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Conor Fynes 
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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 Topic: Love Advice?
Posted: June 04 2010 at 18:36 |
So, this might seem like a weird place to talk about this..
but my girlfriend of a year and a half and I broke up on the phone about 10 minutes ago.
I have funny feelings in my stomach right now.
The question is... what do I do now?
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Icarium
Forum Senior Member
VIP Member
Joined: March 21 2008
Location: Tigerstaden
Status: Offline
Points: 34083
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 18:43 |
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well im stil a virgin so I dont't know but I wold probably play some Tekken or anything similar on play station to think on something else or listen on some Gentle Giant to get a smile about their quirk and sillyness.
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micky
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: .
Status: Offline
Points: 46838
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 18:48 |
 Conor Fynes wrote:
So, this might seem like a weird place to talk about this..
but my girlfriend of a year and a half and I broke up on the phone about 10 minutes ago.
I have funny feelings in my stomach right now.
The question is... what do I do now? |
what to do... if old enough... get yourself drunk and feel sorry for yourself then.. tomorrow... move on.. I've had my heart shattered more times than I count.. many of us have. Life goes on.. and THE one for you is out there. The fun for you now... is to try, by process of elimination, to find her.
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The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip
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SaltyJon
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 08 2008
Location: Location
Status: Offline
Points: 28772
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 18:54 |
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MICKY! I was wondering if you would ever return. And Conor, the best advice is to do whatever works best for you to deal with the breakup. Everyone's different really, so I can't necessarily say what's the best way.
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Dorsalia
Forum Senior Member
Joined: February 21 2006
Location: Cape Mola
Status: Offline
Points: 367
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 19:10 |
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"It's not the end of the world."
That's my mantra.
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"Es ist übrigens unmöglich, eine Meinung zu haben, ohne dass es unerfreuliche Überschneidungen gibt. Die Grünen sind für den deutschen Wald, die NPD ebenfalls."
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20414
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 19:27 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
So, this might seem like a weird place to talk about this..
but my girlfriend of a year and a half and I broke up on the phone about 10 minutes ago.
I have funny feelings in my stomach right now.
The question is... what do I do now? |
 You're asking advice on love on a prog forum, where most of the members (not all, mind you) are self-declared virgin/loser/celibate or unsociable????
You must be masochist.... or you really must wish for that break up to be definitive 
Is she worth it?? Did you have fun almost all of the time????
I'd say sleep on it and talk it over with her tomorrow 
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let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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JLocke
Prog Reviewer
Joined: November 18 2007
Status: Offline
Points: 4900
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 19:38 |
I would disagree with Micky on one point: There is no guarantee that 'THE one' is out there for you at all. In fact, I don't even believe in the concept of 'THE one'. Not everybody finds their happy ending in life. That's a very cold fact, but one I would advise you to become aware of. For your own sanity's sake. Now, moving away from that grim little outlook I have (take it or leave it), I honestly think you have more than a good chance of being reasonably happy with another in the future. Hell, you might even find someone you can stand long enough to form a family with. Anyone who is reasonably good-looking and/or has a kind, honest heart is already ahead of others in ways. This girl isn't the be all, end all of girls. I don't even know her, and I can still tell you that with great confidence.  The question really is this . . . will you allow yourself to let go of this? Some people waste away years of their lives waiting on someone who will never come. If you choose to hold this girl in such high esteem, I fear you may miss out on some truly worthy opportunities for romance in the future. In short: forget about her. If you honestly feel like she is who you want to be with, then stay in touch, be a friend, and make your feelings known. She may return to you someday, or she may not. But if you DON'T truly feel like she is worth all the heartache, then forget about her and move on. If you truly love her, fight to win her love back. But be honest with yourself. Is she really all that big of a deal? Is she really worth hurting over? 9 times out of 10, the answer to both of those questions is going to be 'no'. In your case, I'm willing to bet very highly that it's the same answer.
Edited by JLocke - June 04 2010 at 19:45
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micky
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: .
Status: Offline
Points: 46838
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 20:42 |
JLocke wrote:
I would disagree with Micky on one point: There is no guarantee that 'THE one' is out there for you at all. In fact, I don't even believe in the concept of 'THE one'. Not everybody finds their happy ending in life. That's a very cold fact, but one I would advise you to become aware of. For your own sanity's sake.
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obviously there are no guarantees in life... here today...gone tomorrow. see my POV is... and I do think it is a good one... if you aren't living for something.. have hope in something greater than yourself.. then what the hell are we living for. Money? success? Find me one person who has been made happy by either... very often they are used as substitutes for what really makes you happy, Love, and are often the most miserable people you'll ever meet. I dig you man... but Conor.. listen closely. There is someone for everyone... unfortunately the world has taken on a mighty case of cynic crotch rot. Those who don't think THE one exists... simply aren't looking or have convinced themselves that a man and a women can not be a perfect match. That isn't saying moonlight and roses 24/7.. but a relationship where you are much friends as well as lovers and understand that neither is perfect and never forget what made you fall in love in the first place. so what is so impossible to believe about finding that person in your life... bah..
Edited by micky - June 04 2010 at 20:45
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The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip
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micky
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: October 02 2005
Location: .
