WOMEN

micky wrote: never rush getting into marriage or making the fool mistake that if you aren't married by a certain age that you will die alone.  Fate/God whatever has a way of suprising you when you least expect it.  Never compromise what you believe in and never settle for less than what you want.

DS, I'm quite sure neither Micky nor Chameleon think the only sign of compatibility between two people is liking prog music, or having any other hobbies in common. Compatibility goes way beyond that, in my opinion... though I perfectly agree with you that being compatible in what amounts to superficial aspects doesn't count for much.

The most heartbreaking experience of my life was with a man who was a colleague, had the same education as I had, and was very gifted at languages as I was. He also shared political ideas and, apparently at least, the same worldview. Was that enough? Of course not... As people, we were as different as two people could be -  for istance, I tend to be open about myself, and he didn't want to talk about any problems, even those that eventually led to the demise of our fledgling relationship (and of any other relationship we might have had, like simple friendship). Therefore, I know that 'superficial' factors can be extremely misleading. I think your parents were much more compatible deep down that appearances might led themselves or others to believe - as I and the aforementioned man were different.

As to rushing into marriage (or anything else for that matter) because of one's age, this is something that many people learn not to do when they are older. I used to think that, being in my mid-forties, I had no chance to find anyone, unless he was much older than me (and I was so sure of it that I'd given up altogether). Then, when I least expected it, life surprised me...

Badabec wrote: @ all men: we will never undestand the women @ all women: you will never understand the men

Really? I always thought we were relatively easy to read, compared to the more complex nature of the XYs..

I'll throw some more logs on this fire.  This is mostly for the "kids" still in HS.

1.  Don't sweat your current status with regards to girls, dating, relationships - there is nothing more meaningless than your high school status once you're out - even in college it's a whole different ballgame.  Ex.  my wife was a classic "nerd" in HS and never had one date, but in college apparently she had several interested parties - fortunately I found her first!

2.  Failed relationships suck at the time they fail, but they are important life lessons and they help you in future relationships, that's my opinion.  Also time heals these wounds.  Final word is, I think I took dating/relationships way too seriously in HS, had several very long relationships that ultimately failed - I probably could have had a little more fun.  It's like I had these mini-marriages when I was 16 ** shudder **.

3.  To all those virgins/waiting for marriage, great decision and I applaud you for it.  File this under the too much info category, but I've only slept with two women in my life (and that number ain't gonna change now ), and I certainly don't feel like I "missed out" on anything.

PaperDuck wrote: I live under the philosophy (of course I can't know this for sure, not having the requisite life experience) that until you have a good relationship with yourself, you'll never be able to have a good relationship with anyone else; and that if you have a good relationship with yourself, you don't need anyone to "complete" you. Yeah, it's very nice - I wouldn't give up my boyfriend for less than quite a few $100k () - but it's not necessary. If we broke up I wouldn't go looking for someone else, trying to find a significant other - I'd go looking for another "soulmate." And men and women aren't as different as people seem to think...

As I said earlier, I'm f**ked

Ghost Rider wrote: DS, I'm quite sure neither Micky nor Chameleon think the only sign of compatibility between two people is liking prog music, or having any other hobbies in common. Compatibility goes way beyond that, in my opinion... though I perfectly agree with you that being compatible in what amounts to superficial aspects doesn't count for much. The most heartbreaking experience of my life was with a man who was a colleague, had the same education as I had, and was very gifted at languages as I was. He also shared political ideas and, apparently at least, the same worldview. Was that enough? Of course not... As people, we were as different as two people could be -  for istance, I tend to be open about myself, and he didn't want to talk about any problems, even those that eventually led to the demise of our fledgling relationship (and of any other relationship we might have had, like simple friendship). Therefore, I know that 'superficial' factors can be extremely misleading. I think your parents were much more compatible deep down that appearances might led themselves or others to believe - as I and the aforementioned man were different. As to rushing into marriage (or anything else for that matter) because of one's age, this is something that many people learn not to do when they are older. I used to think that, being in my mid-forties, I had no chance to find anyone, unless he was much older than me (and I was so sure of it that I'd given up altogether). Then, when I least expected it, life surprised me...

Visitor13 wrote: ^ Actually, you're anything but (sorry, couldn't resist)

Chameleon wrote: micky wrote: never rush getting into marriage or making the fool mistake that if you aren't married by a certain age that you will die alone.  Fate/God whatever has a way of suprising you when you least expect it.  Never compromise what you believe in and never settle for less than what you want.     Thanks. I needed that. It's pretty hard nowadays in the jungle of high school, as people judge you based on your experience with the opposite gender. The pressure may force some people to settle for less than what they like. With that comment, I'm going to forge on and not listen to anyone who says differently.   Thanks.

no problem... in the real world that would have cost you a hour of your time and $250 hahhahah


seriously though.....  screw what others think... it's your life.. live it.   If you happen to referrring to sex..  I'd stress it even more.  You have to look at yourself in the mirrror everyday... always feel proud of what you see.    Thanks btw...  nice to see something occasionally spillling  out of my flapping jaws  that actually means something

moonlapse wrote: 1.  Do you really want to turn say 35 or 40 having only slept with one woman in your entire life, and face the next how many years wondering if you ever will sleep with someone else (excepting divorces of course, which are a real possibility anyway).  If you don't think that will bother you now, it almost surely will later. Since I'm happily married and almost 30, yes, I do want to turn 35 and 40 having slept with one woman (in my case the same woman for 15-20 years).  I won't wonder if I will ever sleep with anyone else, because I know I won't.  I'm with the woman of my dreams, so as for it "surely bothering me", I think not. 2.  Most people probably won't, or shouldn't, get married until at least 25.  That's a long time to wait. Got married at 23, no regrets here. 3.  If it's because they want to save themselves for that proverbial special someone known as "the one", well 50% of marriages end in divorce anyways.  And I read a figure today while reading all the scoop on hockey player Tie Domi's adulterous affairs with Canadian politician Belinda Stronach and actress Tia Carrere (man how did he get her!?) that said 70% of marriages have had at least one partner involved in an affair.  I'm sure most of those thought they were marrying "the one" too. Look, if you don't want to wait or if you have great luck with the ladies and want to sow your wild oats in your youth, be my guest.  All I was doing was supporting those who choose otherwise, and saying there are normal people who don't consider sex the be all and end all of life.

heyitsthatguy wrote: Yeah, believe it or not, there are some of us who aren't totally obsessed with sex

well that counts me out