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Topic Closedzombies and sheep

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Dan Bobrowski View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 07 2004 at 23:34

The slickened clown rises up to claim victory, when out of the clouds jumps a humugous kangaroo shape vehicle with boxing gloves..... the clown shrinks back and runs for the nearest pool of fairy shrimp... (sploosh) (glurp glurp gflurp)

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Dudezan emerges from the Kangamobile... stout and erect, with his throbbing baton at the ready. The sheep cower, no leadership in sight. An easy victory for the Aussie stud-muffin.

 

 

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 06 2004 at 17:25

Mist settles upon the scene, the half-lit jester squints into the fog and spies a lurking shadow. Dispatching the first waves of slathering zombie sheep, a flowing melodic tune shears through the unearthly quiet.

The first sheep snaps it's venomous fangs furiously but fails to penetrate the preys leg. The teeth fall to the fetid field like wet confetti on a rain slashed parking lot. The titanium leg holds strong, whilst the flute plays on in a desperate attempt to ensnare the creatures minds in the prog-evil nature of the Electric Minstrel's Pied Piper performance.      

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 21:19
enter the Electric Minstrel for continuity's sake...revived and programmed to carry out his timeless, thankless wandering; a Stochastic Simon Templar armed with the complete Tull discography and a culinary taste for mouldering mutton. Free of concerns about sanitation and disease, he would be the perfect predatory bane to these legions of undead if only he could move a bit faster on his single titanium leg.
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 17:28

The dawn breaks over a battered field.... broken stalks, clods of rust coloured earth, clumps of wool and zombie-fied body parts litter the area like cornflakes on the kitchen floor of the Garten household......

A fuzzy red haired head rises above the carnage, bulbous nose sniffs the coming scent of Dude and Throbbin's approach in the kang-mobile. The fleece bedecked visage of the Velveteen Clown raises the whiskey bottle once more to his rouge smeared face, pulls deeply and calls forth his new army....... Zombie Sheep.

 

(Tune in tomorrow..... will Dude and Garten bring along the Zombie-wolf with his chartreuse teeth?  Will the Clown set forth his new breed upon the unsuspecting lycra duo? Same Dude time, same Dude station.....).    



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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 13:18

Throbbin' runs to the dudecave whilst slipping on his leather vest and feather boa and attempting to keep his slippers from flapping....(twap twap twap) Tripping over a discarded lambchop, he realises the futility of the mission. Two men against a hundred zombies.... not good odds.

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 11:56
(cccreeeiikktph) the mattress groans as Dude rises from his slumber. Reaching behind, dude adjusts the strap on his silver lycra thong and releases and puff of lamb gas..... "Aaahhh, sheep." Looking at the hyper-muscle of his neighbor and mentor, Dude realizes his mastery of the sheep is being threatened by the zombie masses. Strolling to the door opposite the one destroyed by his wake-up call, dude opens it to find the drooling Englishman still asleep in his nicotine stained armchair. "Crikey, get up Throbbin' (Jim Garten's alter-ego) it's time to move..... get the kanga-mobile warmed up, we've some zombie arse to kick."
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 06:06
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: July 01 2004 at 06:04
This meek individual sends an army of ZOMBIE-LAMBS to take revenge on Dude for all the lambchops he has consumed over the years. Dude itīs payback time !!! Repent you lamb abuser !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2004 at 12:36

*** (click) "ayyyy good morning Central Cali, time to hit the ground running and grease the wheels....  first a news update." A  sleep palsied hand stretches for the off button, "this just in.... Zombie's have attacked a farmers sheep just south of the 140 and Avenue 12 interchange. Police are baffled at the zombie's sudden change of attitude as negotiations appeared to be going smoothly for the restoration of medical benefits."

The hand slowly rubs the sleep crud from tired eyes as they focus upon the closed door of the Aussie Terminator in the next room. "An estimate of 30 sheep have been torn assunder during the rampage....."

