Some of the reviewers deserve to be shot.

Some other existing reviews - by respected PROG REVIEWERS of this forum;

EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) Works Vol. 1
Review by Bryan Adair @ 3:22:52 PM EST, 7/5/2004
PROG REVIEWER

 —  Here's the exact point where ELP's egos became out of control. Three solo sides, one full band side. It was a doomed project, given the musicians involved in this band. We get a fairly boring classical side from Keith Emerson, on which he pulls a Rick Wakeman and abandons substance in favour of showing us all just how talented he is, a bunch of Greg Lake's generic ballads, all of which seem like attempts to clone his better ones like "Lucky Man" and "Still... You Turn Me On", and a decent but unremarkable collection of compositions from Carl Palmer. Carl's side isn't really bad, but it's very boring musically, and simply failed to catch my interest. The band side is the only thing keeping this album from a 1 star, featuring a great rock adaptation of Aaron Copeland's "Fanfare For the Common Man", and a delightful 13 minute track in "Pirates". However, it's not worth buying a 2 disc collection of songs for one side, and as a result I can't give Works Vol. 1 any more than a 2. Its moments are great, but they're so buried in boring musical w**kery that it's sometimes difficult to appreciate them. Still, it WAS better than anything that could come after it, so I give it credit for that.

EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) Works Vol. 1
Review by Phil M. @ 11:38:42 AM EST, 1/26/2004
PROG REVIEWER

 —  Amazingly AWFUL is the only way I can think to describe this bloated abomination!

It was obvious that their over-fed egos had gotten the better of them at this point.

The "Piano Concerto" amounts to nothing more than a bunch of textbook post-Romantic Period cliches strung together, Keith, you are NO Rachmaninoff or Brahams! The Greg Lake stuff just wallows in sappiness, the Carl Palmer tracks are forgettable and the rest is just pure commercialized SCHLOCK! This almost makes Mannheim Steamroller sound like Stravinsky or Varese'! Worse, not a note of Hammond Organ to be found ANYWHERE, cheesy synth sounds in overkill mode and you get the picture.

Best possible use: clay pigeon substitute

 

 

 

Metropolis wrote: That review is hilarious (I've not heard the album so have no idea how accurate it is), and as far as i can tell the writer of it didn't break any rules, so what you go and delete it for?

It is not very respectful of ELP.

richardh wrote: EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1 Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005   —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album       I give that review a five ouch rating  ... irony overload  Come on then hands up ,who's responsible?..Reed?? Certified??

Sorry, Richardh!! But even if not valid , this review had me rolling on the floor with laughter. Have not laughed so hard in this forum since the Lightbulb thread . But since I only moderately appreciate ELP - I would rate them a 7/10 for overall achievement in prog respect, I am not likely to be as offended by such attacks. The fact that I do not hold the album in a great esteem of course helps me laugh about it .

On a more serious basis, I was against limiting access to the reviewing part, but the Relayer bit (also sort of  funny) and this one , it looks like a limiting access might be a solution. This constant stupid and dumb attacks are counter-productive although many people are out to look for these attacks to have them retrieved (which is good but also non-productive). This is like a circus (but there are clowns in circusses) 

richardh wrote: EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) - Works Vol. 1 Review by Karnevil Nein! @ 5:38:47 PM EST, 4/5/2005   —   I really love this album,from the ham-fisted keyboards to the twee vocals and from every over-blown piece of orchestration right up to the masterpiece of mirth that is Pirates. Long years in the making,due to ego clashes and arguments about makeup,Elton John being part of the recording process then not and finally producer Pete Waterman being replaced by Little Jimmy Osmond,the band finally got this meisterwerk out into the public consciousness.Once out there it was a smash,spending 16 weeks at Number One in Albania and going Quadruple Platinum in Belize. When one listens to Emerson's Piano Concertos one is immediately reminded of Les Dawson's egregious masterpieces of the early 70's.I can think of no higher praise than that. I find that "The Enemy God Dances With The Black Spirits" fills me with nostalgia,or should that be neuralgia? I'm not sure but I know that Mrs Palmer should have decided against that shiny red kit for young Carl's 6th Birthday.Pirates-what can I say?I nearly choked to death the first time I heard this 13 minute epic.It sounds like the ungodly product of a demonic union between WS Gilbert and The Village People and is breath-taking in its excrutiating awfulness and willfull over-ambition.There is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album and this is nothing like a great Prog Rock Album       I give that review a five ouch rating  ... irony overload  Come on then hands up ,who's responsible?..Reed?? Certified??

Not me,my computers been in the PC shop.

Bloody good review though! Why has it been removed?

LATEST PROGRESSIVE ROCK REVIEWS

YES - Relayer Review by iguana @ 8:09:38 AM EST, 4/5/2005   —   look, you fools, let me whack all THREE of you on the head – robert le plant: nice try to start up a bit of an argument and to polarize opinions, but boy did you screw up... you made a right dork out of yourself with your childish homophobic attitude *yawn* + raelrules & tony dodd: you folks are perfect proof that progressive rock listeners have no sense of humour at all, concerning that we are supposed to be intellectually MILES above thick pieces of sh*t like him. how very sad indeed ... erm, good album! the swiss poodle was an interesting addition and "sound chaser" & "to be over" were almost destined to be outshadowed by "the gates of delirium". not the best album to start off your YES-collection, though, you'll be better of with "drama" as a first ;-)>

I don't like the beginning of it. Is editting possible?

^ yep, that's ripe for deletion.

Though it does give plenty of ammunition to folks who believe homophobia masks latent tendencies.

Beau Heem wrote: Vielleicht sollten wir uns auf Deutsch unterhalten, oder? Französisch kann ich aber leider nicht... das heißt ja gar nicht...

Jo, gute Idee. Franzoesisch kann ich auch nur ein bisschen, aber in Deutsch bin ich ziemlich gut.