Status: Offline
Points: 46838
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 20:49 |
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The Pedro and Micky Experience - When one no longer requires psychotropics to trip
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Any Colour You Like
Prog Reviewer
Joined: May 15 2009
Status: Offline
Points: 12294
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 20:57 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
The question is... what do I do now? |
Get drunk, then wake up in the morning, run up a mountain untill you pass out. Wake up again feeling tired but purged, go to school/uni/work and meet someone else.
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jammun
Prog Reviewer
Joined: July 14 2007
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 3449
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 20:57 |
micky wrote:
SaltyJon wrote:
MICKY! I was wondering if you would ever return. |
 a man can't even take a vacation around here. Just been trying my hand at living the dream of being an internet porn star. 
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Ah, gathering wood for the money shot. 
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Can you tell me where we're headin'?
Lincoln County Road or Armageddon.
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Ivan_Melgar_M
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: April 27 2004
Location: Peru
Status: Offline
Points: 19557
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 21:04 |
A breaking is not definitive until you talk face to face.....Study your feelings, decide what's best for you and her but most important: wait and see how things go.
Iván
Edited by Ivan_Melgar_M - June 04 2010 at 21:04
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Epignosis
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: December 30 2007
Location: Raeford, NC
Status: Offline
Points: 32553
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 21:07 |
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What brand of deodorant do you use?
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clarke2001
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: June 14 2006
Location: Croatia
Status: Offline
Points: 4160
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 21:25 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
So, this might seem like a weird place to talk about this..
but my girlfriend of a year and a half and I broke up on the phone about 10 minutes ago.
I have funny feelings in my stomach right now.
The question is... what do I do now? |
What to do now? Do not seek for advice on a music internet forum. The people around you...your friends, your family, your girlfriend's friends...know you better. They will most likely give you a better advice. Over the wire, we can give you 'hit or miss' advice...however... It seems that you care. I dunno if the people around you are aware of your feelings, I don't know if you're introvert or emotional person...but most likely, they will be something like 'you'll get over it', 'it's not the end of the world', 'you'll find another one'... That's rubbish. Most likely, you will get over it, but...never completely. And that's fine. Every love, happy or unhappy one, is a part of your life - it's what defines you. No-one can take that from you. I guess - unless you settle things out and continue together - you will meet again at least once more. You owe each other that much after year and a half. If not, if the telephone conversation is the one that ended you relationship after year and a half, then, regardless of your feelings, perhaps she's not the best person for you - because that means unsolved issues, a lack of communication and troubles in the future. Whatever the outcome, good luck to you (both).
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 22:12 |
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Sorry to hear, understand why you feel bad and I know this isnt what you wanna hear, but tis life man.
If you really cared that strongly then there's only thing to do:
Go on and eventually it'll be fine. Time is the only thing that fixes it.
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June
Forum Senior Member
Joined: November 03 2008
Location: Montreal
Status: Offline
Points: 6521
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 22:34 |
Ivan_Melgar_M wrote:
A breaking is not definitive until you talk face to face.....Study your feelings, decide what's best for you and her but most important: wait and see how things go.
Iván |
^ This. You don't break up on the phone. It's just too easy. What you need to do is spend some time with your best mates, or whoever else (family) is important in your life, get some support, or at least people to talk this over with.
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Falx
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 05 2010
Location: New Zealand
Status: Offline
Points: 859
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Posted: June 04 2010 at 23:39 |
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I would take the advice of Mr. Doctor, in the Devil Doll album Dies Irae:
Among the trees
Holding her out my hands
"What about a walk?"
I avoid the sharp splinters
Of her sweet shattered gaze
Step by step
Into the labyrinths of doubt
Every shelter: a trap
While distresses I witness
The twilight of my heart
You spread around drops of light
Unaware of the rustle
Of invisible syllables:
"You will not get out
Of eternal peace!"
And the virgin blade kisses
- Freeing -
Your white throat
No pain
I'm quite sure
She feels no pain!
The voice
Still throbs:
"Each man
Kills
The thing
He loves!"
(if this doesn't help, you could always go to Love Beach)
=F=
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"You must go beyond the limit of the limit of your limits!" - Mr. Doctor
"It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
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manofmystery
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 26 2008
Location: PA, USA
Status: Offline
Points: 4335
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Posted: June 05 2010 at 00:32 |
You don't need human emotions. Cold logic and reason are far superior to any silly "feelings".
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 Time always wins.
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toroddfuglesteg
Forum Senior Member
Retired
Joined: March 04 2008
Location: Retirement Home
Status: Offline
Points: 3658
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Posted: June 05 2010 at 02:12 |
Conor Fynes wrote:
So, this might seem like a weird place to talk about this..
but my girlfriend of a year and a half and I broke up on the phone about 10 minutes ago.
I have funny feelings in my stomach right now.
The question is... what do I do now? |
Sorry to be on topic here. I am afraid that heartache is a part of the nature. Wolves, lions, elks, eagles and whales also get heartaches. I am afraid you have to take the heartache on the chin and get on with it. This process has to run it's course. Don't get drunk and don't harm yourself. If you feel really bad, call the Samaritans hotline or talk to someone.
Edited by toroddfuglesteg - June 05 2010 at 02:13
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20414
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Posted: June 05 2010 at 03:13 |
Epignosis wrote:
What brand of deodorant do you use? |
....... if any??....................
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let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
|
|
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Love Advice?
