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Rabid 
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 20 2008
Location: Bridge of Knows
Status: Offline
Points: 512
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 Topic: Know any quick jokes?
Posted: September 07 2010 at 20:16 |
List your favourite quick joke.
Q : Which one of the Marx Brothers had the dirtiest underpants ?
A : Skid.
(apparently, they was so bad, he was never allowed to be in any of their films).
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"...the thing IS, to put a motor in yourself..."
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NecronCommander
Special Collaborator
Prog Metal Team
Joined: September 17 2009
Location: Madison, WI
Status: Offline
Points: 16122
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Posted: September 07 2010 at 20:17 |
Two muffins sitting in an oven, right?
One muffin says to the other, "Wow, it sure is hot in here."
Says the other muffin: "Holy f*ck, a talking muffin!"
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: September 07 2010 at 20:19 |
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Knock knock
*gun blast*
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Falx
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 05 2010
Location: New Zealand
Status: Offline
Points: 859
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 00:55 |
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Justin Bieber.
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"You must go beyond the limit of the limit of your limits!" - Mr. Doctor
"It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
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jenniferallain
Forum Newbie
Joined: September 07 2010
Status: Offline
Points: 1
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 01:19 |
 NecronCommander wrote:
Two muffins sitting in an oven, right?
One muffin says to the other, "Wow, it sure is hot in here."
Says the other muffin: "Holy f*ck, a talking muffin!" |
Yeah right.. Really funny indeed.. 
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JJLehto
Prog Reviewer
Joined: April 05 2006
Location: Tallahassee, FL
Status: Offline
Points: 34550
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 01:20 |
Falx wrote:
Justin Bieber.
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Damn it. Winner
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Falx
Forum Senior Member
Joined: May 05 2010
Location: New Zealand
Status: Offline
Points: 859
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 03:15 |
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Spotted on Miss Cellania's blog today...
Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.
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"You must go beyond the limit of the limit of your limits!" - Mr. Doctor
"It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
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SaltyJon
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 08 2008
Location: Location
Status: Offline
Points: 28772
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 09:48 |
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Two men walked into a bar. The third one walked home.
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 12:48 |
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You want a short joke? Okay.
Want another one?
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RoeDent
Forum Senior Member
Joined: September 08 2009
Location: Wales
Status: Offline
Points: 850
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 17:37 |
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Two men walked into a bar.
They both wanted a lager. The bartender said 'Alright then' and gave them their drinks.
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Conor Fynes
Prog Reviewer
Joined: February 11 2009
Location: Vancouver, CA
Status: Offline
Points: 3196
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 17:47 |
Why did the salad eat the sandwich?
Because he was hungry?
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zappaholic
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 24 2006
Location: flyover country
Status: Offline
Points: 2822
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 19:23 |
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A guy walks into a bar. *KLUNK*
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"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard." -- H.L. Mencken
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Adams Bolero
Forum Senior Member
Joined: January 07 2009
Location: Ireland
Status: Offline
Points: 679
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 21:46 |
Q: Why did the student leave the maths study group.
A: He found it difficult to integrate.
Edited by Adams Bolero - September 08 2010 at 21:47
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''Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.''
- Albert Camus
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SaltyJon
Special Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: February 08 2008
Location: Location
Status: Offline
Points: 28772
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Posted: September 08 2010 at 21:49 |
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!
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irrelevant
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 07 2010
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 13382
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Posted: September 09 2010 at 05:51 |
The other day I turned into the girl from 'The Exorcist'.
That was a head turner.
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Mr. Maestro
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 05 2010
Location: Knowhere, USA
Status: Offline
Points: 918
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Posted: September 09 2010 at 13:37 |
Guy 2 is standing at street corner with a dog. Guy 1 walks up.
Guy 1 asks Guy 2, "Does your dog bite?"
Guy 2 says, "No."
Guy 1 reaches down to pet the dog. The dog bites his hand.
Guy 1 says to Guy 2, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
Guy 2 says to Guy 1, "That's not my dog."
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"I am the one who crossed through space...or stayed where I was...or didn't exist in the first place...."
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Formentera Lady
Forum Senior Member
Joined: August 20 2010
Location: Germany
Status: Offline
Points: 1802
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Posted: September 09 2010 at 16:24 |
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A plane full of Polish tourists flies in over New York.
The steward says: "On the left side you can see the Statue of Liberty."
Then the plane crashes into the sea. Why?
Answer: Too many Poles on the left half of the plane.
(Ok, this is for mathematicians only...)
Edited by Formentera Lady - September 09 2010 at 16:25
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Mr. Maestro
Forum Senior Member
Joined: March 05 2010
Location: Knowhere, USA
Status: Offline
Points: 918
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Posted: September 09 2010 at 16:36 |
(Joke for physicists only)
Two hydrogen atoms are walking down the street. One of them says to the other, "I think I lost an electron!"
The other one says, "Are you sure?"
So the first one responds, "Yeah! I'm positive!"
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"I am the one who crossed through space...or stayed where I was...or didn't exist in the first place...."
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irrelevant
Collaborator
Honorary Collaborator
Joined: March 07 2010
Location: Australia
Status: Offline
Points: 13382
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Posted: September 10 2010 at 02:05 |
The camera got angry and broke.
What a loose canon.
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CPicard
Forum Senior Member
Joined: October 03 2008
Location: Là, sui monti.
Status: Offline
Points: 10841
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Posted: September 11 2010 at 12:35 |
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- My dog has no nose.
- How does he smell?
- Awful.
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Know any quick jokes?
