only way anybody can tolerate The Lost Chord in person."
"The Lost Chord" actually refers to TLC's lost dental floss. It really shows.
The Lost Chord is recording about 1500 classic prog albums a year to balance the amount of lame prog arriving since 1980.
When Obelix was a kid, he fell into a barrel of magic potion. When The Lost Chord was a kid, he fell into a barrell of Vodka.
If The Lost Chord ever reaches statehood, his state flower would be the hop.
The Lost Chord is the b*****d son of a Mellotron and a bottle of beer.
When The Lost Chord wakes up, he's nowhere near the place where he had fallen asleep.
Once, The Lost Chord woke up and found out he was now the king of Holland.
Accidently touching The Lost Chord results in a passing out due to alcohol abuse.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. That was about the time when God created The Lost Chord.
The Lost Chord's blood is in fact Bloody Ceasar.

No offense to anybody is meant here! Hug

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Replies:

Posted By: The Miracle
Date Posted: January 08 2007 at 23:52

The essence of masterliness Approve

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http://www.last.fm/user/ocellatedgod" rel="nofollow - last.fm

Posted By: chamberry
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:04

# 5 is my favorite. Great thread Bern! LOL

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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:28

Here is already a new batch I just came up with LOL

The Lost Chord once gave blood. The hospital where he gave it is now a alcohol store.
The Lost Chord isn't a party animal. No animal party like The Lost Chord.
Giving The Lost Chord a blowjob is like getting a Whisky-flavored Popsicle.
The Lost Chord can simultaneously play as many piano symphonies as he got body parts.
A picture is worth a thousand words. A post from The Lost Chord is worth a thousand laughs.
The Lost Chord never throws up when he drinks. Church organs and Mellotrons are hard to clean.
The Lost Chord can go without eating or driking for weeks... as long as he's drunk.
Old Chinese sages have invented the art of drunken fighting. The Lost Chord has invented the art of drunken posting.

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: bhikkhu
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:47

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

-TLC once actually started a thread in the right forum. It was moved anyway.

-------------
a.k.a. H.T.

http://riekels.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow - http://riekels.wordpress.com

Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 00:48

bhikkhu wrote:

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

-TLC once actually started a thread in the right forum. It was moved anyway.

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: Man With Hat
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:08

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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.

Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:14

genius thread, maybe he'll catch on to why he annoys so many mods, Wink

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back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums

Posted By: The Whistler
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:20

Amusing thread (this 'Chord fella sounds like my typa guy).

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"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson

Posted By: OpethGuitarist
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:21

^^ you mean a mindless Tull fan!?

i kid i kid

Tongue

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back from the dead, i will begin posting reviews again and musing through the forums

Posted By: The Whistler
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 01:22

Well then, Mr. Opeth Guitarist...I kid you not; your signature makes me burst out laughing for some reason. Kudos.

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"There seem to be quite a large percentage of young American boys out there tonight. A long way from home, eh? Well so are we... Gotta stick together." -I. Anderson

Posted By: Bj-1
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:14

Brilliant stuff!

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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!

Posted By: Easy Livin
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:38

I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.

Posted By: progismylife
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:39

Easy Livin wrote:

I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.

Only if he learns to laugh at himself. LOL

Just joking, of course. Big smile

Posted By: magnus
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 11:50

Seems like TLC himself has not gotten around to reading this thread yet.

How do I know? The thread has still not been moved by Tony R.

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The scattered jigsaw of my redemption laid out before my eyes
Each piece as amorphous as the other - Each piece in its lack of shape a lie

Posted By: bhikkhu
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:05

One more.

- I had a life changing experience. Amazingly enough, at the time I wasn't visiting TLC at Manhattan College.

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a.k.a. H.T.

http://riekels.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow - http://riekels.wordpress.com

Posted By: progismylife
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:10

I read a thread by TLC and I was writing a huge reply. When I was done the thread was closed! It yelled at me You can NOT post! I fell out of my seat and had to crawl back to my keyboard. Cry

Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:44

Easy Livin wrote:

I'm sure TLC will understand that we're not laughing at him, we're laughing with him.

Yeah I mean no offense at all with this thread. Smile

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: Philéas
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 13:47

Great fun! This one's my favourite:

bhikkhu wrote:

-TLC had a good idea for a thread yesterday. But when he went to post it, he found that Tony had already closed it.

Posted By: Mikerinos
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 16:15

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every church organ, there is The Lost Chord.