Rolling to his side, the rippling muscles push the long, powerful frame from the sofa. "Must inform Dudezan..... his flocks under attack..... payback time...," a cloudy beer haze engulfs the Prog-nerd as he shuffles towards the grimey door.

(knock knock)   "Go away, mate. Need a few more minutes" (knock knock) "Crikey, get off the door, mate, or I'll slap me wallaby on yer head!!!"

A crash of splintering wood and squealling metal as Danbo breaks through the solid core door. "Now Dudezan, it's on.... the zombies are kiling your sheep. I told you zombie's aren't cut out for field labor.... GO!!!!"

 



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Dan Bobrowski View Drop Down
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2004 at 11:25

***** (crreeeekkk) door opens, eye peers through crack..... (ccrrreeeeekkk, snick) door closes**** The tall handsome , muscular prognerd stolls to his worn and stained davenport and lays down with a slight moan of the twisted springs***   "Ahhh, he's back..."   *** snnnxxpp - zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2004 at 08:44
+++Sees an unfamiliar door, with the unmistakeable stench of unwashed Australian wafting beneath the jam....... opens door (very carefully), takes a good look inside, blinks hard, looks again, and slowly shakes head.... closes door (very quietly) returns to his room, and sits, lost in thought........+++

"Hmmmm - I'll need to think about this one...."

+++Opens bottle of Theakstons Old Peculiar, lights a cigarette, leans back, falls over, swears, crawls back onto chair, picks up remains of beer & a now horribly foreshortened cigarette, leans back (more carefully), and begins to ponder........+++

Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Direct Link To This Post Posted: June 30 2004 at 08:34

RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN...OPENS DOOR..STEPS INSIDE..CLOSES DOOR...RUNRUNRUNRUN..ah here we are

THIS IS A THRAED ABOUT ZOMBIES AND SHEEP

Now max and co will probably say....."Oh dear, dude has returned with another one of his totally irrelevant threads, lets smack him on the wrist and say ..very naughty dude!!!"

then they will probably want me to smack them on the wrist and call them naughty or "Who's your daddy", or "spank me big boy"or something like that!!!

to which i would say "Sorry guys i dont swing that way"

anyway

Zombies are dead people who are bought back to life(sort of) usally to work for evil plantation owners while they scare the poo out of the residents of small carribean villages. this is all very well but its not so good when the evil guy goes to sell his produce at market.

After, all being dead, bits of them will start dropping of,this is not good,especially when they start to find bits of ears, fingers,noses and more private bits that even zombies would like to keep, in the customers fruit and veggies!!

And there is nothing worse than an angry zombie who has just lost his private bits!!

Sheep are very useful creatures,being close to the bottom of the food chain they are a welcome sight to wolves, bears,mountain lions and wandering minstrals.

wandering minstrals will sneak onto farms(as you do)kill, cook and eat a sheep and then sing songs about it in local villages except the poor sheep is now a mighty ram which the minstral bravely kills after an epic battle!!

the problem is,everyone has cds and surround sound systems and every album Jethro Tull ever made and who cares about a minstral bignoting himself.

As you can imagine,Wandering Minstrals are a dying breed.

From sheep we get nice wollen clothing to keep us warm in winter,the trouble is..i have never seen a sheep knit so i suspect they have a big factory somewhere where they sit at sowing machines or knit all this great stuff for us

how nice of them

Lambs are cute and little children clap their hands with joy when they see them frolicking and gamboling in the fields on a warm spring day

i clap my hands withjoy when i see lamb to

Lamb chops, Roast lamb,rack of lamb and my favourite,Lamb on a spit

yes,i am always happy to see lambs

in summery

Sheep are good,Lambs are cute and tasty,Wandering Minstrals Are few and far between

And if you are an evil plantation owner do not get zombies to do your work as they have a habit of falling to peices.

but on the plus side,at least you dont have to pay them!.

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