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Mellow Tron 
Forum Newbie
Joined: April 20 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 18
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 Topic: Simpson jokes
Posted: July 02 2006 at 18:17 |
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Homer "I am so smart, I am so smart, S - M - A - T, I mean S - M - A - R - T!"
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Searching for me
You look everywhere,
Except beside you.
Searching for you
You look everywhere,
But not inside you.
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Abstrakt
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 18 2005
Location: Soundgarden
Status: Offline
Points: 18292
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Posted: July 02 2006 at 15:47 |
From "Treehouse Of Horror 1 or 2":
Lisa: I wish for world peace
Homer: Lisa, that's very selfish of you
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Hemulen
Forum Groupie
Joined: October 03 2005
Location: Sweden
Status: Offline
Points: 58
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Posted: July 02 2006 at 15:02 |
Selma tell Marge that she is gay
Homer: Oooh! Here's some other news: i like beer.
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Guss
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el böthy
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 27 2005
Location: Argentina
Status: Offline
Points: 6336
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Posted: July 01 2006 at 19:23 |
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Margo: You dont have to do anything you dont want to.
Homer: Maybe I want to...but then I think of Marge and the kinds...the boy not, sometimes I just want to...
Marge: So, do you like Wodey Allen´s movies?
Flanders: Id like them more if that nervous little guy wasnt there.
Man: We have a job available for Teaching how to have good marriage.
Homer: Uh I can do that. Anything to get out of that house, with the screamming and the thouse kids and...which I love so much...lalalala
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"You want me to play what, Robert?"
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Peace Frog
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 17 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 994
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Posted: April 11 2006 at 16:03 |
Homer: I've got a hankerin' for some spankerin'!
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Cygnus X-1
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 06 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 653
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Posted: April 08 2006 at 18:12 |
German talking to plant workers: "Do we have any alcohlics here?" "Yeah" "Yeah I am" "I'm drunk right now" 
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Peace Frog
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 17 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 994
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Posted: April 07 2006 at 15:01 |
Homer: N- yes! But don't you say that word!
Grampa: What- se-e-e-e-ex? I had s-e-e-e-e-x.
Homer: <shudders>
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dooshbaggins
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 04 2006
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 585
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Posted: April 07 2006 at 14:06 |
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"Oh come on Marge I swear I didn't do it. I can't even say the word 'titmouse' without giggling like a school girl hehehe, hehehehehe"
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Pull My Finger!
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White Queen
Forum Senior Member
Joined: December 28 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 218
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Posted: April 07 2006 at 08:38 |
Homer to Bart while watching TV: If you want anything out of life you half to work for it, now SHHHHH!!!!! the lottery numbers are coming on. 
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Cygnus X-1
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 06 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 653
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Posted: April 06 2006 at 17:41 |
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Peace Frog
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 17 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 994
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Posted: April 05 2006 at 16:01 |
Ralph: That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things!
Edited by Peace Frog
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Laurent
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 04 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 513
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Posted: April 05 2006 at 00:17 |
Lenny: You want another card or not?
Homer: Huh? Oh, OK. I'll take three. [Moe deals them] D'oh! D'oh!
D'oh! I mean...woo hoo.
Moe: I'm in. [tosses a chip into the pot] Let's see your cards.
Homer: Oh, I was bluffing. [shows them]
Moe: Ha ha. Come to papa -- wait a minute! You have a straight
flush, Homer! You do this every time, you -- oh, you -- oh!
Gah! I'm choking on my own rage here.
Carl: Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just 'cause he's a little slow...
Homer: [gasps] [thinks] Something was said...not good. What was it?
"Don't yell at Homer!" No, that's OK. What was it? ...Slow!
They called you slow!
[stands up, yells] How dare you call me that! I -- huh?
[Lenny walks into empty kitchen wearing night cap]
Lenny: [opens fridge] Hey, Homer, you still here? Boy, you _are_ slow.
Homer: [thinks] Something said...not good.
Lenny: Get the hell out of here!
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chopper
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 13 2005
Location: Essex, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 20030
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Posted: April 01 2006 at 07:13 |
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Laurent
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 04 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 513
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Posted: March 31 2006 at 17:53 |
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Homer: Rock music attained perfection in 1974, it's a scientifically proven fact
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Zepology101
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 21 2006
Location: Antarctica
Status: Offline
Points: 340
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 16:18 |
I don't remember the lines correctly, but here we go;
Bart (calling Moe in the bar): hello, I'm looking for a, first name, Hugh, last name, Jazz?
Moe: Hey! I'm looking for a hugh Jazz! Hugh Jazz! Do we have a Hugh Jazz in here?
Hugh Jazz: My name is hugh jazz! (answers phone) Hello?
Bart: Uh, sorry, but this was suppossed to be a prank call that sort of backfired on me...
Hugh Jazz: oh, no problem. (hangs up) such a nice boy...
It's not as funny unless you say the name Hugh Jazz out loud. It's suppossed to sound like huge a**.
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Cygnus X-1
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 06 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 653
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 15:59 |
Snake: "Wallet inspector."
Geek: "Oh here you go, I'm sure everything's in order."
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Peace Frog
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 17 2005
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 994
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 15:33 |
From How I Spent My Strummer Vacation
Homer: I even took some pills I found on the floor but still nothing! Now I'm afraid that if I stop talking I'll die! Isn't Mick cool? I thought he'd be all like, "I'm a rock star, aren't I great?" But he's just like you or me or Jesus over there!!
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Cygnus X-1
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 06 2005
Location: United Kingdom
Status: Offline
Points: 653
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 11:41 |
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Duff Man: "Duff man can't breathe, oh no ooohh"
"Duff man is thrusting in the direction of the problem!"
"This Reich is gonna last a 1000 beers!"
Titanya: "Duff man you said if i slept with you i wouldn't have to toss the drunk!"
Duff Man: "Duff man says a lota things! OOHHHH YEAH!"
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Gog/Magog
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2005
Location: England
Status: Offline
Points: 398
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 10:22 |
Homer getting angry with Lisa:
"You know nothing know it all"
I love the one-liners that nearly pass you by
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Rust
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 14 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 1148
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Posted: March 29 2006 at 18:42 |
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star
Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
Homer: So I realized that being with my family is more important
than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square."
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool—not caring, right?
Bart and Lisa: No.
Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
Edna: To Capital City.
Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
Agnes: We're gonna talk Armin Tanzarian into coming back.
Homer: And why is Marge here?
Marge: I came up with the idea.
Homer: And why am I here?
Marge: Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted
ladies.
Homer: Why are the kids here?
Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
Homer: Why is Grandpa here?
Abe: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
Homer: Huh, fair enough.
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We got to pump the stuff to make us tough
from the heart
Its astart
What we need is awareness we cant get careless
Mental self defensive fitness
Make everybody see in order to fight the powers that be
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Simpson jokes
