James' jokes

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I and Mike have compiled a list of Chuck Norris inspired James jokes. Here it is. Feel free to invent your own. 

It was proven that if James ever get a job, cancer will be cured all over the world. It is also proven that cancer will never be cured.
James doesn't just post, he stares at his screen until the posts appear.
When James was 10 years old, some random guy pwned him. This guy is still pwning him today.
Guns don't kill people.  James' high post kills people from baffling their minds until they spontaneously combust.
James has two speeds.  Sit, and Spam.
James does not sleep. He posts.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his computer chair for James.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to post on the same forum as James.
James posted to infinity... twice.
In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of British women were spied on by James. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
There is no infinity, the highest number is James' current post count.
Think of a hot woman. James is masturbating to her right now.
For James' job applications (hypothetical, of course), he puts one of his strengths is multi-tasking.  He can post and masturbate to Debby pictures simultaneously.
We live in an expanding universe. All of this is caused by James' rising post count.
There is no anti-matter, only matter James deems n00by because it composes a Genesis CD.
The world is great but James is so much better.
The sun will one day explode, but that'll be around the time James gets a job, so nobody will have to worry for thousands of years.
Don't ask what time it is to Jamesl cause there is only one time for him : Posting time.
Girls don't scream "Yes, yes" when having sex with Jamesl, they scream "Astrid Proll".
James' n00bness is so grand that it can be noticed from outer space.
James' first job was as a paperboy. Just kidding. He never had a job.
When James bathes, he isn't wet. It's the water that is ashamed.
There are two types of people in the world : n00bs and James.
70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of James' weight is his post count.
How many James does it take to switch a lightbulb? None. James prefers obscure stuff.
When James does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's calling the Earth a n00b and it goes down.
James eats Marillion CDs and sh*ts them out as Astrid Proll's debut.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United Kingdom are: 1. Heart disease, 2. James' post count, 3. Cancer

Edited by Bern - December 13 2006 at 21:36

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