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Olympus 
Forum Senior Member 
Joined: August 18 2005 Location: Australia Status: Offline Points: 545 |
 Topic: Your opinion on these lyrics i wrote...Posted: August 27 2005 at 02:29 |
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I think they look very good. all you need to do is sort out uor instrementation.
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"Let's get the hell away from this Eerie-ass piece of work so we can get on with the rest of our eerie-ass day"
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Certif1ed
Special Collaborator 
Honorary Collaborator Joined: April 08 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 7559 |
Posted: November 22 2004 at 03:13 |
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That'll be more flair than you have for wit, then |
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Prog_Bassist
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 29 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 830 |
Posted: November 21 2004 at 19:58 |
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hahaha. I forgot about that. Glenn...glenn who? |
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Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187 |
Posted: November 21 2004 at 16:44 |
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No you dont deserve them.I fully endorse that comment. You lot have as much flair for poetry as er... erm.....someone who is not very good at poetry.
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Certif1ed
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: April 08 2004 Location: England Status: Offline Points: 7559 |
Posted: November 21 2004 at 16:37 |
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Wow! I want to thank you guys for your kind comments! I know I don't deserve them - If you PN me with your email addy, I'll send you the current mix of the song.
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:56 |
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That reminds me of a poem I wrote Reedy....I'll share it with ya!! |
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Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:54 |
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I have one of them weeks every day! |
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:49 |
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:40 |
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 Edited by Peter Rideout |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:21 |
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You want me to throw him in the Pit Of Ineffable Doom, El Presidente?
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Peter
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: January 31 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 9669 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 15:14 |
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Hint: Question can be answered with a "yes" a "no" or a simple "p*ss off!" |
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"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy. |
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 14:41 |
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OH Reed....I would never fall out with ya over this....it just isn't your cup of tea. Not sure why your ears are howling over this though |
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Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 14:28 |
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^Stop,man, stop! You have as much talent for lyric-writing as you have for pulling birds. I just know you are going to fall out with me over this but the others are obviously too polite to tell you. My ears are howling at the sound of barrels being scraped. My stomach starts to quiver I try to scream......... DESIST! Edited by Reed Lover |
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 14:23 |
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Here's a strange one. The chorus bit never sat well with me though.Too repetitive and was never happy with the lyrics. This was one of the last we did in my days with the band. It had a bit of a funky beat(sort of like Primus) coupled with a hard driving alernative sound. After my departure they tried to get their new singer to do this song, but he was never able to master the unusual singing style I incorporated with it as well as the odd times I would jump in and out.....something of which I was quite proud to know that I wasn't terribly easy to replace. Bong Water
See the crack on the wall
the blood seaps through the hole
see it writhe
The putrid slime begins to crawl
convulsing uncontrolled
see it slide
(Chorus)
Disarm your hate
and your mistrust
but it's too late
you turned to dust
My dry throat begins to water
rotten stench flows to my nose
see the bile
My stomach starts to quiver
and I start to shiver
out of control
(Chorus)
Red eyes stare at the ceiling
malevolent shadows threaten to
engulf my soul
Pock marks start appearing
infecting the chair
I sit upon
(Chorus)
I try to scream
choke on the roaches falling
to the ground
Masterbation
infatuation
paranoia
all around
(Chorus)
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arcer
Prog Reviewer 
Joined: September 01 2004 Location: United Kingdom Status: Offline Points: 1239 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 14:19 |
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Indeed, much respect, been there, not nice and I was 30 when my parents went
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Reed Lover
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 16 2004 Location: Sao Tome and Pr Status: Offline Points: 5187 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 14:13 |
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Respect P-B!
