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James Lee View Drop Down
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Topic: Reviews that Stand Out
    Posted: August 12 2004 at 11:33

How about a thread of some of the more unique contributions to the reviews? While I don't necessarily want to single people out for ridicule, I think some really fascinatingly mystifying points of view have been submitted. Humor (intentional or unintentional), bizarre observations, or just plain missing the point entirely would be good criteria. Even some of the more warped web-translations would work (I, for one, have come to look forward to andrea salvador's submissions).

Here's some recent examples to get us started:

YES - Fragile
Review by penguindf12 @ 6:01:53 PM EST, 8/11/2004

4 stars  —   Great album. Excellent. But it's just not Pink Floyd. It would be a five-star in my opinion if I could find out the concept of it or the theme here. I assume it has one? Maybe I'm just nieve, but I can't figure out the lyrical meaning behind the excellent music. If someone could point me to the purpose of the album, please do.
 
YES - Fragile
Review by andrea salvador @ 8:32:32 AM EST, 8/11/2004
5 stars  —   To say it is a perfect album is to say null! The masterpiece of true Yes! One of the album more influential than all the rock! Perfect in all, from the first one to last second of music, with the musicians who exceed themselves and sound and one recording truly perfect! That other to say... If you did not know that it exists, I would not believe to us... This is music... This are Yes!
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Points: 15585 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 12 2004 at 15:10
Andrea's reviews should have a special page of their own!Thumbs UpLOL
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Points: 63 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 04:51

Love this one:

RUSH Rush - In Rio
Review by Ian Gledhill @ 2:15:05 PM EST, 2/14/2004
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1 stars  —  This is one repeatedly overated band who, along with the likes of the rolling stones should have packed it in years ago. The last time I listened to this band was when I was in high school. For eggheads only.

I guess I'm an egghead!
"Some things have to be believed to be seen."
-Ralph Hodgson
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Points: 16130 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 05:34

Me too, Arbiter. I'm the biggest 'egghead' of the all. Rush are my top group and that review is not a review at all. It should not have been posted. Not because I disagree with it  but because it doesn't actually say anything. He doesn't say what is so awful about the product he is reviewing, or the artist generally.

Now I'm under the impression, correct me if I'm wrong, that you have to have some kind of credibility around here to write reviews for Progarchives????? Well he certainly didn't.

I'd like to have a go myself. At least I wouldn't sl*g the artists off, or worse still those who appreciate the artist

Ultimately bored by endless ecstasy!
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Points: 7559 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 07:22
Originally posted by Arbiter Arbiter wrote:

Love this one:

RUSH Rush - In Rio
Review by Ian Gledhill @ 2:15:05 PM EST, 2/14/2004
PROG REVIEWER
1 stars  —  This is one repeatedly overated band who, along with the likes of the rolling stones should have packed it in years ago. The last time I listened to this band was when I was in high school. For eggheads only.

I guess I'm an egghead!

This review does not meet the ProgArchive guidelines, which clearly state that a review should be 50 words or more. This clocks in at a mere 40...

Who are you calling pedantic?
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Points: 1835 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 12:06
I can't find now the ProgArchives review that has amused me most so far. It consisted of a single word: "mierda" (sh*t in Spanish). The antithesis of my longer, rambling reviews. I know we should explain *why* we think something is una mierda, but perhaps sometimes "less is more".
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James Lee View Drop Down
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 16:49

oh, if you could find that it would be wonderful...a perfect example of why I started this thread

if I can rationalize all the time it's gonna take, I'll start combing through the individual album sections looking for appropriate entries. I'm just that kind of egghead...



Edited by James Lee
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 16:57

here's one that should be familiar to several recent forum-crawlers. Call it a re-issue

PINK FLOYD Dark Side of the Moon, The
Review by andrea salvador @ 4:34:28 PM EST, 6/28/2004

2 stars  —  "The Dark Side Of The Moon" has one of plus commercial LP ot the history of music! For me not a bud LP but not has a historical LP as history have say!!! I rack my brains but i don't can to imagine this magic arts in this LP! For this reason I consider this album is a black album of 70's!!!!!
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Points: 15585 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 16:58

James,

There's a few on the language thread...Wink
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James Lee View Drop Down
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 17:00

my personal favorite in the repeated misspelling category:

PINK FLOYD Piper at the Gates of Dawn, The
Review by noiyz @ 12:48:21 PM EST, 4/8/2004