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Posted By: Angelo
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 16:36

I'm confused - are we talking about

- The Lost Chord
- The Lost (dental floss) Cord
- The Lost Cause

?

EDIT: The best joke he made himself, naming a thread "Why are all my posts crap now?" LOL

Keep it up TLC!

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http://www.iskcrocks.com" rel="nofollow - ISKC Rock Radio
I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected]

Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 17:44

Italian Symphonic prog was in fact invented when The Lost Chord tried to sing classic british prog after having drunk way too much alcohol.

LOL

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: bhikkhu
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 17:54

Bern wrote:

Italian Symphonic prog was in fact invented when The Lost Chord tried to sing classic british prog after having drunk way too much alcohol.

Actually, I think it was Zeuhl.

-------------
a.k.a. H.T.

http://riekels.wordpress.com" rel="nofollow - http://riekels.wordpress.com

Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 17:56

bhikkhu wrote:

Bern wrote:

Italian Symphonic prog was in fact invented when The Lost Chord tried to sing classic british prog after having drunk way too much alcohol.

Actually, I think it was Zeuhl.

The noises he let out while unconscious were the roots of Zeuhl and Avant Prog. Wink

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: Bj-1
Date Posted: January 09 2007 at 17:59

The Moody Blues was originally a Hard Rock/Heavy Metal band, But TLC didn't want them that way so he got them to play the music they're known for today.

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RIO/AVANT/ZEUHL - The best thing you can get with yer pants on!

Posted By: Pnoom!
Date Posted: February 21 2007 at 15:42

The Lost Chord would post about how perfect he is, but he can't ever seem to get the spelling in such a way that a normal human being could understand it.

Posted By: Chus
Date Posted: February 21 2007 at 16:15

TLC is a great source of knowledge and information..

I love "The Learning Channel"

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Jesus Gabriel

Posted By: The Lost Chord
Date Posted: March 01 2007 at 22:12

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"Only the sun knew why"

Posted By: The Lost Chord
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 00:31

Bluesaga wrote:

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every church organ, there is The Lost Chord.

Heres one! behind every anti-social moronic asshole is a community of idiots on a forum called progarchives.com

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"Only the sun knew why"

Posted By: MadcapLaughs84
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 01:43

Bern wrote:

Here is already a new batch I just came up with LOL

Giving The Lost Chord a blowjob is like getting a Whisky-flavored Popsicle.

How do you know??? LOL.

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Posted By: MadcapLaughs84
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 01:53

Bern wrote:

bhikkhu wrote:

Bern wrote:

Italian Symphonic prog was in fact invented when The Lost Chord tried to sing classic british prog after having drunk way too much alcohol. %20align=absMiddle%20smileys%20smiley36.gif=

%20align=absMiddle%20smileys%20smiley36.gif=

Actually, I think it was Zeuhl.

The noises he let out while unconscious were the roots of Zeuhl and Avant Prog. Wink

And some voices of Post rock were created by him too

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Posted By: Melomaniac
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 10:46

It is believed that The Lost Chord is actually the reincarnation of a female groupie who committed suicide after John Lennon's murder because she couldn't bear the pain of living without him ; others suggests he is the reincarnation of Janis Joplin.

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"One likes to believe in the freedom of Music" - Neil Peart, The Spirit of Radio

Posted By: The Lost Chord
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 12:38

i am going to print all of these on a mat in old english text and frame it.

Thanks guys!

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"Only the sun knew why"

Posted By: Raff
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 12:43

Bern wrote:

Italian Symphonic prog was in fact invented when The Lost Chord tried to sing classic british prog after having drunk way too much alcohol.

LOL

Wait until the King of ISP Heart

sees that.... LOL

Posted By: Angelo
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 12:51

inpraiseoffolly wrote:

The Lost Chord would post about how perfect he is, but he can't ever seem to get the spelling in such a way that a normal human being could understand it.

The spelling obfuscates his even more complicated grammar - it's a layers thing...

-------------
http://www.iskcrocks.com" rel="nofollow - ISKC Rock Radio
I stopped blogging and reviewing - so won't be handling requests. Promo's for ariplay can be sent to [email protected]

Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 12:52

14 was my favourite. LOL

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Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:06

TLC was once invited to play Mellotron for King Crimson, but when he turned up, Fripp beat him up with his stool, for being too damned happy. This became the ending of Moonchild.

