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tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Posted: September 11 2010 at 13:22

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

zappaholic View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822

Posted: September 11 2010 at 13:24

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken

TheGazzardian View Drop Down

Prog Reviewer

Joined: August 11 2009
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8726

Posted: September 11 2010 at 13:29

Why do beach combers never get hungry? Because of all the sand which is there!

(sound it out)

Formentera Lady View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: August 20 2010
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 1802

Posted: September 11 2010 at 18:16

What do you get if a piano falls down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

(Jon Anderson on the live Yes Acoustic DVD)

Adams Bolero View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 07 2009
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 679

Posted: September 11 2010 at 18:34

CPicard wrote:

- My dog has no nose.
- How does he smell?
- Awful.

''Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.''

- Albert Camus

The Runaway View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144

Posted: September 12 2010 at 06:30

zappaholic wrote:

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Trendsetter win!

The search for nonexistent perfection.

paganinio

Forum Senior Member

Joined: November 07 2008
Status: Offline
Points: 1327

Posted: September 12 2010 at 10:19

finally i know why Wish You Were Here is a timeless album
... because it doesn't have the song "Time" on it.

I started a new thread for this joke because I didn't see this thread........

tuxon

Forum Senior Member

Joined: September 21 2004
Location: plugged-in
Status: Offline
Points: 5502

Posted: September 12 2010 at 16:23

The Runaway wrote:

zappaholic wrote:

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Show me the humor and I will laugh.

any way.

a boy walks into a bar. he didn't listen to all the guys shouting "watch out you are walking into a bar". so he had a percusion, and a terrible headache to accompagny it. but the butterfly said to him thank you very much. and than the boy was still very grateful that although he had a serious enjury at least he did something to make a bug be gratefull to him.

I'm always almost unlucky _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Id5ZcnjXSZaSMFMC Id5LM2q2jfqz3YxT

presdoug

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649

Posted: September 12 2010 at 18:40

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!

zappaholic View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822

Posted: September 12 2010 at 19:10

tuxon wrote:

The Runaway wrote:

zappaholic wrote:

Wenn ist das Nunstuck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Show me the humor and I will laugh.

Not a Monty Python fan, I take it?

/it's from the Killer Joke sketch

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken

presdoug

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649

Posted: September 12 2010 at 21:40

A dyslexic agnostic asks himself- Is there a dog?

what do you get when you drop a grand piano on top of an army base?
A flat major

The Monodrone View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: March 21 2010
Location: Indiana, USA
Status: Offline
Points: 4489

Posted: September 12 2010 at 22:20

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The Runaway View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: May 28 2009
Location: London
Status: Offline
Points: 3144

Posted: September 13 2010 at 02:24

presdoug wrote:

How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!!

A man walks into a bar. Drinks 5 or 6 beers and goes back to his car and drives home. On his way home he crashes his car into a truck and dies. Don't drink and drive...

Oh! Oops, wrong thread LOL

Trendsetter win!

The search for nonexistent perfection.

zappaholic View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822

Posted: September 13 2010 at 20:25

How many militant feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, and there's nothing funny about it!

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken

DisgruntledPorcupine View Drop Down

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 16 2010
Location: Thunder Bay CAN
Status: Offline
Points: 4395

Posted: September 13 2010 at 22:16

Falx wrote:

Spotted on Miss Cellania's blog today...

Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Slartibartfast View Drop Down

Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator / In Memoriam

Joined: April 29 2006
Location: Atlantais
Status: Offline
Points: 29630

Posted: September 16 2010 at 18:20

I met a genie who would grant me one wish

"I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry" said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"

"Fine," I said, "I want to die after the Democrats grow some balls!"

"You crafty b*****d," said the genie.

Released date are often when it it impacted you but recorded dates are when it really happened...

presdoug

Forum Senior Member

Joined: January 24 2010
Location: Canada
Status: Offline
Points: 8649

Posted: September 17 2010 at 09:46

Did you hear about the prostitute that joined the military?

She assumed a new position

Edited by presdoug - September 17 2010 at 09:49

irrelevant View Drop Down

Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator

Joined: March 07 2010
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 13382

Posted: September 17 2010 at 10:48

Army Intelligence

New album!
http://www.progarchives.com/artist.asp?id=7385

AtomicCrimsonRush View Drop Down

Special Collaborator

Honorary Collaborator

Joined: July 02 2008
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 14258

Posted: September 22 2010 at 07:18

2 elephants fell off a cliff

BOOM BOOM!

Luna

Forum Senior Member

Joined: July 28 2010
Location: Funky Town
Status: Offline
Points: 12794

Posted: September 22 2010 at 07:25

How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?
12.
1 to change it, 11 to say "The first lightbulb was better!"

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