1 stars  —  This albulm sounds like garbage. I don't care how innovative it was, it sounds terrible now. The songs don't have any of the meaning that later PF has. All of the songs here are trivial nonsense. Barret was not a genius. This albulm is *AWFUL*. It is not only one of the worst PF albulm's I've heard, it's one of the worst albulms I've ever heard. The songs on this albulm lack coherence. The noise (I mean music) is irritating. The whole albulm is goofy.
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 17:11
Originally posted by Easy Livin Easy Livin wrote:

James,

There's a few on the language thread...Wink

I was thinking of re-posting both the "steeve" IQ review or the "Brad alexa" Dream Theater review; both are so moronically offensive they've achieved a certain distinction.
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 17:34

good grief, I'm worn out and I haven't even finished the Pink Floyd section. Here's one that could never be accused of damning with faint praise:

PINK FLOYD The Wall
Review by Alan @ 11:07:03 PM EST, 2/3/2004

5 stars  —  Simply, the most intellegent, most emotionally poweful, best-conceived and executed Rock album ever. Indeed, this is not merely a brialliant rock album, not even a magnum opus, but an artistic and intellectual acheivement on the same level as Tolstoy's War and Peace, Ingmar Bergan's 'Seventh Seal', and Beethoven's 9th Symphony. Roger Waters has here provided, in a rock-opera format, a contemporary companion to Marx's 'Capital' for understanding our selves and our collective past.
 
 
 
and to think I wasted time going to college...I could have just stayed home and listened to the Wall instead!
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James Lee View Drop Down
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 13 2004 at 17:47

All the more interesting due to the fact that the review he's responding to is no longer visible. By the way, all the reviews I'm posting are in their entirety- I wouldn't want to miss a coherent thought by printing something out of context

PINK FLOYD Dark Side Of The Moon (30th anniversary edition)
Review by spencer @ 8:19:45 PM EST, 1/15/2004

4 stars  —  look at the blokes name below.sums him up perfectly.mr.dippy,you stick to people like the spice girls and west life.i would hate to see your cd collection.i can just imagine you,in your renault 5,windows down,sunglasses,stupid haircut and listning to jungle fall blast.you really know your music dont you?
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Points: 3525 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 07:29

absolutely wonderful- just posted today...it must be fate

DREAM THEATER - Through Her Eyes
Review by Fan @ 5:26:21 AM EST, 8/14/2004

2 stars  —   Good! But it's not really single! It's a mini album. When Images and Word Unite is a Pearl for fans. But I think also a great single for the others. I interising at this group and I think then Dream Theater (ex Majesty) are the best. I like throught her eyes with John Petrucci very soft. Rudess, ohhhhhhh. hallo! Bye bye. I little little speak English. I think then you have understand anything. Sorry, but I am Italian fan. W Dream theater and prog. metal / rock Ciao Ciao Ciao. Vi voglio bene :D Bye bye bye Good Night I'm Finish.
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Points: 15585 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 12:35

Dream Theater seem to attract some colourful reviews:

DREAM THEATER Train Of Thought
Review by Gian @ 5:21:52 PM EST, 8/1/2004
1 stars  —  this is the worst album from Dream theater, dont listen to this. Money is the objective of this album and I think this is the end of DT's Progressive albuns. Lots of maximum score for this NEW METAL album, doesn't make sense. Please guys, listen to good music, not a album like this, just because you're fans. If you're really fans of DT dont listen, dont buy, and dont talk never about Train of Thought.

DREAM THEATER Train Of Thought
Review by Miles Eadie @ 9:31:43 PM EST, 8/7/2004
5 stars  —  This album is amazing! One of Dream Theater's best work, by far! Dream Theater is the best band of all time! ----------------------- PLEASE, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS TO GET SICK OF DREAM THEATER'S MUSIC! SO IF SOMEONE OUT THERE KNOWS OF A GOOD BAND THAT CAN EVEN BE COMPAIRED TO DREAM THEATER, PLEASE TELL ME! AND I'VE CHECKED OUT TONS OF BANDS THAT DON'T EVEN COMPAIR TO DREAM THEATER! SO PLEASE TELL ME! AND I DON'T MEAN PROGRESSIVE BANDS THAT HAVE SINGERS WITH EXTREMELY HIGH VOICES, LIKE, ANGRA! AND I DON'T MEAN ANY KORNY BANDS LIKE SYMPHONY X!----------- ---------- So please guys, help me out!

DREAM THEATER Train Of Thought
Review by Leandro Del Prete @ 4:07:54 PM EST, 4/25/2004
5 stars  —  In disagree with the most of the reviews here, I think this is a great album indeed, heavy just like a heavy metal fan likes it. Combined with the inconfundible progressive style of DT, it makes this album a sweet temptation. James Labrie, you're not James Hetfield!! But you do it as good as him, don't worry!!
 
