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Topic ClosedSome of the reviewers deserve to be shot.

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James Lee View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 07:55

^ yep, that's ripe for deletion.

Though it does give plenty of ammunition to folks who believe homophobia masks latent tendencies.

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 07:57
homophobia is that when you΄re afraid of your home ??????? 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 07:59
then there's homeownerphobia, when you can only associate with renters.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 08:02
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 08:04
See ya at the Morgage 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 08:51

Looks like the original's been deleted - now we're left with half a discussion in the reviews!

This is why I think anyone who wants to write a review should REGISTER first - then they can discuss it in the forums with the rest of us!

YES Relayer
Review by Roger @ 4:16:49 AM EST, 4/5/2005

5 stars  —  This lines for progmaster: I am chocked that you let the "Robert le Plant" review on line. You have to delete this review full off racism and insanities. This man is not a prog lover and has nothing to do here. Many thanks in advance.


YES Relayer
Review by Raelrules @ 5:10:16 AM EST, 4/5/2005

5 stars  —  This album is superb period. Concerning le Plant's attack on Jon Anderson, his stance is paradoxal (not to mention just plain nasty and intolerant), in that he professes himself, an undisguised affection for sweat drenched male bodies, hairy torsos and perfectly suared jaws, go figure. All I can say is.. get a life !


YES Relayer
Review by Tony Dodd @ 5:19:12 AM EST, 4/5/2005

5 stars  —  Note to "Robert le Plant"; 1) John Anderson isn't gay. 2) So what if he was. 3) You are deliberately offensive and don't express yourself very well; you may have other issues in your life which explain this. 4) You don't like the album - that's perfectly OK. Lots of people more intelligent than you don't like it either. 5) I would be happy to read some more positive reviews from you, perhaps of albums that you do like. Smile and be happy.


YES Relayer
Review by iguana @ 8:09:38 AM EST, 4/5/2005

3 stars  —  look, you fools, let me whack all THREE of you on the head – robert le plant: nice try to start up a bit of an argument and to polarize opinions, but boy did you screw up... you made a right dork out of yourself with your childish homophobic attitude *yawn* + raelrules & tony dodd: you folks are perfect proof that progressive rock listeners have no sense of humour at all, concerning that we are supposed to be intellectually MILES above thick pieces of sh*t like him. how very sad indeed ... erm, good album! the swiss poodle was an interesting addition and "sound chaser" & "to be over" were almost destined to be outshadowed by "the gates of delirium". not the best album to start off your YES-collection, though, you'll be better of with "drama" as a first ;-)>

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 09:08

LATEST PROGRESSIVE ROCK REVIEWS
YES Relayer progressive rock album and reviews YES - Relayer
Review by iguana @ 8:09:38 AM EST, 4/5/2005
3 stars  —   look, you fools, let me whack all THREE of you on the head – robert le plant: nice try to start up a bit of an argument and to polarize opinions, but boy did you screw up... you made a right dork out of yourself with your childish homophobic attitude *yawn* + raelrules & tony dodd: you folks are perfect proof that progressive rock listeners have no sense of humour at all, concerning that we are supposed to be intellectually MILES above thick pieces of sh*t like him. how very sad indeed ... erm, good album! the swiss poodle was an interesting addition and "sound chaser" & "to be over" were almost destined to be outshadowed by "the gates of delirium". not the best album to start off your YES-collection, though, you'll be better of with "drama" as a first ;-)>

 

I don't like the beginning of it. Is editting possible?

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 09:14
The last thing we want is for the reviews section to read like the forum.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 05 2005 at 18:44
EMERSon LAKE & PALMER ELP Works Vol. 1  progressive rock album and reviews EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1
Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005
1 stars  —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album
 
 
 
I give that review a five ouch rating  ... irony overload 
Come on then hands up ,who's responsible?..Reed?? Certified??   
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 00:26

how can one compare pirates to village people??Confused

[HEADPINS - LINE OF FIRE: THE RECORD HAVING THE MOST POWERFUL GUITAR SOUND IN THE WHOLE HISTORY OF MUSIC!>
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 07:54
Originally posted by richardh richardh wrote:

EMERSon LAKE & PALMER ELP Works Vol. 1  progressive rock album and reviews EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1
Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005
1 stars  —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album
 
 
 
I give that review a five ouch rating  ... irony overload 
Come on then hands up ,who's responsible?..Reed?? Certified??   

Not me,my computers been in the PC shop.

Bloody good review though! Why has it been removed?Wink




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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:03

LMAO!!!

That is very funny, intelligently if insensitively written - and it is about the album. It should not have been removed, IMO - it's just an opinion and doesn't go complaining about the site, forum members or other off-topic nonsense.

If that was removed, then we should remove all the other less than complimentary reviews - starting with Radiohead. There should be NO reviews of less than 5 stars for them...

 

I didn't write this one - but I think I can feel an ELP review coming on...

 

I just checked out the other reviews - and this is consistent with and no worse than any of the existing reviews.

Maybe we should have a poll for the re-instatement of that review

BRING BACK KARNEVIL NEIN!!!



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:17
Originally posted by richardh richardh wrote:

EMERSon LAKE & PALMER ELP Works Vol. 1  progressive rock album and reviews EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1
Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005
1 stars  —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album
 
 
 
I give that review a five ouch rating  ... irony overload 
Come on then hands up ,who's responsible?..Reed?? Certified??   

