"I despise your so-called taste"

Seems dead-on to me:

What do I think about Mariah Carey by Mariah Carey? I'll tell you what I think...

  Vision Of Love could be mistaken for the little ticking noise that maggots make as they feed if you don't listen very carefully, and, believe me, you don't want to. Track four, Someday really should never be played in intelligent company if you want to retain your friends. Like the sickening crunch of fist into nose experienced nightly outside most nightclubs, track 5, Vanishing is a perversion that may actually appeal to a small group of sick f**ks hiding in a basement somewhere in Illinois.

  Track seven, Alone In Love sounds like my own personal hell from its start right through to its (bleated) finish. For f**k's sake, who decided that something not too dissimilar to an exploding zit gently squirting sebum into your brain should grace the world's musical heritage? Plonk Prisoner on your CD player and tell me Mariah Carey should be allowed to live. Go on. I dare you.

  In fact, there's no excuse for people buying this and taking it into their homes to tortute their innocent children.

Re: Peter Gabriel ~

What do I think about Peter Gabriel's Peter Gabriel 1: Car? I don't think you are going to like this...

  Why I bothered with the rest of Moribund The Burgermeister after listening to the first three seconds of my father trying to fart through a tuba I don't know. Modern Love is so so. So, so, so f**king awful, that is. Too much Humdrum is bad for your health. I recommend taking up injecting heroin into your eyeballs instead. It tickles a bit, but the rush is awesome.

  The sound of what rancid butter smells like that track six, Slowburn so accurately reproduces is relieved only by the fact there are no pictures to go with it. On second listening Waiting For The Big One starts sounding a little better, a bit more muffled and a little less like the agonised screams that waft over the road from a Zimbabwe Police station 'interview'. Or is that because I've strapped a twelve tog duvet around my head to block out the evil nastiness? You decide.

  In fact, I despise every second of Peter Gabriel's creation.

LMAO!!!!

http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/default.asp

Has anyone seen this before?

It's pretty funny; just type in your favourite album/band/song/singer and a randomized response will be made to insult your music. The funny thing is it gathers information from your artist/album from Amazon.com to make it look like it knows what its talking about. Unfortunately, it tends to repeat itself a bit.

Here's some samples for some well known prog bands...

Yes, Fragile: Track 2, Cans And Brahms went down well with my neighbour's dogs. They howled for hours, handily drowning out most of the track, and prompting me to start searching for a dog of my own. Track 6, Long Distance Runaround is like a cheap keyboard being played by a God-fearing christian fund raiser outside Tesco's, and I'm being generous there. Once music was a simple thing. People played a jolly tune into a recording device, people played it and danced about a bit. Now we need professional psychiatric care for an audience assaulted by the likes of track 7, the 'Schindleria Praematurus' of The Fish on a regular basis.

King Crimson, In the Court of the Crimson King: I've heard better things than the opening track, the 'Including Mirrors' of 21st Century Schizoid Man at my son's playschool end of term concert in which every small child has been given something to make a noise with regardless of talent, motivation or the ability to count to four without drooling.

Genesis, The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway: On second listening the opening track, The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway starts sounding a little better, a bit more muffled and a little less like aural herpes. Or is that because I've strapped a twelve tog duvet around my head to block out the evil nastiness? You decide. The lyrics of track six, The Grand Parade Of Lifeless Packaging would make better sense written on a urinal wall - at least you could piss on them. Back In N.Y.C. isn't that bad. Ha ha. Got you. It's just a tiny bit worse than, say, the sound of a christmas novelty sing-along hit in Estonia.

Gentle Giant, The Power and the Glory: What possesses people to make music that sounds like So Sincere? The bastard lovechild of Joe Dolce and Mariah Carey? I'm not offering further opinion because I'm not listening to it again. Ever. Luckily a glitch on the CD caused Playing The Game to skip and refuse to play. Well, at least I hope that is what was happening - for all I know that was what Gentle Giant intended it to sound like. Track 5, Cogs In Cogs really should never be played in intelligent company if you want to retain your friends.

Lets see if anyone can get any really funny ones.