(Inconfundible!Confused)
 
DREAM THEATER Train Of Thought
Review by tr_club @ 4:45:37 AM EST, 4/2/2004
3 stars  —  it is such a good album,but not best...i think its too metal and skilfull, for someone who likes prog..it is very unlike and discusting..but..for us..and one who love metal music..PLIS..BUY IT...IF U NOT BUY......DOPE!!!!
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Points: 15585 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 12:47

And some more of Andrea's

EMERSON LAKE & PALMER (ELP) Emerson, Lake & Powell
Review by andrea salvador @ 2:13:02 PM EST, 7/27/2004
4 stars  —  I know that Cozy Powell the best given it with Raimbow and Whitesnake but also to me it appeals to here. And to sincere being creed that is a advanced album. I consider in fact "The Mireacle" and "Learnig To Fly" two masterpieces. "Mars, Bringer Of War" is the another piece of resumed classic music from ours, only that now the result is advanced to the usual. Finally one consideration: in the Apocalyptic Prog, better ELP or Rick Wakeman? Ardous to choose, even if ELP are sincerer.

 
GENTLE GIANT Gentle Giant
Review by andrea salvador @ 4:30:21 PM EST, 7/14/2004
4 stars  —  You to make one's debut some therefore I did not have never you feel yourself! That album and above all that song ("Giant" is a masterpiece! "Nothing At All", "Funny Ways" and "Alucard" are not from less!) considerating that group was to the first crews. They are sincere because creed that never a group can make from endured album therefore perfect.
 
THE MOODY BLUES To our Children's Children's Children
Review by andrea salvador @ 1:18:21 PM EST, 7/3/2004
4 stars  —  This album is one of plus convinced album of progressive rock.The Moody Blues is one of firsts band of progressive and I consider this band one of plus serious band in this genre. To our Children's Children's Children's is an album with suggestion capacity, but the sound of the album is poor. But I consider this deficiency one of plus convinced good shape of the adolescent period of progressive. All song convinced me in one mix of many emotions, but my favourites songs are "Candle Of Life", "Eyes Of A Child" (1 & 2) and "I Never Though I'd Live To Be A Million". Thi album is a magical album and I consider this album one of plus excellent project of adolescent progressive and The Moody Blues an immortal band!!!

PINK FLOYD Dark Side of the Moon, The
Review by andrea salvador @ 4:34:28 PM EST, 6/28/2004
2 stars  —  "The Dark Side Of The Moon" has one of plus commercial LP ot the history of music! For me not a bud LP but not has a historical LP as history have say!!! I rack my brains but i don't can to imagine this magic arts in this LP! For this reason I consider this album is a black album of 70's!!!!!
 
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Points: 3013 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 14:55
Originally posted by Arbiter Arbiter wrote:

Love this one:

RUSH Rush - In Rio
Review by Ian Gledhill @ 2:15:05 PM EST, 2/14/2004
PROG REVIEWER
1 stars  —  This is one repeatedly overated band who, along with the likes of the rolling stones should have packed it in years ago. The last time I listened to this band was when I was in high school. For eggheads only.

I guess I'm an egghead!

Along those same lines, from that same reviewer...

PORCUPINE TREE Lightbulb Sun
Review by Ian Gledhill @ 10:12:25 PM EST, 4/27/2004
PROG REVIEWER
1 stars  —  Do not buy. Stay away from any material from this band. If I could have I would have given this a negative 5 star rating. I hope I can recover a fair portion of the $23 I wasted on this CD at the second hand CD shop.

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Points: 42 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 17:30

Originally posted by Fitzcarraldo Fitzcarraldo wrote:

I can't find now the ProgArchives review that has amused me most so far. It consisted of a single word: "mierda" (sh*t in Spanish). The antithesis of my longer, rambling reviews. I know we should explain *why* we think something is una mierda, but perhaps sometimes "less is more".

I think the album was Shark Sandwich by Spinal Tap.....?  (    )
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Points: 12818 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 14 2004 at 19:34
Originally posted by Arbiter Arbiter wrote:

For eggheads only.

I guess I'm an egghead!



Methinks the original reviewer has no clue what an egghead is..........................
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Points: 63 		Direct Link To This Post Posted: August 16 2004 at 12:18

Originally posted by Dick Heath Dick Heath wrote:

Originally posted by Arbiter Arbiter wrote:

For eggheads only. I guess I'm an egghead!
Methinks the original reviewer has no clue what an egghead is..........................

I've been called worse...

Great thread Dick! (err, James!Embarrassed)



Edited by Arbiter
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