Sorry, Richardh!! But even if not valid , this review had me rolling on the floor with laughter. Have not laughed so hard in this forum since the Lightbulb thread . But since I only moderately appreciate ELP - I would rate them a 7/10 for overall achievement in prog respect, I am not likely to be as offended by such attacks. The fact that I do not hold the album in a great esteem of course helps me laugh about it .

On a more serious basis, I was against limiting access to the reviewing part, but the Relayer bit (also sort of  funny) and this one , it looks like a limiting access might be a solution. This constant stupid and dumb attacks are counter-productive although many people are out to look for these attacks to have them retrieved (which is good but also non-productive). This is like a circus (but there are clowns in circusses) 

let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:18
That review is hilarious (I've not heard the album so have no idea how accurate it is), and as far as i can tell the writer of it didn't break any rules, so what you go and delete it for?
We Lost the Skyline............


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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:20

Originally posted by Metropolis Metropolis wrote:

That review is hilarious (I've not heard the album so have no idea how accurate it is), and as far as i can tell the writer of it didn't break any rules, so what you go and delete it for?

It is not very respectful of ELP.

let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:23
I think thats a great review, and to be honest I dont understand people getting 'offended' by bad reviews of their favourite artists. So what if someone doesn't like what you like? Even if their review completely ignores the music and just launches a personal attack on the band, so what? Prog rock bands have endured the wrath of proffessional journos over the years, whose scribblings are not really any better than some of the crap reviews we get here. The artists still had armies of fans like us lining their bank accounts and keeping them in their champagne/cocaine lifestyles. They dont give a sh!t why should we?
Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:26

Some other existing reviews - by respected PROG REVIEWERS of this forum;

 

EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) Works Vol. 1
Review by Bryan Adair @ 3:22:52 PM EST, 7/5/2004

PROG REVIEWER

2 stars  —  Here's the exact point where ELP's egos became out of control. Three solo sides, one full band side. It was a doomed project, given the musicians involved in this band. We get a fairly boring classical side from Keith Emerson, on which he pulls a Rick Wakeman and abandons substance in favour of showing us all just how talented he is, a bunch of Greg Lake's generic ballads, all of which seem like attempts to clone his better ones like "Lucky Man" and "Still... You Turn Me On", and a decent but unremarkable collection of compositions from Carl Palmer. Carl's side isn't really bad, but it's very boring musically, and simply failed to catch my interest. The band side is the only thing keeping this album from a 1 star, featuring a great rock adaptation of Aaron Copeland's "Fanfare For the Common Man", and a delightful 13 minute track in "Pirates". However, it's not worth buying a 2 disc collection of songs for one side, and as a result I can't give Works Vol. 1 any more than a 2. Its moments are great, but they're so buried in boring musical w**kery that it's sometimes difficult to appreciate them. Still, it WAS better than anything that could come after it, so I give it credit for that.
 
 
EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) Works Vol. 1
Review by Phil M. @ 11:38:42 AM EST, 1/26/2004

PROG REVIEWER
1 stars  —  Amazingly AWFUL is the only way I can think to describe this bloated abomination!

It was obvious that their over-fed egos had gotten the better of them at this point.

The "Piano Concerto" amounts to nothing more than a bunch of textbook post-Romantic Period cliches strung together, Keith, you are NO Rachmaninoff or Brahams! The Greg Lake stuff just wallows in sappiness, the Carl Palmer tracks are forgettable and the rest is just pure commercialized SCHLOCK! This almost makes Mannheim Steamroller sound like Stravinsky or Varese'! Worse, not a note of Hammond Organ to be found ANYWHERE, cheesy synth sounds in overkill mode and you get the picture.

Best possible use: clay pigeon substitute
 
 
 
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 08:59

The stuff about mommy Palmer and the birthday present , although funny is too limit unrespectful of the man's talent (however over-rated)

Bryan's review and Phil talk about the album in a correct manner and explain why they do not like it in a good argumentative way. A few months ago , Three fates wanted to take some ELP reviews away because she did not like them and I argued for those remained posted. In this case, this is meant to get under someone's skin - if need be look at the name of the reviewer.

This is clearly a spoof and it got me a good laugh!!!

 

let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 09:02
Apart from the fact that neither Pete Waterman nor LOLLittle Jimmy Osmond were part of the project and of course it was only 15 weeks at No 1 in Albania!Tongue



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: April 06 2005 at 10:23
Originally posted by AngelRat AngelRat wrote:

The mental image I have of reviewers like this is that of some spotty 14-year old kid who's sitting alone in his room behind his pc, he obviously has no friends and certainly no girlfriend (who wants some ugly retard like that). The kids at school laugh at him because he's bad at sports and his mother provided him with extremely bad taste in clothing. His parents want him to be a rocket scientist or a real smooth lawyer, but he'll probably end up like an third grade employee in a grocery store instead.

Frustrated as he is he alternates his hour long obsessive masturbation sessions with writing of his anger with real lame reviews on random sites hoping to finally get some recognition.

 

Well shucks, I was going to write a bio of my own, but you saved me the trouble.

Thanx.

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