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Man With Hat 
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166178
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 Posted: July 05 2005 at 21:05 |
 Single Coil wrote:
Not a prog joke, but it's all I got:
Q: What's the difference between a bass player and a pizza?
A: A pizza can feed a family of four ! 
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I've heard that...except it was a bit more racial than that, if you know what i'm saying....
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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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nousommedusolei
Forum Senior Member
Joined: April 26 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 233
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 03:35 |
How many dirty stinking apes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Three. One dirty stinking ape to screw in the lightbulb, and the other dirty stinking apes to throw feces at 'im.
heh. 
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I don't believe in demons
I don't believe in devils
I only believe in you
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Sean Trane
Special Collaborator
Prog Folk
Joined: April 29 2004
Location: Heart of Europe
Status: Offline
Points: 20251
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 05:36 |
How do you manage for your guitar player to play not as loud?
Put tablatures in front of him.
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let's just stay above the moral melee
prefer the sink to the gutter
keep our sand-castle virtues
content to be a doer
as well as a thinker,
prefer lifting our pen
rather than un-sheath our sword
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Carakhallo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 12 2005
Location: Spain
Status: Offline
Points: 114
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 06:10 |
This one is from my band drummer:
Imagine a near future.... Bruford and Collins going to "The best
drummer in the world" contest. They both are sure they are going to
win... but suddenly Ringo Starr appears on stage, 75 years old, with
arthritis and alzheimer. Of course, they both return home, since they
know they can't win....
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Carakhallo
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 12 2005
Location: Spain
Status: Offline
Points: 114
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 06:16 |
Also from the same drummer guy. Many people think that, compared to the
greatest drummers, Pat Masteloto, Allan White and Cozy Powell are just
crap. So here it goes...
Masteloto, White and Powell going to a drum juggling contest....
mmmmm... I think I forgot the end... how was it...?...
bass-snare-bass-snare-bass-snare...?
(Sorry, I don't know how does a drum kit sound in english...)
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 07:28 |
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Hmmmm - the thread seems to have been taken over by drummer jokes.
Back to prog-rock jokes (however bad):
Q - What do you call three dozen copies of 'The Sentinel' by Pallas in an incinerator?
A - A good start.
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Cygnus X-2
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: December 24 2004
Location: Bucketheadland
Status: Offline
Points: 21342
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Posted: July 06 2005 at 19:32 |
Man With Hat wrote:
NetsNJFan wrote:
Q: How do you spell pretensious?
A: E - L - P.
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If only that was used during the ELP vs. Rush wars a few months ago.
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yesman72
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 28 2005
Status: Offline
Points: 185
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Posted: July 18 2005 at 19:24 |
Salmacis72 is a frikkin genius!!!!!!!!!! 
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nimrodel
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 07 2005
Location: Finland
Status: Offline
Points: 1217
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Posted: July 20 2005 at 11:39 |
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We want... a shrubbery!
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Pablo_P
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 20 2005
Location: Poland
Status: Offline
Points: 1028
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Posted: July 21 2005 at 04:25 |
^ 101 rules of progmetal... GREAT
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Pablo P.
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tuxon
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502
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Posted: July 21 2005 at 05:13 |
Ok, one Dream theater joke for the persistent crowd.
How do you know Petrucci is playing a solo.
turn the volume up to hearable (not recommended)
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I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT
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AtomHeartMother
Forum Senior Member
Joined: June 18 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 229
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Posted: July 23 2005 at 00:34 |
What does Dale Earnhardt & Pink Floyd have in common?
Their last greatest hit was the wall.
"Who was told not to spit in the fan?" Roger Waters, but he did it anyway, ruining everything and causing The Wall to be made.
Not to funny but thats all I had as far as prog jokes
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kingofbizzare
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 09 2005
Location: United States
Status: Offline
Points: 520
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Posted: July 23 2005 at 22:18 |
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You're in a room with Hitler, Mussolini, and Kenny G. You have a gun with two bullets in it. What do you do?
Shoot Kenny G twice.
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Man With Hat
Collaborator
Jazz-Rock/Fusion/Canterbury Team
Joined: March 12 2005
Location: Neurotica
Status: Offline
Points: 166178
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Posted: July 23 2005 at 22:53 |
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Dig me...But don't...Bury me
I'm running still, I shall until, one day, I hope that I'll arrive
Warning: Listening to jazz excessively can cause a laxative effect.
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stonebeard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 27 2005
Location: NE Indiana
Status: Offline
Points: 28057
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Posted: July 24 2005 at 22:04 |
hilarious
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Rapataz
Forum Senior Member
Joined: July 03 2005
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 116
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Posted: July 25 2005 at 18:11 |
Ok this one is in german I dont know whether it works in English maybe someone can help
sagt ein Jazz Drummer zu einem Metal Drummer:
Hab mir grad neue Besen Für mein Schlagzeug gekauft
Metal Drummer:
cool machst du dir auch deine Sticks selber
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www.myspace.com/rasayanaband
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chopper
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: July 13 2005
Location: Essex, UK
Status: Offline
Points: 20030
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Posted: August 01 2005 at 16:25 |
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My favourite prog rock joke
A guy goes on holiday to a remote Pacific island. When he steps off the
plane he can hear drums playing in the background. He says to the
steward "what are the drums for?". The steward just says "when drums
stop, very very bad".
He goes his hotel, where he can still hear the drums. He says to the
receptionist "what are the drums for?". The receptionist just says
"when drums stop, very very bad".
He tries to sleep that night, but can still hear the drums. After a
couple of sleepless hours, he goes down to reception to complain. He
says to the receptionist "what are the drums for?". The receptionist
just says "when drums stop, very very bad".
The guy says "Why, what happens when the drums stop?"
The receptionist says "When drums stop, bass solo starts!"
No offence to bass players - I am one.
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Jim Garten
Special Collaborator
Retired Admin & Razor Guru
Joined: February 02 2004
Location: South England
Status: Offline
Points: 14693
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Posted: August 04 2005 at 14:00 |
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Q - What's the definition of crowded?
A - A serving hatch full of journalists trying to escape a Ken Hensley moog solo.
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Jon Lord 1941 - 2012
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Prog Rock Jokes
