 inpraiseoffolly wrote:
^^^^ That can be our other bonus live promotional track. I'll get onto the potato epic. Expect it to be up soon. We'll call the whole thing "Potato's Ready."
It will incorporate Morning, Afternoon, Evening, and Night in a Potato field.
And it'll rock your socks. |
OK, here we go... (rubs his hands)...
Potato's Ready: A Day in the Fields
Morning in the Potato Fields
Mornings in the potato fields
I get up and work our yearly yield
THat I may someday eat
And grow to be big and strong
And live for a time quite long
Long enought to serve in the marine fleet
Yes, I want to be a soldier boy
Playing with guns instead of toys
I want to serve my country
As more than just some old farmhand
Forever working the land
I want to be in the royal army
But I've got to work my way there
Grow potatoes and always say my prayers
Like me paps always said I should
I did as he said, and saw my chance
To enter the deadly duty dance
To become a soldier quite good
I wanted to
Be a soldier
Bolder than you ever could know
No more would I potatoes grow
I would be a real man
Not just working the land
I'd be a national hero
Saving all the pretty gals
From the dangerous battlefields
But for now I'm just a farmhand
Working mornings in the potato fields
And I though to my good old self
It's time to put my farmboy life on the shelf
And be who I really want to be
Because in all the world that I know
That is, my lonely field of potatoes
I know that I'm the only me
And I want to
Be a soldier
Bolder than you ever could know
No more would I potatoes grow
I would be a real man
Not just working the land
I'd be a national hero
Saving the gals, you know
From the dangerous battlefields
But for now I'm just a farmhand
Working mornings in the potato fields
Ah, but wait
I've heard I get a lunch break
It's then that I'll make my escape
Afternoon in the Potato Fields
Well, on my out
I met a lovely girl
Who was kind to me
We stopped to chat
And she tricked me
Back into servility
Oh, woe is me
She had lovely eyes
And an hourglass figure
That all went together right
But as it turned out
Rather poorly for me
My master was a transvestite
Oh, what a sight
I told him I weren't working no more
For a guy who dressed to play the whore
He said to me, oh, just please don't tell
Perhaps if you went, it'd be just as well
Just don't give my secret away
Or you'll have mighty hell to pay
And on that note
He gave me a sound whippin
And put me into shape
Then dragged me by the ear
To a place I'd never been
Outside the farm gate
Oh, was it great
I was free as a bird to fly
And the army surely couldn't pass me by
I was in great shape and owned a gun
Well, actually, I found a broken one
But still, the army's waiting for me
And I'm off to serve my country
They took one look and said to me
You're our boy, here, put on these
Sign your soul over with these papers
How could things for us get any greater
They exclaimed in great celebration
I had come to defend the nation
Evening in the Potato Field
Evenings in the potato fields
I'm usually working late
To put those starchy things
Onto all y'all's plates
But when I ran away
No one was left to obey
And the master was not paid
Because he couldn't produce
Evenings in the potato fields
I used to burn off fat
But now I'm in the army
And they take care of that
So I wasn't working the fields today
Because, you see, I had run away
But all the time I now had to pray
Was not of very much use
Potato's ready
The sergeant master called
Handing us each an empty plate
We asked where the potato's were
That ole farmhand done gone away
Was all that sergeant had to say
As he gave us each our fair share
Of what I had produced
Which was nothing
As you may have deduced
Afraid for my life, should the other soldiers learn
I ran to the only place I had left to turn
Back to a life working the land
Back to a master with whip in hand
NIghts in the Potato Fields
I ran without looking back
A deserter to the bone
But I had to get home
To provide your potato snacks
I trampled on many a flower
As I raced towards the farm
And outstrectched my arm
To exercise bargaining power
After all, the master knew I knew
The secret he wished to hide
And some coins he did me slide
For what else was he to do
He gave me a thrashin' good
Beatin' me nearly to death
Without stopping for a breath
As I knew he would
The army people, they came
To undesert you-know-who
But I told them the secret I knew
And it made them rather lame
They couldn't stop laughing
And so I made my last dash
Trees and bushes rushing past
Out beyond their evil reach
Until I rushed a bit to far
And got some few scars
From falling off a cliff
I landed in some place
That I did not know
And as I nursed my injuries
I saw something... mmm potatos...
And they even have a taste
And the last thought before I died
The very last muse
That I had that night in a potato field
Was that I had to know
Which brand of fertilizer they used
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