Why is everyone so tense??

It's all me...I am the cause and source of all that is evil.

Seriously though (although some may agree with that first statement!), you're completely correct. The tone is definitely less open and amiable as it was when I joined up, but I can't deny I've had my part in that. I'm generally pretty good-humored (although opinionated and irritatingly particular at times) but I simply haven't always had the sense to recognize when I'm in a dangerously bad mood...and frankly, if I'm gonna snap I'd rather it be here than in 'real life' where the consequences are potentially much more grievous...

Some may cite contoversial topics or statements as a likely cause, but I don't think that's the answer. If we were all mature and reasonable people we could discuss anything, or at least decide not to respond to those sort of threads.

And there seems to be an increase in troll activity, too...never good for a forum's general well-being. Possibly because we're not as quick to pounce on people with low post counts & repeated topics as some places...it's a classic paradox: in being more open and permissive we might allow for more potential nastiness, but changing that outlook may do even more damage...

Relax those tense muscles with this nice hot bath...

That's me just after I shaved my legs  NOT!!!

Blacksword wrote: sigod: I will think of you very differently from now on Now, on a serious note, I demand to know where you got that picture of my bird!!

I don't see your rubber ducky in that photo, Blacksword...

***Serious Bit***

I reckon the tension is simply caused by new people joining up and expecting this to be like "other" forums where trolls abound, flame wars are the norm, and so they come in with the hobnail boots flying... before realising that this really is a comfortable cardigan and slippers type of place and we're not just pretending...

I also think it's caused by the deep-seated desire of many (me included) to keep this as an intelligent forum, and not drop to the internet's common denominator. Most outbursts seem to come following an outbreak of crass stupidity more than anything else - ProgArchives is much more tolerant than the "civility" thread might have you believe, and we're all capable of producing stupid jokes and coming out with general dumb stuff - but I mean the type of stupidity which starts with new comers not bothering to search old threads for topics of interest and goes through dumb trolling (Spam and "I think X is crap" about people's favourite band) to general insulting of groups of people - whether tongue-in-cheek or not.

To my mind, this forum is breaking new ground in its attempts to keep attitudes at decent altitudes. The difficulty it faces as more people join up is that those same new people that are needed to help the site "progress" are ultimately from different backgrounds and cultures and are not necessarily going to play in the sandpit nicely.

I guess it's up to the existing membership to provide "guidance" to newcomers (e.g. "Read the civility thread!"), because I'm pretty sure none of them bother to read the forum guidelines they have to agree to...

I can't just blame newcomers, tho' - there are certainly things that we, as existing members can do - or even avoid doing (but we all know what they are, so I won't bore anyone with details...).

Peter Rideout wrote: It's all the angry, sub-literate, violence and videogame obsessed, short attention-spanned, intolerant and self loathing young metalheads.

angry -  (grrrrr grrr grrr grrr)

sub-literate -  (well, that's one point in my favor...or is it?)

violence and videogame obsessed -  (I own Manhunt and IMAO it isn't that violent...)

short attention-span -  (sorry, what? I was busy checking out pictures of Canadian all-girl metal band Kittie)

intolerant -  (ok, I'll take a half-point for that one. I have my blind spots.)

self-loathing -  (to know me is to loathe me, and no one knows me better)

young -  (only relatively- I'll drop a half point there)

metalhead -  (hmm...does liking Cradle of Filth, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Fates Warning, Slayer, Celtic Frost, Sodom, Danzig, and Cannibal Corpse count? LOL)

on the Rideout Scale, I score a 6 out of a possible 8. (or is that 666 out of a posible 888? )

Good post Reed.

I have gone on numerous news forums, where people seem to think they are political analysts of the highest calibre. To merely have an opinion is not good enough! Although things can a bit high brow around here I dont think of it really as being to snobby or eletist, and that doesn't bother me. Its when someone expresses an opinion, and they are attacked. I think its only happened to me once, but I dont like it. This forum is a celebration of good music, and we all have a love of that in common.

I agree with you generally about not taking things too seriously.