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gdub411
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 24 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 3484 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 13:49 |
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[QUOTE=Certif1ed]
It's a different style altogether, but I don't think it's better... stylistically it seems to me a bit on the clumsy side, there's little pathos and no real feeling of catharsis (or anti-catharsis) - but there are some good ideas, especially in the image-painting. However, I do feel a bit guilty about making a value judgement on what is an expression of your feelings about a traumatic event; I know what you're going through, having been there myself. I wrote a requiem mass for my mother, based on the traditional latin setting - so there's no point me posting the lyrics to that! Peace.
Yours was good! It flowed well and was easy for the reader/listener to follow. I have those kind too , but I have always been more fascinated with the imagery thing. I guess what irritated me some about Prog Bassist's was the whole Yes structure...he said it was about drugs and I failed to see that mentioned except in a really vague way! Then again I don't care for Yes all that much either and never know what the heck they're singing about. You know I always thought there should be a thread like this but was too shy to bring it up before...I say let's continue!!! Peter and James....you two are by far the most articulate guys on this forum...you must have something stored away?
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Prog_Bassist
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 29 2004 Location: Canada Status: Offline Points: 830 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 12:49 |
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haha yeah.
about the parental death thing, I lost my Dad about 7 months ago, from possibly suicide, but it wasn't because of any problems with the family or anything if your thinking that. My theory is that i think he had cancer, i was cleaning his stuff from the computer about 2 months after it happened, and slipped under the computer, I found 2 pamphlets, they were on the different kinds of cancer. on the pamphlets, lung and prostate cancer were both circled with pen. And before it all happened, I noticed that he looked really white, and that he wasnt as spry as he usually was, plus he was hugging me alot and saying that i was the best thing that ever happened to him (he was always one of those bold, stubborn kind of dads with the heart of gold deep inside, ya know). Anyway my point is that I'm writing a song for him, so if i get it done and it is good enough, I'll post er on here. I know my dad loved me no matter what and I know that he likely wasnt thinking right at the time. But to talk about his life, he was literally one of the best bass players in nova scotia. Really, im not just saying that cuz of my dad. pic of dad,webby of a crappy cabaret band that my dad left cuz he said it was too "slut sell-outy". (he only joined cuz we needed the money badly)", Used to play every sunday night at the capri bar, with my uncle joe on guitar, and johnny (some guy) on drums. It got cancelled cuz no-one likes jazz anymore for some reason. anyway, it was unreally virtuosic (if thats a word)., taught at this every summer, they explain him pretty good, except he doesnt like blues., dad played with a couple 'o people here. there's some damn big-time drummers here. and they were all amazed by his playing as they said. paul wertico's a good guy :), He was also a real Judo-lovin man. He's at the bottom of the page on this link.. Anyway, he was well respected, and if I can run any tunes that he played on from some cds or tapes on my computer, I will link some of them to demonstrate. 
But yeah, I know how you feel about losing someone you love, and I'm only 17 for christ sakes! It sucks. Long Live Nigel Waye. Edited by Prog_Bassist |
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Dan Bobrowski
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 02 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5243 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 10:50 |
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I really like your work, PB. The music would really define the emotional package. I find it funny how so many people think drugs enhance the musical experience, but nearly every lyric suggests that drugs ruin your life. Go figure. |
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Dan Bobrowski
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator Joined: February 02 2004 Location: United States Status: Offline Points: 5243 |
Posted: November 19 2004 at 10:47 |
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Wonderful work, Cert and Gdub. I, unfortunately, lost my collected works during some personal upheaval. The flames of my sins devoured the lyrics of my heart. Gone and forgotten. I too lost my mother and father. Twenty years after my mother left and I still feel the loss. I'd like to read some James Lee stuff. Gotta be good. Peter? Oh Peter, I know you gotta be one of those closet lyrists, improving on some of progs weaker moments. Ha! Now there's a thread. Rewrite the lyrics to a crappy prog tune. |
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Your opinion on these lyrics i wrote...
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Reed Lover wrote:
My sister lives there -- you may well know my brother in law, who plays guitar (amateur, but he knows lots of musicians). His name is Glenn, and he's a big prog fan -- ring any bells?