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Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:08

Good one Geck0!

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: Bern
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:10

For school, TLC wrote an essay on The Civil War using only a mellotron.

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RIP in bossa nova heaven.

Posted By: stonebeard
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:15

TLC once went deep into the South American jungle, looking for perfect wood to construct the best mellotron ever. While there, he sampled some of the local whiskey....for 3 days. On the third day, he suddenly had to relieve himself, so he pissed in a small river. This river became the Fountain of Youth.

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http://soundcloud.com/drewagler" rel="nofollow - My soundcloud. Please give feedback if you want!

Posted By: mystic fred
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:26

TLC should be called "ECHO".....

...HE JUST KEEPS ON BOUNCING BACK!

prog on Brian!

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Prog Archives Tour Van

Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 13:31

TLC once made a girl laugh. She was a robot.

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Posted By: The Lost Chord
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 15:05

lmfao!

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"Only the sun knew why"

Posted By: Chris H
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 15:07

TLC once made a girl laugh. She was a mellotron sales person.

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Beauty will save the world.

Posted By: VanderGraafKommandöh
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 15:11

Girl: Is that a grand piano down your pants?
TLC: Yes
Girl: Oh!

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Posted By: Chus
Date Posted: March 02 2007 at 15:16

TLC once made a girl laugh.. she was his church organ instructor

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Jesus Gabriel

Posted By: MadcapLaughs84
Date Posted: March 03 2007 at 02:05

TLC actually played the church organ for deaf people

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Posted By: Mikerinos
Date Posted: March 28 2007 at 23:36

*Mickey, Arrrghus and Mickey playing DnD and smoking crayons*

Mickey : We shall go on a quest to unravel the mysteries of our mind that is messed up by continuous spasms created by intravenous land slides...

TLC : WTF I SAY WE GO IN SEARCH OF THE LOST CHORD!! LOLOLOL OMFG THE MOODIES ARE AWESOME!

Arrghus (rock out mode) : Guys! I just rolled a 20!

*Flossy appears out of nowhere*

Flossy : N00bs! Warriors are so white! Samurais pwn them! ULKULKULK

*Velvet Room playing Monopoly*

Arrrghus: Yeah! You landed on my residence (rock out mode) PAY ME $150!!

James: Blastphlabbet!! You stupid n00b bought the residence with the most obscure sounding name! I hate you!

Arrrghus: (rock out mode) PAY UP!!

James: Well, I don't have money, it's good and all but savings bonds are much better!

*One Minute Later*

Mike: James, you forgot to collect your $200 after passing go.

James: Collecting $200 is good and all, but not collecting it is so much more RIO!

TLC: OMFG OMFG ANYBODY WANT TO BREAK IN A CHURCH RIGHT NOW AND JAM SOME MOODIES ON THE ORGAN? HAHAHAHALOLOLOL

Bern: Uhhh, I don't think you can do that in Monopoly.

TLC: WHAT THE HELL IS MONOPOLY?

*The crew playing Mortal Kombat*

Arrrrghus (rocking out) : ALRIGHT! TIME TO FINISH YOU OFF JAMES!

James : I'm glad I'm dead. Liking to win is good and all but liking to lose is much more obscure and satisfying.

TLC : LOLOLOL JOHNNY CAGE = JAM !! OMFG GUYS I KNOW! LET'S JAM ON A MELLOTRON RIGHT NOW!

Flossy : Liu Kang pwns the white n00b's ass! ULKULKULK

Jar Jar Travers : LOLOLOLOL GUUUYS!!! I'VE JUST FARTED!!

James Postspammer : Farting in a small spaceship is good and all but you should try the light side of the Force. It's much better.

Jar Jar Travers : OMFG DOES THAT MAKE ME A JEDI?!?! WTF LOLOL

Fah Zi Wang Kenobi : The Light side is soooo white. N00bs!

Hot teacher : "Brian, what is Germany's capital?"

TLC : "OMFG I SOOOO DUNNO WTF MOODIE AREN'T GERMAN LOLOLOL YOUR ASS IS FRIGGIN SEXY AS ALL HELL LOLOL OMFG!"

Zac : "Berlin! Es ist Berlin!"

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Posted By: markosherrera
Date Posted: March 28 2007 at 23:55

The Lost Chord wrote:

mucha dinamita pero con la mecha corta!!!!!BIG DINAMITE WITH A SHORT FUSE!!!!