Reed Lover wrote: I think people on this forum are a tad over-sensitive.This is the first forum I've ever joined (aren't you the unlucky ones!) and I've found that what I would consider to be "heated, but healthy debate" can be seen by others as "all out war". I find this extraordinary. All this formality might be misconstrued by some as snobbery or elitism and it certainly hints at a lack of genuine passion from some contributors.Nobody has ever said anything that has offended me per-se,but I have been offended by the condescending tone of some members.The attitude of "dont step on so and so's toes" is bizaare but exists on this forum.I have had at least 3 messages from people "glad we are on good terms now" even though I have never felt any kind of antipathy towards these individuals.In fact 2 of them I particularly admire!!! I like to wind people up but as long as their responses are honest, and well thought out ( nice one Cert!) I dont see why this should be a problem.I even had one person suggesting I was staging my leaving the forum to see how many friends I had! () I have reacted emotionally to one person's post ( who probably blundered into the situation by getting the "wrong-end-of -the -stick").I had genuine reasons for doing a runner but after a few days break I saw things differently.  I am still amazed at how some people react. I enjoy a bit of a verbal rumble but once the dust has settled I never bear any grudges or particularly remember who i've had an "argument" with.And no, I dont feel I can say whatever I want then expect people to just laugh it off. This is not my nature. This idea of things being tense is daft.Some might say that I would say that as maybe I am part of the perceived problem. I have visited lots of forums over the last few weeks and this is far and away the most civil and interesting.The presentation of the site is very well thought out (the Discussions Not Related To Music section especially) and there is a good cross-section of ages. Don't take yourselves so seriously guys-life is too short! There is only so much you can say about prog rock that hasn't already been discussed, and it is not as if the scene is fast developing is it? Lets try and be a bit more thick-skinned.Taking offence all the time just makes you appear shallow. The regulars on this site are all wonderful people (except me and VelvetIdiot, of course) but they are not immune from ridicule.

There is much merit in what you say, Reed -- I (and others, I suppose) could try to be more thick-skinned -- after all, it's just a music forum, not the U.N.

Point taken.

However: The newbie asked a question, and he was not alone in his estimation that things seem "edgy" of late (I and other long-terms have noticed it.)

To a large extent, I think that a decline in "tone" is inevitable with the growth of any community, real or internet. People don't know each other, or want to know, people don't want to "get involved," newcomers to the town, city, or forum may not (at least at first) feel that they "owe" anything to that community.

In the case of the Forums, success may well breed excess.

Still, as you might say, Reed, there is no reason why I can't enjoy myself here, joke with those whom I know share and understand my peculiar brand of whimsy, and just ignore posts that I don't like, or have "seen before."

Still, if I PM someone a detailed response to an unsolicited question, at least acknowledge that you received it, FOR PETE'S SAKE!

I hate it when people like Dork Lover gives me compliments !!!!!

Blacksword wrote: PETER!! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A NEWBIE!!!! jUST BEING TENSE

Sorry, Blackie!

My, how the time flies -- seems like just the other day you were toddling around the Forums in a droopy diaper with a pacifier, charming us all with your infantile attempts at communication....

Now, I suppose, you'll be wanting to borrow the car, and needing money for college -- see Max@ and Mother Maani for the latter.

(No offense meant, natch!)

  Did you know that as a "senior," you now qualify for discounted bus fare? That surprisingly spry octogenarian "doddering Dick" Heath will be only too glad to fill you in on all of the benefits attendant upon your "ascension." He likes it when people notice him -- don't forget to pat his dear old snow-white, fluffy head when you see him, and bring him some humbugs (he dearly loves those, though the nurses tend to confiscate them -- seems they "gum up his works." 

Remember, these are your "golden" years! Live! Love! Dance! Wheeze! Clutch your chest and plummet like a stone to the floor!

I have to say that most of what is said should here, I take with a pinch of salt but hey, with 338 posts to my name, I must just be a newbie too

Or is it judged in the time you joined, or is it the number of stars???

AHHHH, THERE'S NOBODY HERE WITH FOUR STARS!!

Ahem, sorry about that.

I love you all...